Pressures On Children To Excel! Reply

For Wednesday March 20th 2013

Between Us Only!

Pressures On Children To Excel!

Recently in the local news was an incident of a young Indian boy who it is alleged that had ‘forged his own kidnapping’ because he was scared stiff of his father and ‘how he would fare’ in his coming examinations! Frankly, it comes all out of watching too much television! Before we start on the topic – let us have some quotes about the children in general!

v In one Islamic tradition – our Great Prophet Muhammad – peace be upon him – ran after his grandson Hussein in a game until he caught him.

v He used to let his granddaughter Umamah sit on his shoulders while he was praying.

v When Prophet Muhammad PBUH was chided for kissing his grandchild, he responded to them – What can I do if God has deprived your heart of all human feelings?

v Prophet Muhammad SAW has been described as being very fond of children in general.

v Once, Prophet Muhammad – peace be upon him – was sitting with a child in his lap, and the child urinated over him Embarrassed, the father scolded the child.

v The Great Prophet pbuh restrained the father, and advised him: This is not a big issue. My clothes can be washed. But be careful with how you treat the child. What can restore his self-esteem after you have dealt with him in public like this?

v If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.- Albert Einstein

v Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive themOscar Wilde

v If we wish to create a lasting peace, we must begin with the childrenMahatma Ghandi

v I have a dream that my children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their characterMartin Luther King.

v Children must be taught how to think, not what to thinkMargaret Mead

v Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring and integrity, they think of you! – H. Jackson Brown Jnr.

Take it from me with my 6 brothers’ and 8 sisters’ children – over a football team Masha Allah – and grandchildren with some of them – and the ‘extended family’ that has all ‘other nationalities on board ship’ – just like Noah’s Ark – including some in Indian, Pakistani, Thai, Canadians, USA, UK, Africans, Yemenis – etc! I have no whims to share with you – if I may! I have written so many columns about children in my columns (and books) stretching over 10 years now!

Students 1

Images Students – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

A long time ago – when I visited that distant land – I met this young Professor in the University there. As we continued chatting – I realised that his father was my classmate in College there. So I asked about his father? He took me to this very ailing sick forlorn old man – who actually was my own age!

As we sat chatting and eating the local food of ugali (wheat flour), maharagwe (beans) and dried fish coconut curry – he recalled to me the incident of his son when they had a ‘very big argument’ – as he put it – because his son wanted to do Arts subject – instead of science topics – so possibly he could end as a doctor or as an Engineer (if you like Engineer jokes – with due to respects to my youngest daughter here – search for The Knack in the Internet! It is worth a smile – or ‘dry humour’ – if you will!

Students 2

Images Students – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

He said to me – I had just caught my son about to jump from the 5th floor of the flat building we were staying in company accommodation. My son had tied a big rock round his neck – so the fall could be faster. If I had delayed one minute – there would not be this son professor in front of your eyes today! So I consoled him – because he could not stop crying – even then! The son was now a Professor – and a highly acclaimed one – and happy that his choice of career and life aspects went the way he wanted them to be!

Students A

Images Students – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

This reminded me of my own case as a young boy when I was going to Secondary School and my choice of Arts subjects. Fortunately or unfortunately – our parents were not that highly educated and I had to make this delicate critical decision mostly on my own! At that time we used to have what was called as Arithmetic – before it became Mathematics – and I hated ‘figure works’ – as it was a compulsory subject for the science stream!

Students 3

Images Students – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

My father wanted for me? To become a doctor! Unfortunately we did not have even a nurse in the children – but only later with nurses – in the grandchildren! Yes there is now a lady doctor too – in the ‘extended family’ – but she is not even Omani – but Indian! But that is another story for now! So those people that tell you I am anti-Indian etc – ask them to see their shrink first! Guess what the old man would think if he knew his son is a writer instead! Sending him faster to the grave! But he died long time before even going into business!

When my son was in Secondary school he wanted to throw a party – because he had passed his exams! But there was resistance – because the first question even the Invitees would ask is – how much averages did you score? Typical Omani style questioning – even if you have later A Doctorate – because usually the people that ask the question – are themselves secondary school finalists! So Madam Wife put her foot down – ‘you got the guts to invite people with this mark? Yes my son retorted – because see any mark after mine to 90% averages – no one gets college or University – so what is the difference here? So I said son – we will all mutiny – and throw the party! My son had never forgotten to this day! Today my son earns more than twice her mother makes as an executive secretary – tongue in cheek speaking!

Iraqi students receive school supplies

Images Students – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

When I read the magazines nowadays, I find many cases – especially with due respects – of expatriate families ‘excel pressures’ on their children – and including ‘peer pressures’ too! The feelings are genuine and sincere as parents want best for their children always – but sometimes – or many times – the children think differently – and have their own likes and prioraties!

Today my daughter is an Engineer – though if you ask me frankly I would think she could make a very good Human Resources Manager – because unalike me she is very enduring and patient with people – and a good study of character and personality than ever I can claim to be – especially now less patient with being diabetic and eyes sick! Small things makes me explode now!

School Kids Diversity

Images Students – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

Frankly, in my mind – there is nothing like talking to each other and trying to accommodate and reach compromises – and meeting of the minds. Rather than draconian and authoritative aggressive approaches that can just turn a bad situation even worse – and uncontrollable and irreversible!

Allah God Guide us the Right Path and Way – Amin Amen. Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money. Jules Renard

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