Ending Relationships in Life! Reply

For Thursday – May 30th 2013.

Between Us Only!

Ending Relationships in Life!

  • I propose that we abandon our relations entirely. I shall lose nothing by it, for my own emotional tie with you has long been a thin thread – the lingering effects of past disappointments – Letter from Dr. Freud to Discipline Jung in association relationships breakup in 1913.
  • It is not you – it is all me! – Famous Break Up Line!

Freud Jung

Image Dr. Freud and Jung – 1913.

Life is about making choicessometimes you are required to make extremely hard and difficult decisions in your options – stick to one and move forward in your life now in that direction – and fight as best as you can – even against great odds – not to waver or change! It is not an easy thing to do – but you know deep down in your heart – and in deep self-analysis and review – in deep conscience analysis – that this is the only right path and thing to do now!

There are many circumstances that can bring your life to a jolt that you need to make that brave decision now in your life! You might have suspected or even known for a long time that the person is not your real friend – or is not in your true interests, intentions and well-being – but you have been going along because you are impotent and weak to make the brave and courageous decision to break this relationship for good!

It maybe you had trusted this person so much to have been on your side – but all the time he was working against you from the inside – or even in front of you – but the eyes cannot see; the ears cannot hear; and the mouth cannot even speak out. You end as the person most blind, deaf and mute – and end as a trusting stupid incompetent bumbling stupid person – who has failed miserably in life to stand for oneself – and those that have relied and depended on you for doing the right, correct, ethical and professional thing – even if the repercussions could be dangerous and harmful to one. The question then props in – Are you a man or a mouse?

Relationship A

Quarrel between men and women

Images – Breaking Relationships – Most hard and painful!

Images For Demonstration Purposes Only!

A long time ago, when I was a kid – my late father – let him rest in peace – was introducing me to what he thought was his close business friend and associate! My father hardly spoke any English – and this man was insulting my father in front of my very eyes! As a kid, I was so scared of my father that I never dared to tell him this!

At this time also – my poor father had taken the wrong side in life by not supporting the locals there in their hopes and aspirations to become independent from the colonial masters – and he was very close in friendships to the much despised and hated then colonial DC – District Commissioner!

Relationship 1 Relationship 2

Images Relationships! – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

Wherever this DC moved – people had to stop doing everything they were doing and stand up. I was playing marbles with my friends – and continued playing and ignoring him – whilst my friends froze to death in their tracks! The DC wanted to know who this boy belonged to? When he was told it was my father – he told me – You are lucky that you are your father’s son – otherwise you would see what would have happened to you today!

That night my father reprimanded me – and for the first time in his life he showed me his true wisdom and pragmatism. He said to me – I understand what that man said to you. But so what? Do not think that what I am doing is not wrong – but I gain more by being his friend (DC) than by going against him. I am also able to sell more of my things in the shop than the other shopkeepers – even if their shops are more stocked and bigger than mine. I feel the air – and if I see the changes coming that will make me need to change – believe me I will change too fast – even if it will be very hard, challenging and difficult in the beginning! But change I will – I assure you!

Whilst he (DC) is still here – he will still be my friend. The friendship works for both of us meanwhile – he needs me – and I need him! He may think I am a gullible, stupid, naive and unsuspecting person – but I could say the same things to him! So the next time he comes around – there is no harm to stop playing – and going with the tide!

Remember he cautioned – going against the tide will drown you! Even if I have inside me full contempt and ridicule of the person – I will not show it to him openly – because I will end as the bigger loser! And why do it – when things are working out for me – by going this route? I will remain on this route as far as is bearable and tolerable!

Relationship 3 Relationship 4

Images Relationships – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

I never appreciated much what my poor dad had told me until further far more years in life when in Secondary School and we learnt about Okonkwo in Things Fall Apart! by Chinua Achebe – the great Author – who had died was buried recently! Then I realised how pragmatic, smart and intelligent my late father really was!

When the wind for change came in – my late father was the local council member looking after food in the place’s Independence celebrations – now their friend too! He had changed sides with the strong forces of change! Sadly, I never put this in practise in my career life – though my pragmatic peers did – and my misfortune in life! Mistakenly, I thought being transparent, frank and open was a better option for me!

In one of the films I saw long time back, these villages in Europe were hoisting the flags of the conquering and invading Nazi Germany! When the Allied Forces came in – they waved their flags instead – with exception of one ‘slow’ person who still had the Nazi flag – but harm was prevented to him when it was realised it was so. He was a happier person to get new colour flags – and that tells a very big story here of what really is at stake in life! And in relationships!

These things go down to even a lower level in our own lives – in our personal lives and associations too! The other day a good relative of ours came to our house – and so how granny was playing around with his grandchildren. Then he said to me – You are a lucky person – but you do not know it really! You see for me though I have grandchildren too – but I just woke up one day and I had decided then to end the relationships with my wife after 35 years of marriage.

Close up of young couple fighting

Image – Ending of Relationships!

He says to me – All this time I was naive and dreamful that she would change one day – but change she never did! It was no point in continuing the relationships any further – but I had to be strong willed and determined not to waver and change – though the temptations came many times to do so – I tell you! Any regrets I ask him? He retorts – Only like now seeing you playing with your grandchildren – and all as one in the family!

May Allah God Always Guide and Direct us to the right path and way – Amin – Amen

Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

All Not Arranged! Marriages in Turmoil! Reply

All Not Arranged! Marriages in Turmoil!

For Wednesday October 3rd 2012

My Other Websites –

www.majidall.com & www.majidwrite.com (New)

Between Us Only!

All Not Arranged!

Or Different Perspectives & Outlooks! – Different Priorities!

Being all alone at home now – that is most of the times – one can be really surprised of how many ideas you can get for your columns – by simply watching the Television set – because it is supposed to depict the realities and facts on the ground – whilst you watch the unfolding scenes from the comfort of your cosy reclining chair – without a care or mind for the rest of the world – but you and the television set only! It is really amazing how many things one can still learn from this television set on human dramas, vanities, foibles, and malaise – and all over the places now!

I have now compiled all my works into two new different books – which are now under publication – including the Road Safety Novel book – Behind The Wheel! – www.bethesafedriver.com This is one’s man keen interest, drive and objective to get involved in – and write about in Road Safety as his contribution to the society. My other two books carry all the articles – post earlier Between Us Only! series. More details are here at my new website www.majidwrite.com – which will also carry all my columns here too – from now on!

There is this beautiful programme about Cyprus – Island of Forbidden Love. The programme looks at what happens when romance cuts across religious lines amongst mainly Lebanese couples. According to legend – the island of Cyprus is known as the ‘birthplace of Aphrodite – the Greek goddess of love’. When love crosses the religious divide – Cyprus becomes a favoured destination for many Lebanese couples – seeking civil unions and marriages! One of those men being portrayed laments – Sunni, Christian, Druze, and Shia – we are in it all together – and there is simply no sect in love!

Images Cyprus

I have now also a lot of time for reading – and that includes rereading my own five books – all over again! Not to blow my own trumpet – sometimes I wonder if it was all done by me! But I guess when you are angry and sad too at the same time – and you speak truthfully from your own heart to others – there should be no surprises – what comes out here!

I also read in detail the newspapers and the magazines that I subscribe too! One of the jobs that had crossed my mind was to be a Counsellor – Advisor – Psychologist – or as they are sometimes referred to in pun as ‘Shrinks’! In one of the distress columns, I have noticed that we tend to ignore the problems being faced by the Expatriate communities in our midst – in their strive and struggle to adjust to our ways and lives – and to make meaningful and worthwhile their continued stay here.

I, for one, need to be frank to admit that I have not really paid full attention to their distress and plights in my concentration focus for jobs and employment for the youth – their training, recruitment, placement and development. Like most of us, we seem to wrongly think that they are here to take our jobs – our own youth – and to deny us entries to what should come – rightly and naturedly – to us – and in our desires and wishes for our own destiny, legacy and future – as future generations will judge us – and history too – on what we do now – or not do – and or advertently and or in inaction!

Every day we hear on some expatriates that have committed suicides – because they cannot take it anymore. I have said this too in the past. In one of my weakest moments in life when things did not seem to work – and everything was going against me – family included – I thank my God and my Religion – because it stopped me from doing really nasty and unexpected things in life. I now realise that I did put wrong emphasis and priorities on the wrong things in my life – rather than as my late good Mother used to tell us – peace be upon her – First is Always You! Then You! Then You Again. Then Others….let them make their own queue to you!

I am giving the same free advice to the especially expatriate wives that write in to the Marriage Counsellors and Advisors – about the problems that they face with their spouses. Few even to me! In many of the cases, the marriages are arranged – and the husband – has not given enough impetus and importance to get to know well his wife – his children even – and what she likes – what she does not like – and what makes her tick – or not! They live in the same house – though married to each other – but as complete strangers!

Mistakenly like most of us men – and with some exceptions – even some women like football – whilst the men watch dramas! We just think that bringing in the money is all important and only counts – if here – or worse scenario – send to homes across borders. In one of the Hindi films – I forgot the name – the wife was lamenting – You think bringing in the checks is all that counts – what about me? Do you think of me? Maybe the children – but certainly not me!

Frankly, there are many expatriate ladies out there that are really qualified experienced professionals – as I found when I still had my Consultancy years ago. In some cases – if they were working they could earn even three or four times the take home pay of their spouses! Sad this avenue and resource is not tapped into! Yet the husbands think still pleasing the boss – in many cases expatriates too – by staying in back ‘for artificial deceptive pretense invented works’ is far better than after looking at his wife – and even the children.

No wonder the poor ladies write in – even if anonymously – because they just had enough – or about too! When they start thinking of committing suicides – because of the phobia and dread of returning home to their families away from the husbands – then something has got to give. Like I always say – what is the point of having more money, promotions and statuses – when things fall apart – and break up in front of you? Money is not everything – family, humanity and values are!

May The Good Lord Direct us all to The Right Path Always – Amin Amen

Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

www.majidwrite.com – My New Website. Reply

www.majidwrite.com – My New Website.

Dear All & After Compliments;

Created today this more simpler version will also accommodate all my twice weekly columns in The Oman Daily Observer. The Columns appear every Sunday and Wednesday!

Happy Surfing!

Best Wishes and Regards,

Majid Al Suleimany