The Oman Daily Observer – 13th 2013
Blaming Others In Life!
- A man can fail many times, but he isn’t a failure until he begins to blame somebody else – John Burroughs
- In Life’s decisions, it is always your fault, because if you wanted to change, you’re the one who has got to change – Katharine Hepburn
- Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past. Let us accept our own responsibility and for the future – John F. Kennedy
- When you blame others, you give up your power to change – Robert Anthony
Since the essence of time, people have always blamed others for their own mistakes and errors in judgment and in decision making! We may blame our parents – our upbringing – our families, relatives and friends – and the environment and society as a whole of our current troubles, problems and predicaments. We do not accept our own roles and responsibilities – but must always find scapegoats and excuses.
We may a thing has going bad for a very long time – but we do not come in to rectify and save the situation – until things have gone very wrong – and we go in for quick and fast fixes – instead of looking deep in self analysis and deep soul search of why things went wrong – or of the status quo!
During history, people have even ‘killed the messenger of bad news’ – as if in doing so – the problems will just evaporate and disappear in front of our own eyes! That is why the ‘cheapest slave’ is selected to send in the bad news! It is true that it is very easy and convenient to sit at the pedestal and preach – whilst we ourselves are not perfect – and do the very same things that our preaching is against! That is human beings for you!
The Nazis blamed the Jews for the economy down turn in pre World War 2 Germany. In the end, 6 million Jews were massacred in cold blood by Hitler and his Nazi thugs. In Yugoslavia they blamed the Muslims – and some of them did not know even that they were Muslims in Communist times – because they were not practising – drank alcohol and ate pork in abundance – only their supposed to be Muslim names differianted them from the rest.
Iddi Amin – The ex Ugandan Dictator – blamed the Asians for the economic status quo of Uganda then! He said he had ‘a dream from God’ – to expel and chuck out the Asians from Uganda. During a famous demonstration – he took a certificate of citizenship of one Asian named Patel – and tore it into pieces – declaring in front of a great cheering crowd – There Mr. Patel – you are no longer a citizen of Uganda – and end of ‘Paper Citizens’ per se! So did Saddam Hussein who shot Traders because ‘they were raising prices’ during the embargo boycott times. These are all facts of history – recorded and preserved – and nothing new or invented!
Image – Blame! For Demonstration Purposes Only!
On an individual level – I must admit that my own weaknesses and kindnesses led to the eventual downfall of my own business in Consultancy! Because I wanted to employ as many unemployed youth as I could that came knocking at our doors – or were being referred to us.
When business was very good at the start of the business – we never sat and thought of what things would be in when there was no more business – or the support and assistance – financial and otherwise – started to be withdrawn. Or us refusing to be unprofessional, unethical and unprincipled – by taking acceptances to short cuts – and doing things all wrong and crooked – so ‘just to survive’ – as the twisted crooked sayings go!
The same thing can be said of my career life. I should have been more hard hearted stone hearted and do just as I was told – and like that mercenary soldier told to shoot – and not only shoots – but even throw in a grenade in the process. Or when told to jump – not to ask and challenge – but revert to how high do you want me to jump! Be a better team player – The us and them syndrome – at least we are in control of the situation – and they will do our bidding! So like what Bush said – You are either with us – or with them! Not stupid unwise me saying – I am with the third option – not with them – nor with you – but more with myself and my own outlooks, focuses and conscience only!
You will forgive me too. With all that has happened to me and being also that sickish and oldish – I have become ‘egg shell’ – and case (top) sensitive! Imagine arguing and fighting with a bed-ridden ailing and invalid relative – because he was lamenting on his current status – and ‘blaming the whole world’ – including us the family members – but as if he was innocent and perfect. I admit I may have many faults and issues – but one thing I am not for sure.
Even in my major operation in Royal Hospital and being in a serious diabetic attack a few years ago – that even the foreign Arab Doctor was teasing me – do you have iron veins? Because in your state – you should be in a coma, paralysed or even dead! Yet I was smiling and cheerful! I blamed no one – except myself for putting my life and health in extreme risks – because I was still crying and lamenting on my lost consultancy business – and my lost personal and family status! Whatever the case – I would never dare to speak a harsh and cruel cutting word – to a doctor – and even a visitor – and more if he is family and relative – and had come in with good sincere faith to see me!
Our late Father used to tell us – Nobody kisses your hand – unless you are rich and powerful – or it is spiked with honey. And if you see a poor man’s hand being kissed – most likely it is the later – or in most probabilities – it is either the son or daughter related of that poor man!
Next time you want to blame others for your decisions and mistakes in life – Just Don’t! Take Care!
By Majid Al Suleimany