‘Insulting and Annoying Relatives’! 2

For Sunday – July 21st 2013.

Between Us Only!

Insulting ‘Relatives’!

If the writing is honest it cannot be separated from the man who wrote it. Tennessee Williams

We are already moving towards the centre half of the fasting holy month of Ramadhan – and as if we had just started fasting from yesterday – that is the blessings of the holy month for us all to see, recognise and admire! I watch the sermons after the Tarawih prayers in Mecca in Saudi Arabia – and the Priest calling for special duas and prayers for lots of suffering followers in different parts of the world – and sadly that some of them cannot even fast because of the wars of attrition and destructions – and the ensuing poltical and social upheavals in others. As the angels fly at night – they too may even cry – let alone human beings alone!

Today I want to concentrate on family problems and issues that may have already affected some of us – or possibly may affect others – if not already! As a small boy I used to be a loner and keep to myself – and those who have read my books or columns may recognise and remember that there were many unhappy and sad events and happenings in my life – not only serious and threatening – but nearly brought me to my early death and grave. You can find a good source from my article – The Glass Is Bent! – in my earlier website of www.betweenusonly.com or from my books!

Family 1 Family 2

Images – Family – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

In many of my columns articles,  I have said the very same thing – in that after The Offices environments – there is no other place where people are most crude, abrupt and misbehave than in family relationships – ties, associationship and interfaces! I have noticed too when I wanted to make a list of people who have annoyed and upset me immensely for special treatment of learning hard and in difficulties to forgive in life – even if the forgetting part may take longer – or not at all. It can be very hard and difficult – but one must bring oneself to do so – because an ‘eye for an eye’ will end up in all being blind in the end! So what is the added value and advantage in this?

There is a famous Chinese expression that says – If you are out to build a grave for your enemy – then dig two graves – and keep one for yourself! Because in the ensuing fights you too may end as a casualty and fatality – and need the second grave too! Though I must admit it is not easy to do so, one must go for the high road – and there is no better example to copy and emulate than our own Great Prophet – Pbuh! When he rode victorious into Mecca – some of the people that had caused him great harm and injury came even from his own relatives and folks – but he did not retaliate – or take revenge from anyone – and that had ended in the growth and rise of converts to become Muslims – with some that went to other parts of the world to spread the word of Islam – from the very same people that waged war against it in the past!

As a young child – I was a boy that avoided fights with others – boys being boys! A few months before his death – my late father was observing and commenting to me on Eid day in my house – I see all others getting continuous phone calls and messages – but you hardly receive any – poor M – like a child and still the same as an elder – no friends still! He meant it in a very good way – but though  the others took it wrongly that they were being complimented! That is the twists and ironies of life – and also its beauty and striking features in conversity too!

Family 3 Family 4

Images – Family – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

In our large family members there was bound to be some individual members that were aggressive and bullies to others – as their chosen patterns and behavior traits and characteristics. It is not a question of being a coward or being a weak person – but I always believed that in running away from such people – you avoid fights from their intrusive and penetrative behaviours to others – and you live to fight other battles in the future! I am trying my best to be witty here – and I do know that I am failing badly!

In the few and isolated cases that when I had decided to make a stand – and be ready for a fight – when all cautions and warnings prior have been ignored and passed the red lines – I was reprimanded that I was the eldest – and should show by example and deeds as the elder and leader – and not to get involved in the ensuing fights that were bound to happen!

This later part used to confuse and hurt me a lot – and as a kid I used to think that my parents did not like me – but they liked and preferred more The Aggressors than me! It took me a very long time to understand this – and The Puppy incident of following me to the mosque far years later made me understand and appreciate – as my late father was saying towards me – that if you play with puppies – they will follow you to the mosque – because for the puppy it is just a building for them!

?????????????? Family A

Images – Family – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

Some years back, we had a relative from that distant land  – and who had stayed with us for quite awhile! We tried all our best to welcome them – and giving them the  best that we could offer – and even going without and beyond too! Like in most families there will always be these tell-tale family members – people that tike pride and pleasures in causing rifts and divisions in people! The same peoples are very happy to see divisions and disasters between people – even if they are related and family. Some of them maybe from the same lots too! And that is the most sad and tragic part out of it all!

When I heard the tell-tale rumours – and being such a professional HR person whose first duty and prerogative is always to distinguish the wheat from the chaff – to come to the real truth and basis of things in life – I was shocked beyond belief to get so much hurtful, intrusive and aggressive responses from some of them – and what they had thought of our reception and welcome to them! The ironical and tragic sad part was that when we went to visit them before all these things – they had invited us for lunch – but in their own hours time – which was far away from our own time – and we were literally hungry as we ate the food – but had not complained to anyone – though they knew well in advance that our lunch times were not later than 2 pm

In life you try your level best! Whether it is reciprocated and appreciated or not is not important – and even if you get insulted in the process – but you did try – and gave it your best shot! There is a famous East African saying – Do your good deed and proceed along – do not wait or expect any thanks or appreciation from anyone! They are absolutely right – and fully agree!

Take Care! Ramadhan Kareem!

By Majid Al Suleimany

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2 comments

  1. Pingback: Importance of Family! | Majidwrite – All My Columns

  2. Pingback: Why The Family Is Important? « www.majidall.com – Being who you are and saying what you really feel!

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