Pride and Prejudice! 1

For Sunday March 24th 2013

Between Us Only!

Pride and Prejudice!

Or My Poor ‘African Cousin’!

  • The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong Mahatma Gandhi
  • Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them!Bruce Lee
  • The successful man will profit from his mistakes and try again in a different wayDale Carnegie

A Introduction

According to Wikipedia, Pride and Prejudice is a novel by Jane Austen, first published in 1813. The story follows the main character Elizabeth Bennet as she deals with issues of manners, upbringing, morality, education, and marriage in the society of the landed gentry of early 19th century England. Elizabeth is the second of five daughters of a country gentleman living near the fictional town of Meryton in Hertfordshire, near London. “Pride and Prejudice is also about that thing that all great novels consider – the search for self.

One day Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi stole a little money from his father’s pocket. He trembled to pick his father’s pocket. But he realized it was a great crime. This realization did not allow him to rest in peace. He became restless. His conscience pricked him. It was too much to bear. So, he decided that he should never steal anything from anybody under any circumstances. He did not stop at that.

Pride-Prejudice

Image Pride and Prejudice.

He wrote a letter of confession admitting his mistake and swore that he would never resort to stealing. But he was not bold enough to give the letter to his father. So, he put it in his pocket secretly. The father was so much moved by the confession that he instantly forgave self-correction, Gandhi became Mahatma Gandhi. So, let us learn to admit the mistakes done by us knowingly or unknowingly, and also to try not to commit the same mistake in our life time.

B The Story

I do not know about you but in my life’s time I have done some real big mistakes and errors in judgement in my life – but nothing is compared to when one is a young child and as a teenager. Some mistakes we may have regretted immediately afterwards – and others it took us a long time to admit – after fighting our own guilt and conscience – and we regret to the end of our lives even! I read this Snoopy character cartoon of ‘Make one mistake – and you will regret for the rest of your life!

African Woman 1

Image – African Woman

People like us from parents and grandparents that went to Africa cannot discount or deny the links to that distant land – even in family and relatives connections. Our parents and (great) grandparents went to Africa in dhows – and many decided to settle there after the dark part of our history in autocracy and persecution – and supported by those that preached freedom and democracy in more as rhetoric and falsehood than in reality – so long as ‘their interests’ are served – they do not care or feel for anybody else. It is only when there is ‘threat and or infringement’ that they dare to step in to ‘preserve and protect’ their own interests and well being only!

African Woman 2

Image African Woman

I had one of my late Uncles who spoke fluent Swahili – but he was embarrassed and feeling shameful that he did – and had even been to Africa – and that even one of his own sons had married a local girl – and got children too – his grandchildren. Of course he was more attuned to his children that were more near his own choices of in arranged marriages than the rebel prodigical son! I found this irony very much disturbing and upsetting – because it looked to me like that ostrich with head in the ground approach of life’s aspects.

He is not alone – there are many others just like him – in that you look the other way – and expect the whole world in this internet global age to do the same! As Obama had said – Those days are long gone! We need to wake up to the realization and truth only. That is why I always say – in Oman we have a great thing going – and to do the right correct ethical and right thing – even if eventually and belatedly sometimes! Now having preached and in rhetoric practice – I need to admit this part of my life’s history. In talking about myself – hopefully others will learn too – and some hopefully may even copy and emulate in the process!

African Woman 3

Image – African Women

As a young boy of about 8 years old – our late grandfather direct from Manah – had married a local girl there in that distant land. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder – and there is no colour, race, creed, nationality or ethnicity in love – truthfully and honestly speaking here! So whether we like it or not – we are related directly to the offsprings – even if they may look differently to us! Our father at the time was very rich and powerful – and he had the colonial District Commissioner as ‘his personal friend and protector’. I said about all these things before!

As you can guess – coming from a rich family – and you had just to say it – and your wish was given to you! I remembered when my late father had asked me – if I wanted anything gift in particular – and I told him that I wanted a horse! I meant a real live horse – but the poor man gave us a riding horse alright – but made of steel – and wheels! So being pampered and getting whatever we wanted as kids – our heads were in the clouds – spoilt and pompous – and looking down on other kids lesser fortunate than us. Including this poor girl from the family too! It was Eid day and the whole family had met in our late father’s rich house – and there were all of us there – including invited guests from outside!

So this poor girl wanted to ride my bicycle – and selfish me did not allow her to do so! But I allowed others – and that was the worst mean part of me – in prejudices! Pride and prejudice! She is one year older than me! We made amends few years ago – when I kneeled down and apologised to her what I did to her as a young boy.

Please pray for her too – because she needs your prayers too! Because she is very sick – and the message came in last Wednesday. She had insisted that I be informed – and I pray for her! And she …. has forgiven me – because she did instead ride the truck – that I bought for her husband’s business far later in life!

What more can I say? Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

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Increasing Alcohol Abuse! Reply

For Sunday March 17th 2013

Between Us Only!

Increasing Alcohol Abuse!

v O you who believe! Intoxicants (all kinds of alcoholic drinks), gambling, idolatry, and diving arrows are an abomination of Satan’s handiwork. So avoid that so that you may be successful – The Holy Quran 5: 90

v Alcohol maybe man’s worst enemy! – Frank Sinatra

v I don’t even drink! I can’t stand the taste of alcohol! – Kim Kardashian

v Alcohol gives you infinite patience for stupidity – Sammy Davis Jnr.

v Herb is the healing of a nation; alcohol is the destruction! – Bob Marley

v Alcohol is the anesthia by which we endure the operation of life – George Bernard Shaw.

Frankly and truthfully speaking, I have written on this very same topic a few times before! The last time I wrote on this – a few years ago – a very irate and upset relative of the family called me to start an abusive from the start discussion about my writings – and saying to me that he will be very blunt – because maybe the world does not know it – but he knows it for sure that an Indian guy working for this newspaper – was writing for me – and paying him on the sideline! He said to me – you can fool everyone – but not me! I know exactly about you. All things you think we do not know about you!

Drunk 2

Drinkin Images For Demonstration Purposes Only!

The call was placed to me at 2 a.m. in those days when people still used land phone lines! And Madam Wife MW was worried because I was ‘at my best behaviour’ and just listening without saying anything – especially to the loud voices and shouts at the other end – after calling some minutes later – to ‘give me a piece of his mind – once more!’. Anyway – I told MW that it was a certain WRTXY – and certainly at that time he was not sober – and one could easily tell from the hoarse husky gruff voice at the other end. I do not know what hand signals he was also placing – as he was talking to me – but one does not need high imagination to fathom out what they could be!

Next day, at around noon he came to my Office – and I was just about to press the emergency link button to Security – when he started crying in the Office in very loud voices – now that he was sober – and asking for ‘my help to save him’ – and if I knew Alcoholics Anonymous contact – but I referred him to a fellow Omani peer who likes his drinks – and the one that easily became ‘high flying potential’ to succeed over a lot of the rest of us that went without and observing – because we had not caught on – and were ‘not modern’!

hard times

Drinkin Images For Demonstration Purposes Only!

When I was studying in UK in the 1970s, my peers foreign students friends used to use me as their chauffeur to take them from the pubs – until that day when I put my foot down – when two of them dirtied my car. There was there one pretty tall local girl that really took a fancy to me – remember I was still young and not married then – but when she found out that I was not ‘drinking even socially’ – as she kindly put it – that was too much for her! And the pretty thing slipped through my fingers!

For a long time I was fighting with the devil whether to entertain her or not – until then when I remembered and came to my senses – as the East Africans say – The one who denies you beans – is just reducing you from getting gas! – And frankly not a lost grapes saga!

Drunk 1

Drinkin Images For Demonstration Purposes Only!

In one of the new FDI companies, I was in a very good position and status as their HR man in Oman. Until the day when the top guys from their home came to the launch – and found out that my white wine glass was actually a soft drink beverage! One of them was drawn to the bubbles in the glass – because as I understand it – the white wine does not cause bubbles?

He said to me – I am confused! I thought you were 3 years in UK? Explain to me! So I did! And that also happened in a Management course abroad – a few years before I retired – because the good final farewell party Organiser said to me – All you people (you people?) coming from (our region) drink heavily – why are you a fish out of water – from the famous expression – drink like a fish! Sic!

It is very sad to see the outlook and approach of life that some of our youngsters have adopted and taken that ‘it is okay – that you can drink a little – ‘just to socialise’ escapades – but they forget that it is how all the things start – before you start making a fool and nuisance of yourself – and cause strife and havoc in your married and family life. Sad when even the lassies do it too – because I can tell you – honestly and frankly – whether you believe me or not – that even those that like their drinks want a spouse and life partner that does not drink! HEALTH Alcohol 074058

Drinkin Images For Demonstration Purposes Only!

I have seen it real life experiences – both local and foreign – where marriages – even amongst the elders – supposed to be more patient and waiting in dreams for changes – have broken up – because of the stuff! Because that is the root cause of domestic violence! The people that suffer the most – and hopefully will not join in the future – copy and emulate – are the children teenagers only!

Trust me – I am a great believer in ‘live and let live’ syndromes and approaches – because I could go to a pub and have my meal – and if you leave me alone to have nowadays my fresh juice also – and you have whatever you want – but don’t impose your rules and values to me – and I will not impose mine to you! If you say to me things like ‘a lot of you people (you people?) drink a lot – when you have only have few examples in reality to give – then we have problems ahead – between us – as I had said in my books too!

One long time ago – in a great party – one of the top local guys that just could not stand me – told me ‘why he hated me to the core’. Next day sober (hopefully!) he said to me – I hope I was not a nuisance yesterday? I said – sarcastically – more to myself – No Sir! You were okay! Why give him the advantage – and an ace card?

Allah God Guide us the Right Path and Way – Amin Amen. Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

With sincere and due apologies!

Blaming Others In Life! Reply

The Oman Daily Observer – 13th 2013

Blaming Others In Life!

  • A man can fail many times, but he isn’t a failure until he begins to blame somebody elseJohn Burroughs
  • In Life’s decisions, it is always your fault, because if you wanted to change, you’re the one who has got to change – Katharine Hepburn
  • Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past. Let us accept our own responsibility and for the future – John F. Kennedy
  • When you blame others, you give up your power to change – Robert Anthony

Since the essence of time, people have always blamed others for their own mistakes and errors in judgment and in decision making! We may blame our parents – our upbringing – our families, relatives and friends – and the environment and society as a whole of our current troubles, problems and predicaments. We do not accept our own roles and responsibilities – but must always find scapegoats and excuses.

Blame 1

We may a thing has going bad for a very long time – but we do not come in to rectify and save the situation – until things have gone very wrong – and we go in for quick and fast fixes – instead of looking deep in self analysis and deep soul search of why things went wrong – or of the status quo!

During history, people have even ‘killed the messenger of bad news’ – as if in doing so – the problems will just evaporate and disappear in front of our own eyes! That is why the ‘cheapest slave’ is selected to send in the bad news! It is true that it is very easy and convenient to sit at the pedestal and preach – whilst we ourselves are not perfect – and do the very same things that our preaching is against! That is human beings for you!

Blame 2

The Nazis blamed the Jews for the economy down turn in pre World War 2 Germany. In the end, 6 million Jews were massacred in cold blood by Hitler and his Nazi thugs. In Yugoslavia they blamed the Muslims – and some of them did not know even that they were Muslims in Communist times – because they were not practising – drank alcohol and ate pork in abundance – only their supposed to be Muslim names differianted them from the rest.

Iddi Amin – The ex Ugandan Dictator – blamed the Asians for the economic status quo of Uganda then! He said he had ‘a dream from God’ – to expel and chuck out the Asians from Uganda. During a famous demonstration – he took a certificate of citizenship of one Asian named Patel – and tore it into pieces – declaring in front of a great cheering crowd – There Mr. Patel – you are no longer a citizen of Uganda – and end of ‘Paper Citizens’ per se! So did Saddam Hussein who shot Traders because ‘they were raising prices’ during the embargo boycott times. These are all facts of history – recorded and preserved – and nothing new or invented!

Blame 3

Image – Blame! For Demonstration Purposes Only!

On an individual level – I must admit that my own weaknesses and kindnesses led to the eventual downfall of my own business in Consultancy! Because I wanted to employ as many unemployed youth as I could that came knocking at our doors – or were being referred to us.

When business was very good at the start of the business – we never sat and thought of what things would be in when there was no more business – or the support and assistance – financial and otherwise – started to be withdrawn. Or us refusing to be unprofessional, unethical and unprincipled – by taking acceptances to short cuts – and doing things all wrong and crooked – so ‘just to survive’ – as the twisted crooked sayings go!

Blame 4

The same thing can be said of my career life. I should have been more hard hearted stone hearted and do just as I was told – and like that mercenary soldier told to shoot – and not only shoots – but even throw in a grenade in the process. Or when told to jump – not to ask and challenge – but revert to how high do you want me to jump! Be a better team player – The us and them syndrome – at least we are in control of the situation – and they will do our bidding! So like what Bush said – You are either with us – or with them! Not stupid unwise me saying – I am with the third option – not with them – nor with you – but more with myself and my own outlooks, focuses and conscience only!

You will forgive me too. With all that has happened to me and being also that sickish and oldish – I have become ‘egg shell’ – and case (top) sensitive! Imagine arguing and fighting with a bed-ridden ailing and invalid relative – because he was lamenting on his current status – and ‘blaming the whole world’ – including us the family members – but as if he was innocent and perfect. I admit I may have many faults and issues – but one thing I am not for sure.

Blame A

Even in my major operation in Royal Hospital and being in a serious diabetic attack a few years ago – that even the foreign Arab Doctor was teasing me – do you have iron veins? Because in your state – you should be in a coma, paralysed or even dead! Yet I was smiling and cheerful! I blamed no one – except myself for putting my life and health in extreme risks – because I was still crying and lamenting on my lost consultancy business – and my lost personal and family status! Whatever the case – I would never dare to speak a harsh and cruel cutting word – to a doctor – and even a visitor – and more if he is family and relative – and had come in with good sincere faith to see me!

Our late Father used to tell us – Nobody kisses your hand – unless you are rich and powerful – or it is spiked with honey. And if you see a poor man’s hand being kissed – most likely it is the later – or in most probabilities – it is either the son or daughter related of that poor man!

Next time you want to blame others for your decisions and mistakes in life – Just Don’t! Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

Being Good In Life! Reply

For Sunday March 10th 2013

Between Us Only!

Being Good In Life!

  • You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty! – Ghandi.
  • Wait down for the person going up the ladder! East African Saying
  • We never know what is waiting for us in our futures. Sometimes you may wish for a quick end death – but it still is not coming! As Above!

A long time agowhen our late Father was still alive – he used to advise us – If you are in a dhow (ship) – and all around you – including the captain and crew – are one eyed – then close one eye! Do not show that you can see with both eyes! Because with the guys inborn envious streaks and jealousies – and their eagerness to put you in your place – they may make you lose both eyes! Because different groups of them will be after you – and they may have lost which eye they had left! Sound advice!

Being Good 1

Fight Between Good and Bad!

I do not know about you – but it is my contention and feeling that today in life the more good and humane things you do – the more you get hurt and pained in life! You become the victim of your own making and circumstances! Have you noticed that those that had made it – or doing well in life – are mean, dastardly and cruel? They have no remembrances or recall of any favours or good things that you have or might have done for them – or those near them? They easily and conveniently forget – because they can – and are in position to do so!

If you go to some of the places – and see great cars parked outside – be precautioned and be warned! You do not know who the owner or tenant of that house really is! You may be shocked and awed! Unless you have a real need or requirement to go in – don’t! Be especially careful of those just coming into money – or suddenly making big money! They are meanly and dastardly changed people – not what you knew them to be before! They have their heads in the clouds – and riding high horses!

You will forgive me for generalising – but I have seen it real in life – with even family, friends and acquaintances! From the same peoples that once were in glee and rejoicing of owning a small Korean or Japanese car! Now there are top of the ranges – top luxury and fast cars parked outside!

Being Good 3

Image – Being Good!

I have been to one house – and stupid me thinking that he will remember the favours I did to him personally before – which could have been even instrumental of where he is now! I ended not only disappointed and frustrated – but insulted in the process – and walked out like that dog with its tail stuck into its behind! I will not forget this to the end of my life!

So do not expect that if you do anything kind and nice to others – people will remember! They have short memories! The East Africans say – Do your good deed – and continue on your journey! Do not wait for favours being returned or remembered – otherwise you will never make that journey!

Being Good 2

So my question is this! If you do good and nice things to people – and they easily forget and do not remember – is the situation the same if instead you do bad and evil things? No – in many cases than one – you will be the hero! See how real good nice faithful wives fare? The husband is fooling around! So is the reverse of the case with husbands too! Yet they are seen as great – and heroes! The dull, dumb and stupid ones are those that want to be nice – and remain good! Life’s foibles – twists and turns – the worst in humanity – the decay – the decadence – and the malaise in life!

In one of the many companies that I worked – I had one girl assistant – who at least to me looked nice and decent – and we got along fine – boss and assistant! Years later, I came to realise that this girl – who was friendly and popular in the office – was shunned and casted away by her family and relatives – because God forgive her sins where she is now – because she was very mean, cruel and hard on her own family!

Even when she was very sick and invalid – on her death bed – few or almost none of them visited her – with exception of course of office friends that did not know the real person outside office – the Dr. Jackyl and Mr. Hyde dramas! There was even a great dispute of which house for her dead body was to be taken to – because even in death the despise, hatred and animosity did not decline! The only few people that were crying were her office friends – but hardly any or almost none of the direct family and relatives!

People outside that did not know the real facts and the truth just liked to accuse and criticise the family – with yours truly on board! For me yet – it was a great shocker – because I had prided myself as a good study of character and personality – but I got it all wrong! Perhaps because I was blinded by her being a great fan and reader of my works!

Next time you plan to do a good and kind deed – do it and continue on your journey! But if you are yearning to be famous and a hero – you know what you must do now! It has been known to work – to a considerable success!

Allah Protect and Preserve us all – Amin!

Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

Wipe My Tears! Reply

The Oman Daily Observer Features – March 3rd 2013

Between Us Only!

Wipe My Tears!

It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart – Mahatma Ghandi

I do not know if you have noticed this? The truth is – every time that you watch the television news – or even documentaries – you will find always someone crying – so desperately and heartedly – and the tears just flow! No one is wiping the tears – and even the Interviewer does not stop for the person to compose himself – or wipe his or her tears! It is very sad, tragic and pathetic – to unbelievable levels!

Images – Tears!

We are supposed to be human beings from the word humane – but though we may kid ourselves that we do care and feel – the truth is far from the distance. It is all a sham – a façade – all crocodile tears! Nothing less – nothing more! Our hearts and souls have turned to solid stone!

We bow, kneel and pray to the Almighty – but it is all just routine mundane stuff – if just following customs blindly – but there is nothing of real value and esteem in it! Perhaps we are naïve to think that God does not see what is in our hearts – forget our fellow human beings!

The other day I had gone to visit my sick and ailing younger brother in hospital. We always complain of the smaller things in life – but we do not see the bigger picture – the real true picture. We may have many issues still to sort out – but where there is a meeting of the minds and a will determined to succeed – there will always be a way out of most things in life! That you can be sure of – in one way or the other!

It is a twist and turn of life – its foibles and out comings! Because here you decide to leave the country because you have decided to marry a foreign woman as your wife! Out of all the countries of the world – you choose a woman from a country that does not allow foreigners to own land or property. A place that you will pay heavily for your medical – even with medical insurance taken – simply because you are a foreigner! And that is one way of making quick money out of you! Especially when you are sick – and have to be hospitalised!

My younger brother – but he looks far more older than the rest of us all! Sicker also! He was complaining that he did not have water for the last 27 days – not even allowed to sip water! Thanks to those in our leadership – he was finally brought back home – after the family spending heavily on his medical treatment!

Yet we still moan and complain on the small trifle things in life – never happy – nor satisfied! We want more – give us! On seeing me – my brother was crying – and there were no tissues left in the box – seems he was crying all the time! So I gave him my clean tissues which I always carry with me! So I said to him – Let me wipe your tears! Welcome back home – my brother! A second time? Or was it a third time? I forget – important is that you are back home now!

I watch the television news. The refugee woman from Eritrea – and others from Darfur – she is crying – uncontrollably – nonstop! The tears drain down her face. The interviewer does not stop – at least to allow her to wipe her tears! Or compose herself first – before continuing! I wish I was there – because I would wipe her tears – or give her my clean tissues (and handkerchief!) with me! I would also want to ask her – What did you expect Madam?

These people have mistreated the ‘original owners’ of the land – what did you expect as a refugee – and an ‘illegal’ one too that entered the country through the back door! Did you not have freedom at home – even if hungry? Here you have no freedom and still hungry – and disgraced too on top! She was crying – My husband has been imprisoned – and my children are without! Perhaps she did not see in television so many tears and sad faces of the once who owned the land and property! They are in the land – yet crying too!

That is before other human beings from faraway places decided to move them out – to make space for their guilt of allowing the holocaust to take place – and over 6 million fellow human beings butchered and slaughtered in cold blood! Yet from the same people that are now making others cry – and wanting to preserve our ethnicity and originality imposed on others! How sad, tragic and pathetic human beings have become! Yet God still is graceful and patient – hearing his name being called in vain!

Then there is man in Mali. His hand had been chopped off – because he was suspected of stealing bread! Bread for my limb? By people determined to be more religious and observing to him – and he needed to be given a lesson! Then ‘non-believers of his sort’ come in – and the man is celebrating – to see the more observing ones being chased out to the mountains and valleys!

The woman is crying! Her husband has been killed in jail – because he threw stones at the occupiers! What if he was armed with a gun? What would his punishment have been? Even if you are in my house – my land? The East Africans say – Let him pass – the one with mightier strength! It is not a question of rights and ethics – it is just how strong you are – and where you derive your support from! The stronger the support – the more aggressive and bully you can be! Forget the rest!

Have you ever imagined this? The child is asking the mother – Why are those planes bombing us, Mummy? Are they enemy planes over our land? What does the Mother do in reply? Poor woman – she just cries! And it is the young child that now calms the mother – more braver and courageous now – Do not cry Mother! God will make those planes go away!

Because of the economy – no job – no takers! The one who lost her home? Her husband committed suicide in shame! She too is crying! Then the suicide bomber who believes he is on his way to heaven! He murders fellow believers – because he is more right and more perfect compared to others that have deviated – and need to be given a lesson of life for the deviation!

It is always the poor needy and desperate peoples that are used to kill fellow human beings that are also poor and needy like him! Puppets over a string! Those behind the scene – the schemers and the plotters – no one sees them – except of course God – and the punishment on earth – the punishment of the grave – and eternal fire and damnation!

Please wipe my tears! Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

Between Us Only!: Short Takes – Two! Reply

BOOK PROMOTIONAL TEXT

Title: Between Us Only!: Short Takes – Two!

Author: Majid Al Suleimany

Publisher Create Space USA

BOOK 2 Cover

Book Cover

Sentence Description

Back again for the next installment in his critically-acclaimed series, Majid Al Suleimany offers a new collection of articles that deal with the delicate matters that many are scared to touch.

Short Description

Back again for the next installment in his critically acclaimed series, Majid Al Suleimany offers a new collection of articles that deal with the delicate matters that many are scared to touch. Adapted from his successful newspaper column in The Oman Daily Observer, the enlightening and educational articles of Between Us Only!: Short Takes – Two! cover everything from human suffering and social trends to divorce and prejudice. Touching on some of the social evils prevalent in today’s society, this fantastic collection uses a mixture of witty observations and heavy blows to get its point across. A labor of love filled with keen observations on twenty-first-century society, this insightful book carries priceless warnings, resentments, fears, and advice for readers everywhere.

The varied and honest new collection of articles cover a multitude of topics, from lighthearted and entertaining stories to serious topics based off of universal societal issues. Full of interesting and educational articles and stories, this wonderful book is a captivating experience, especially for readers familiar with Arab customs, traditions, heritages, and legacies.

Developed from weekly columns Al Suleimany writes, Between Us Only! follows up on the success of the previous books in the series and furthers the idea of private talks between friends on matters that many are too scared to touch. Often times delving into topics that aren’t always sweet, this enlightening book uses a clear and elegant prose to explore social evils in society as well as their lighthearted counterparts.

Extended Description

Back again for the next installment in his critically acclaimed series, Majid Al Suleimany offers a new collection of articles that deal with the delicate matters that many are scared to touch. Adapted from his successful newspaper column in The Oman Daily Observer, the enlightening and educational articles of Between Us Only!: Short Takes – Two! cover everything from human suffering and social trends to divorce and prejudice. Touching on some of the social evils prevalent in today’s society, this fantastic collection uses a mixture of witty observations and heavy blows to get its point across. A labor of love filled with keen observations on twenty-first-century society, this insightful book carries priceless warnings, resentments, fears, and advice for readers everywhere.

The varied and honest new collection of articles cover a multitude of topics, from lighthearted and entertaining stories to serious topics based off of universal societal issues. Full of interesting and educational articles and stories, this wonderful book is a captivating experience, especially for readers familiar with Arab customs, traditions, heritages, and legacies.

A fantastic read for everyone from CEOs to students, Between Us Only! offers insightful and illuminating articles based off of a variety of topics that even apply to children, teenagers, and grandparents. Filled with varied topics that will entertain and inform readers of all backgrounds and walks of life, this eclectic collection will engross as it inspires and provides a wide range of knowledge on a multitude of important topics.

Developed from weekly columns Al Suleimany writes, Between Us Only! follows up on the success of the previous books in the series and furthers the idea of private talks between friends on matters that many are too scared to touch. Often times delving into topics that aren’t always sweet, this enlightening book uses a clear and elegant prose to explore social evils in society as well as their lighthearted counterparts. Covering a variety of priceless topics, this wonderful collection of articles gives readers everywhere a glimpse into the issues that are prevalent in today’s society.

Majid Al Suleimany has over twenty-five years of experience as a human resources specialist and over ten years of experience as a management and human resources consultant, expert, and advisor. For the past eight years, he has written weekly columns in The Oman Daily Observer, an English daily, which has led to three published books based off of his columns. He has recently expanded to a new column, At the Workplace. Al Suleimany has also published two other books on Arab management – www.myown-ebooks.com .

Back Cover Text

Back again for the next installment in his critically acclaimed series, Majid Al Suleimany offers a new collection of articles that deal with the delicate matters that many are scared to touch. Adapted from his successful newspaper column in The Oman Daily Observer, these enlightening and educational articles cover everything from human suffering and social trends to divorce and prejudice. Touching on some of the social evils prevalent in today’s society, this fantastic collection uses a mixture of witty observations and heavy blows to get its point across. A labor of love filled with keen observations on twenty-first-century society, this insightful book carries priceless warnings, resentments, fears, and advice for readers everywhere.

Al Suleimany has over twenty-five years of experience as a human resources specialist and over ten years of experience as a management and human resources consultant, expert, and advisor. For the past eight years, he has written weekly columns in The Oman Daily Observer, an English daily, which has led to three published books based off of his columns. He has recently expanded to a new column entitled, At the Workplace. Al Suleimany has also published two other books on Arab management. He began writing at age fourteen and has since developed a new approach that he feels is “direct from the heart.” Al Suleimany holds a master’s in international management. For more information on him, please visit www.myown-ebooks.com and www.majidbooks.com.

Author Biography

Majid Al Suleimany has over twenty-five years of experience as a human resources specialist and over ten years of experience as a management and human resources consultant, expert, and advisor. For the past eight years, he has written weekly columns in The Oman Daily Observer, an English daily, which has led to three published books based off of his columns. He has recently expanded to a new column entitled, At the Workplace.

Al Suleimany has also published two other books on Arab management. He began writing at age fourteen and has since developed a new approach that he feels is “direct from the heart.” Al Suleimany holds a master’s in international management. He is married and has three daughters and a son. For more information on him, please visit www.myown-ebooks.com and www.majidbooks.com.

First Person Author Biography

I have over twenty-five years of experience as a human resources specialist and over ten years of experience as a management and human resources consultant, expert, and advisor. For the past eight years, I have written weekly columns in The Oman Daily Observer, an English daily, which has led to three published books based off of my columns. I have recently expanded to a new column entitled, At the Workplace.

I have also published two other books on Arab management. I began writing at age fourteen and have since developed a new approach that I feel is “direct from the heart.” I hold a master’s in international management. I am married and have three daughters and a son. For more information, please visit www.myown-ebooks.com and www.majidbooks.com.

First Person Author Biography

I am a weekly columnist with The Oman Daily Observer and with a master’s in international management.

The Foreign Angle! Reply

For Wednesday February 6th 2013

Between Us Only!

The Foreign Angle!

Please bear with me whilst I connect the dots!

Case 1 – Some years ago in my visit to that distant land my late Uncle was visibly very upset that I had decided to stay in a hotel – instead at staying at his place. The poor man had built an outside room with an adjoining toilet and kitchen – even running flush water toilet – in the hope and expectancy that some of us here would decide to stay at his house! Compared to other houses around – his house was in better shape, standard and condition compared to them. He ruefully asked me – those 25 dollars you pay daily – how much I would have enjoyed receiving them – instead of the hotel! Incidentally, the hotel was owned by one public official – but that is another story for now!

Affectionate Couple - Isolated

Mixed Marriage 2

So to please him I decided to stay a few days at his place. My real reasons not wanting to stay with them is not inconveniencing them – like the first time I did when they started looking for ‘good rice’ for me – though I would have preferred the local dishes instead – but they thought I was kidding – and just wanted to protect them!

I saw one large (chicken) cock in the place – and too late I realised these were the same ‘stock and barrel’ of the homeland – because I got very angry the next day when it was brought for my meal! I had admired it on its beauty ‘as alive’ – and not as a meal! That tells a lot of going to Omani (descendants) houses and praise things – because of this fear of ‘the red eye’ element. Something those in Oman long for even expatriates would know about!

Mixed Marriage 1

Mixed Marriages 1 – From My Book – Between Us Only! – Short Takes! – www.myown-ebooks.com

Early in the morning I was awoken with a pot of steaming hot coffee and a few dried up (in bad shape) dates – because of what I first thought was me being from Oman customs and traditions – especially in the Interior. So I secretly checked out with the housemaid if this was so – and she curtly replied that as far as she knew – this was an ongoing tradition of the house! Including the element of speaking in Arabic when we were alone – and strange the dialect because some local words were added in the speaking – like calling a hill as ‘mlima’ – a typical 100% Swahili word for that matter!

I guess when they will ever come here we need to follow the Israeli ways of doing things – when they bring their own – from distant places – for ‘orientation’ – and the poor Palestinians meanwhile still remaining as refugees – 50 years on! But that too is for another day!

Case 2 – A long time ago – when my Consultancy was still alive – I went with my Indian Assistant lady to make a presentation for our business proposal for one reputable firm in town. The owner was a previous high profile figure – and it was very disappointing – because he thought I could not ‘hear’ Hindi – after establishing what were my roots and ethnicity! I studied in Indian schools from class 1 to Form 6 there! The man was saying nasty things like ‘what did I know about Management and HR – and he thought I was a ‘signing-off’ only GM – but the Indian lady did all the stuff. I wrote about this many times before!

Mixed Marriage 3

Case 3…. I had sent about my books to many local newspapers – only this one and another one positively responded! In the others – I have seen so many coverages by others – for even lesser issues – and especially if they are pretty foreign looking ladies personalities – and with due respects and apologies. Yet these same places always talk ‘big’ about national issues – at least in print!

Case 4…. I am in this shopping mall – and I see this excited local boy running to his friends – excitedly – There is a European saleslady in that shop! And they all gang up together – to go and see her – and buy some expensive sweets that they do not really want – and or have never tasted before!

In the shopping mall – do not forget I was young once – and had the roving eye too! She was pretty – yes! But there were far more prettier girls from other albeit other foreign nationalities – but frankly the young local girls were equally – and if even not more too! But this did not excite them – in the least! The colonial hangovers just do not want to disappear here!

A Wake Up Call! When are we going to wake up from this deep slumber – these jealousies, envies, personalities and polarisation things? It seems we see things – but still yet do not see – hear things but yet do not hear – and even let not others to speak too! Those days of scaring, control, subjugation and domination are long gone – but we still live like ostriches to the ground!

The truth is we have many of our own that we should value and esteem first of all. Prioratise and uphold in values! It does not mean ignoring and or belittling the others – especially the ‘invited guests and residents’ – but the truth is that many of us still feel impotent and useless – and as if I suspect that a real problem exists in the mind set of us many Arabs: That we do not feel that we are owners of our own purpose, destiny, legacy and future – and either lack the confidence and will power – and or just the evil selfish inward looking that is driving – and controlling us too!

You will excuse me too – for more than a month now – I have been writing on just normal and casual issues. It took the case of my very sick brother there now – after leaving the country to stay with his foreign wife abroad – that made me wake up – to the terrible truth! This is a double edged sword – but for my poor brother marrying another foreigner – when we had all the pretty decent local girls here – and the other side of the coin – getting into difficulties – because you just married a foreigner – and it is you the Omani that has to leave your country – if you want to stay with her! We lose the children too – even if they are half Omanis – for that matter!

When will we wake up and learn? Before it is too late? I am really – really tired now! Allah God Protect and Preserve us all – Amin – Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

Let Us Pray! Reply

 Wednesday February 6th 2013

Between Us Only!

Let Us Pray!

Continuing on the series from last one of Family Pressures! This time – Let Us Pray!

The other day I got a missed phone call from one person outside Oman. I did not receive the call and it went missed. The people there have a tendency of calling you in ‘missed call’ format – and expect you to call back! I did not recognise the number – and typical I nowadays just did not bother to call back. The next day the number was still there – again missed.

Whilst I was debating with myself whether I should call back – the number rang – and this time incessantly and long! So I gathered enough courage and sort of said Hello. He replied to me in Arabic – which was really unusual – and just said – please call me back – without saying who he was!

 Prayers 2

Prayers 2

Again I ignored the call. Then a message came through – again strangely in Arabic. Please call me. I am your Uncle… but no name given! This time I was determined and was about to switch off my mobile when as if he knew what I was asking – said who he was! A sort of uncle in ranks – being a close friend of my late father when we were there! I had no alternative – except to call – and finding already what excuse and ruse to use this time to say I had no money to send – which is the truth anyway! But people simply cannot believe that this can happen to an Author!

If you do not believe me – come to the house and see the boxes and boxes of books of books returned from the bookshops – with the tags still on! I cannot blame them – they have been extra nice and patient with me to keep on storing my books – but the time had come to part ways. The shock was ‘we are now only storing novels, magazines and sweets – because people simply do not buy now serious books – and no one (or few) buy any book that goes over OMR 5 – yes – that is the cut out rate in our literacy drive!

Prayers 3

Prayers 3

Anyway – poor Uncle related – asks me if I know of a certain family now in Oman? I ask him why? He retorts – do you or don’t you? Thank God to our upbringing – I keep my manners and respect on! Then he tells me! This family has ignored their relative here that is dying in hospital. He is calling out for them when he could speak! Now he is in a coma – and is not expected to recover! I have heard those stories before – and people did recover! I have also heard of the story of one old lady recovering and doing well – only to hear she died next morning!

Just imagine how God loves us! He has not given us the secret of when, how and where we will die – otherwise the world will turn turtle – upside down – and moving from one house to another in saying goodbyes! And perhaps few would even venture to build or invest? Or could it be the opposite? I do not know – I am just like you – not knowing either these secrets!

Then he says – please tell them to come and see him! Then I ask him – Uncle why they do not want to come? He goes silent – you can almost hear the debate going on! Then he goes Religious – about talking on someone – backbiting – and he is not there to defend himself!

 Prayers 1

Prayers 1

The real reasons are not important. But let us say they may be at least 60% strong reasons for not wanting to do so! There is still 40% – being your parent – and your blood too! The East Africans say continuously too – blood is thicker than water! Would one still be very angry with your parent – that he is dying and being looked by others – even if related – but you related – and even more related – do not want still go and see him – even as he is dying – he has begged you to forgive him – and see him before he breathes his last?

Where are our hearts now – all turned to stones! I have heard of these things happening – but never realised that they are real – and can happen in real life too! That is why our Religious Leaders should talk more on our everyday lives – and its aspects – and how to live in this world with the others – even from different faiths and places too!

That family and child that ended in you being insulted by your boss – suffered all kinds of insults and ridicules – subjugation and controls – yet there is simply no guarantee or security for you in the future – especially if you become very sick – and dependent on others – as a pariah and as a parasite!

The problems that the world is facing now are this determination and will to impose one’s measurements and outlooks on others! So-called Religious people have become Politicians – and the Politicians have become religious! Everyone is correct, ethical, The other is ‘branding and name-calling’ of others – and as if ‘butter will not melt’ in themselves of their mouths fiascos – ‘angels, good and nice peoples’ – whilst others are not!

That is why we are in so much troubles and problems now! The situation has gone so bad that materialism, individualism, subjectiveness, consumerism and selfishness have stepped in. Hearts have just turned to stones – solid ones too! Including lack of care, feelings – touch and humanity even! That is why as I had said before – Let Us Pray! Amin Amen!

Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

Posted at: www.majidall.com and at www.majidwrite.com

Families’ Pressures! 2

For Sunday February 3rd 2013

Between Us Only!

Families Pressures!

There is something that I will share with you today that I have not disclosed before – apart from what I had already said before that as far as I am concerned I feel that people in family relationships and their interfaces is where people misbehave badly and inappropriately – after the Offices environments! From the same behaviours, attitudes, focuses and approaches from the office environments – that a few Baizas more in your pockets make you think that you are unique and special – and you can afford and do look down on those less fortunate than you – or are just struggling to keep their heads above water!

Family 2

Families Image 2

When it comes to family relationships – this is a more bitter pill to swallow – however sugar coated – and it is more hurtful and painful than the offices’ environments – because here in family relationships you expect better treatment and results – especially if you have been a family member that liked your family – and have actually contributed in more ways than one!

What hurts more is the patronising, condescending, marginalising and belittling approaches, attitudes and focuses – and even coming from junior ranks (by birth) – and just because they are making money now – and you have long stopped doing so!

Family 3

Image Families 3

You may not ask for favours and or for special treatment – but this does not change anything in outlooks and perspectives! It is as if you secretly do – but do not want to show yourself openly and publicly that you do!

When I went on Hajj a few years ago – I had called all my children and family together and gave them written Instructions – a will type of thing – in case I do not return alive from the Hajj. It is part of the rituals and requirements of Hajj anyway to do so!

During the 1960s after independence of Tanzania – our late parents sold everything we had in Mafia Island – and moved over to Zanzibar – only to return penniless after the bloody revolution of 1964 back to our previous island of Mafia. A lot of family members that had not moved had a field day to see that once that well off family (not really rich) had returned hungry and desperate! One of our uncles had vacated one of his houses to accommodate us.

It was a very difficult and hard time for us in the family – that is why many of us ‘explode’ when some miscreants want to include us in the categories and groupings that they think we fit – instead of us letting decide for ourselves – what we really want for us – which is that being from the stock of the family that went to Africa to look for a living at the darkest time of our history – we have returned back home! Nothing more – and nothing less!

Family 4

Family 1

Image Families 1

I then vowed that from the first day I started to work – I will give my full salaries to my late Father. That night I could hear my late father sob – so being naïve and not knowing – I asked my late mother why was dead crying yesterday night – and she said – son – you made him cry because of what you did!

What I wanted to share with you also is this element that I am now a happy at home retired person – and under no pressures – family and or otherwise – to find jobs for the teenagers out of high school and colleges – and especially as my job was in Human Resources (HR)!

It came at a just right time with the increased pressures now! I remembered clearly my last nasty experience was a family relative from the home town insisting he wanted a job that ‘must pay him at least minimum 350 OMR’ – otherwise he will stay at home – though he just finished secondary school with low passes averages! Years later he was still looking for that salary – and hopping from one job to another in his pursuits!

The worst part in family relationships is when people play with their lives in making hasty wrong awful decisions with serious consequences and repercussions – and expect family members to salvage and bail them out – and sometimes it is never ending – from one saga to another – and still expect the same results. I forget now who said it – but a stupid person is one who makes the same decisions – time and time again – and expecting different results the next time!

People have their own lives – and their own direct families to look after – and sometimes there are a lot of shows and facades of ‘families being together’ – but it is the anathema of outsiders that they are more concerned about – rather than really being together. People are real good actors – and actresses!

Nowadays I feel great and elated – away from all these pressures – especially job related ones! The Westerners and The Expatriates in our land do not realise and appreciate on these pressures being placed on us the locals – and they look at us – weigh us – according to their own outlooks and whims! The concept of extended family is something they do know exists in society – but just pretend not to notice and or feel it! The ironical and sad part is that some of the expatriates are even worse off than us in these regards – but put on a brave front and façade that they are still different!

Sometimes the situation can go to real across the borders and extremes – not only being cursed behind your back – or even in front – but being treated like a pariah – and even be discommunicated, debarred and excluded as a family member anymore – by the same judge, jury and executor! Family pressures can really be daunting and damning – however careful and watchful one can be!

Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

Posted at: www.majidall.com and at www.majidwrite.com

Suspicious Minds! By Majid Al Suleimany Reply

Between Us Only!

Suspicious Minds!

Why can’t you see
What you’re doing to me
When you don’t believe a word I say?

We can’t go on together
With suspicious minds
And we can’t build our dreams
On suspicious minds….

Lyrics – Suspicious Minds – Elvis Presley

The other day I was watching this movie in one of the rented channels in Orbit Showtime Network. I miss the title now – but it is a film where these Hispanics in USA are throwing a family Christmas party – and the family has gathered from all the parts of the world to be at this family gathering – including one veteran serving in Iraq.

Suspicious Minds

Suspicious Minds – Argue Time – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

As the party progresses – the Father asks to be excused when he receives a call in his mobile. When he returns the mother throws a bombshell – and tells the family that she is looking for a divorce from the father. The mother has already concluded that the ‘man is cheating’ – that is why he took the call away from the family!

The party goes into disarray and acute confusion – with almost all the children supporting the mother against ‘bad man husband father’! Turns of events later prove that the man was talking to his female doctor – who had called in to confirm the devastating blow news that the man had cancer.

Suspicious 2

Suspicious Minds – Argue Time – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

But all the time the Father was hiding it from the family – especially at the festive season. When he is asked later on why he did not reveal the truth – even after the threatened divorce – the man lamely says it was because ‘perhaps that is what your Mother wanted – to make herself happy – away from me! He continues – Perhaps this way she would learn to cope better after I am gone – and as I have few months to live anyway. Who am I to stand in the way of what she wanted – and in her happiness?

Suspicious 3

Suspicious Minds – Argue Time – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

That brings me to the following points that I wish to make here now: –

  • In all the cases in fights between fathers and mothers – by natural inclinations that the mother is the mother – the angel in the house – she is right always – and fathers are always wrong!
  • It is amazing (shocking!) how children always side with the mothers immediately – even if they could be wrong!
  • Few remain neutral – or tend to give at least some grounds for suspicions to be proved that the father is wrong.
  • Men continue to take these abuses unabated – as if it is part of the job requirements to be the husband and the father too – and even grandfathers and so on!
  • Fathers and husbands suffer quietly – they have no support – because many are already marked guilty ‘to be hanged’ – by the same jury, judge and prosecutor – that is the mother, wife and majority of the siding children – and grandchildren!
  • Even the grandchildren join in! Last week I bought a gift for one of my granddaughters’ birthday party – and when teased who bought this for you – she replied grandmother!
  • I do not know why such questions need to be asked – why not leave it anonymous!
  • Fathers and husbands deserve and need to be given more credits and support than what they are getting now!
  • This week is Fathers and Husbands turn – last week it was me defending the Mothers and the Housewives – article titled ‘Desperate Housewives’.
  • To the fans that complained – see I listened!

Happy New Prosperous Safe Peaceful Year 2013!

Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany