Monthly Archives: March 2013

With A Heart of Stone! Reply

Between Us Only! Column, Complex and Difficult Topics, Deep Self Analysis and Conscience Topics, Family Stories, Opinion, Weekly Observer Article • Tags: , , ,

For Sunday March 31st 2013

Between Us Only!

With A Heart of Stone!

No Mercy In The Hearts!

Or Just Hearts Made out of Stones!

  • Allah (God) will not give mercy to anyone, except those who give mercy to others –  The Islamic Hadith
  • Sweet mercy is nobility’s true badge – William Shakespeare
  • Teach me to feel another’s woe; to hide the fault I see; that mercy I to others show; that mercy show to me – Alexander Pope

Something that has always baffled and confused me till to this day is seeing some supposed to be ‘decent nice good people’ and that are also ‘following and observing’ having the meanest cruel envious jealous hearts that you ever saw – and making that the opposite drinking smoking etc. character as honorable and more astute and more considerate and charitable.

Bad 2

bad 3

Images Bad – For Demontration Purposes Only!

It all looks like a drama and role acting play – and that as if that person has been given – or chosen for himself a role – even starring one – that he or she is least suited for! It looks at best a bravado too – if not a façade and staged act, play and drama. The hypocrisy and double standards are really devastating – and killing too!

In my career life and others, I have seen people that are really high positions feeling jealous and envious of fast rising high potential staff that they have even developed sinister evil plans to curtail and or dampen their growth – because of the fear element – or just plain envy and jealousy that it took them a lot of efforts and time to pass through the phases – unalike the competition that is moving fast upwards and vertically!

bad 4

I had bosses that even if need and desperation I would prefer to be without – because I know well in advance what their reactions and answers will be. Forget the staff under me – or those I am responsible and looking after. If I go to one particular Department boss for an issue of the staff under him – I know well the refusal and the negativity – simply because he does not like that person – and to ‘fix him’ in showing him his authority and power – even if you throw him the book – and point out that it is allowable – he will create an artificial not true situation in retort – saying to you – our Department now is at critical ‘this stage’ level – and we simply cannot allow anyone  – for example compassionate emergency leave now! A few days later another staff whom he likes – and does ‘not need fixing’ can be allowed by the same boss to proceed – because I know him and his family – and he deserves the break – whilst the other one is left trying hard to cope with the denial – and continuing doing his job at the same time!

The same can be done to the contractor, customer and client! One gets ‘no never’ – whilst the other ‘possibly yes’ and even direct yes! For the same situation, condition and request! What is this that we do not fear God anymore? That as supposed to be believers we are simply not afraid of ‘what goes around; comes around’? The punishment on earth before they bury you? The punishment of the grave? The day of Judgement? Or reincarnation?

And the worst part I personally feel is when it extends to family and family versus relatives relationships and associations – you side with one – against the other! We defend those that are not defendable – and attack those that are defendable – and have reason and justification – but we simply deny them – because our evil hearts and minds dictate to us that we should do so – and damn the rest in injustices and unfairness – lack of ethics, principles, justice and professionalism!

Bad 6

Images Bad – For Demontration Purposes Only!

And if someone pokes his fingers into your eyes – don’t squirm and turn! Be quiet – let him do it – because he is the boss – or he is in a position and authority to do so! I had narrated this case when one friend had visited him in my office – and talking to him nicely – when this boss of mine – a fellow local – comes in ‘shouting and screaming’ loud in the corridors for the whole world to hear! Everyone – including visitors in the reception – were looking at me as if fish out of water – and I kept praying quietly under the breathe to avoid making more drama and spectatle!

Bad 1

Images Bad – For Demontration Purposes Only!

He was still puffing and cursing in his office when I went in – closed the door behind me – looked him straight in the face and told him that ‘this is your final and last time’ that you will do this to me ever again! You have issues with me – justified or not – on my works and or otherwise – please call me to your office – and let us discuss rationally – professionally and ethically – and we will then try best to sort out the issues and amicably. When my temporary contract came for renewal – he declined to do so! He was not used at people getting back to him – and making a stand to him!

Sometimes if you see how some high profile places are run – it will shock you to the core – and your very foundations!

Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

Accolades Received! New RSA Book! 2

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PP Native Cover.4097374.indd

A From BankMuscat Management Team

Dear Majid;

Being The Safe Driver!

We truly appreciate your thoughtfulness and initiative in bringing out this publication which is the need of the hour; with the number of accidents in the Sultanate rising at an alarming rate.

As we understand, the major cause of accidents is significantly relating to reckless driving and the book provides true real accounts that shed light on the value of safety and defensive driving.

We commend your efforts to educate residents of Oman to take this important issue sincerely.

Wishing you all the very best for your future publications.

With best regards

Management – BankMuscat

March 25, 2013

B Kirkus Reviews – March 26th 2013

TITLE INFORMATION

BEING THE SAFE DRIVER!

Behind The Wheel! The New Road Safety Novel!

Al Suleimany, Majid

CreateSpace (448 pp.)

$32.00 paperback

ISBN: 978-1481843034; February 2, 2013

BOOK REVIEW

A heartfelt, enthusiastic series of instructions and warnings about road safety.

Al Suleimany, a columnist for the Oman Daily Observer, observes that the Sultanate of Oman has one of the highest motorist casualty rates in the world, and he sets out in this book (not actually a novel, but rather a collection of dramatic real-life incidents) to raise Omani awareness of the causes—and results—of carelessness on the country’s roadways.

The book shows endorsements by HM Sultan Qaboos bin Said (who, like many Omanis, has himself been involved in accidents prevention campaigns), including the Omani Grand Mufti and the Royal Omani Police.

Al Suleimany stresses that the dangers involved are communal: “There can be no Omani in the Sultanate who has not been touched closely by a road death and yet we see dangerous driving every time we travel the roads.” As a newspaperman, Al Suleimany highlights printed accident reports: “Every day we see also in the newspapers about road casualty figures in the newspapers—but as usual in the coming story we never imagine or visualize that it could be someone we know well or related to.”

The work shows examples of motorists making bad or careless choices (it’s also full of accident photos and emotional reminders of the loved ones left behind when a driver dies or kills someone). The author points out several underlying causes of all this tragedy: Oman as a culture is new to driving; it has been “thrust into the 21st century in a matter of a few decades”; and Oman has newly prosperous youth who prize fast cars over safety. The author attempts to prevent new-driver heedlessness by underscoring the personal tragedies that can result from reckless driving. Al Suleimany issues stern warnings about the

high cost of irresponsibility, and although a good deal of the book is Oman-specific, many of those warnings have global applications.

A detailed, compassionate call for greater motorist responsibility in Oman.

Kirkus Indie, Kirkus Media LLC, 6411 Burleson Rd., Austin, TX 78744

indie@kirkusreviews.com

Book available in Oman at Family Bookshops MQ – and WHSmith The Wave. Price OMR 12/= – same price as USA!

Or order on line www.createspace.com/4097374 and Other Retailers

Pride and Prejudice! 1

All About Me!, Between Us Only! Column, Complex and Difficult Topics, Deep Self Analysis and Conscience Topics, Family Stories, Good Article, Opinion, Uncategorized, Weekly Observer Article • Tags: , ,

For Sunday March 24th 2013

Between Us Only!

Pride and Prejudice!

Or My Poor ‘African Cousin’!

  • The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong – Mahatma Gandhi
  • Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them! – Bruce Lee
  • The successful man will profit from his mistakes and try again in a different way – Dale Carnegie

A Introduction

According to Wikipedia, Pride and Prejudice is a novel by Jane Austen, first published in 1813. The story follows the main character Elizabeth Bennet as she deals with issues of manners, upbringing, morality, education, and marriage in the society of the landed gentry of early 19th century England. Elizabeth is the second of five daughters of a country gentleman living near the fictional town of Meryton in Hertfordshire, near London. “Pride and Prejudice is also about that thing that all great novels consider – the search for self.

One day Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi stole a little money from his father’s pocket. He trembled to pick his father’s pocket. But he realized it was a great crime. This realization did not allow him to rest in peace. He became restless. His conscience pricked him. It was too much to bear. So, he decided that he should never steal anything from anybody under any circumstances. He did not stop at that.

Pride-Prejudice

Image Pride and Prejudice.

He wrote a letter of confession admitting his mistake and swore that he would never resort to stealing. But he was not bold enough to give the letter to his father. So, he put it in his pocket secretly. The father was so much moved by the confession that he instantly forgave self-correction, Gandhi became Mahatma Gandhi. So, let us learn to admit the mistakes done by us knowingly or unknowingly, and also to try not to commit the same mistake in our life time.

B The Story

I do not know about you but in my life’s time I have done some real big mistakes and errors in judgement in my life – but nothing is compared to when one is a young child and as a teenager. Some mistakes we may have regretted immediately afterwards – and others it took us a long time to admit – after fighting our own guilt and conscience – and we regret to the end of our lives even! I read this Snoopy character cartoon of ‘Make one mistake – and you will regret for the rest of your life!

African Woman 1

Image – African Woman

People like us from parents and grandparents that went to Africa cannot discount or deny the links to that distant land – even in family and relatives connections. Our parents and (great) grandparents went to Africa in dhows – and many decided to settle there after the dark part of our history in autocracy and persecution – and supported by those that preached freedom and democracy in more as rhetoric and falsehood than in reality – so long as ‘their interests’ are served – they do not care or feel for anybody else. It is only when there is ‘threat and or infringement’ that they dare to step in to ‘preserve and protect’ their own interests and well being only!

African Woman 2

Image African Woman

I had one of my late Uncles who spoke fluent Swahili – but he was embarrassed and feeling shameful that he did – and had even been to Africa – and that even one of his own sons had married a local girl – and got children too – his grandchildren. Of course he was more attuned to his children that were more near his own choices of in arranged marriages than the rebel prodigical son! I found this irony very much disturbing and upsetting – because it looked to me like that ostrich with head in the ground approach of life’s aspects.

He is not alone – there are many others just like him – in that you look the other way – and expect the whole world in this internet global age to do the same! As Obama had said – Those days are long gone! We need to wake up to the realization and truth only. That is why I always say – in Oman we have a great thing going – and to do the right correct ethical and right thing – even if eventually and belatedly sometimes! Now having preached and in rhetoric practice – I need to admit this part of my life’s history. In talking about myself – hopefully others will learn too – and some hopefully may even copy and emulate in the process!

African Woman 3

Image – African Women

As a young boy of about 8 years old – our late grandfather direct from Manah – had married a local girl there in that distant land. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder – and there is no colour, race, creed, nationality or ethnicity in love – truthfully and honestly speaking here! So whether we like it or not – we are related directly to the offsprings – even if they may look differently to us! Our father at the time was very rich and powerful – and he had the colonial District Commissioner as ‘his personal friend and protector’. I said about all these things before!

As you can guess – coming from a rich family – and you had just to say it – and your wish was given to you! I remembered when my late father had asked me – if I wanted anything gift in particular – and I told him that I wanted a horse! I meant a real live horse – but the poor man gave us a riding horse alright – but made of steel – and wheels! So being pampered and getting whatever we wanted as kids – our heads were in the clouds – spoilt and pompous – and looking down on other kids lesser fortunate than us. Including this poor girl from the family too! It was Eid day and the whole family had met in our late father’s rich house – and there were all of us there – including invited guests from outside!

So this poor girl wanted to ride my bicycle – and selfish me did not allow her to do so! But I allowed others – and that was the worst mean part of me – in prejudices! Pride and prejudice! She is one year older than me! We made amends few years ago – when I kneeled down and apologised to her what I did to her as a young boy.

Please pray for her too – because she needs your prayers too! Because she is very sick – and the message came in last Wednesday. She had insisted that I be informed – and I pray for her! And she …. has forgiven me – because she did instead ride the truck – that I bought for her husband’s business far later in life!

What more can I say? Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

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Pressures On Children To Excel! Reply

Uncategorized • Tags: , , , , , , ,

For Wednesday March 20th 2013

Between Us Only!

Pressures On Children To Excel!

Recently in the local news was an incident of a young Indian boy who it is alleged that had ‘forged his own kidnapping’ because he was scared stiff of his father and ‘how he would fare’ in his coming examinations! Frankly, it comes all out of watching too much television! Before we start on the topic – let us have some quotes about the children in general!

v In one Islamic tradition – our Great Prophet Muhammad – peace be upon him – ran after his grandson Hussein in a game until he caught him.

v He used to let his granddaughter Umamah sit on his shoulders while he was praying.

v When Prophet Muhammad PBUH was chided for kissing his grandchild, he responded to them – What can I do if God has deprived your heart of all human feelings?

v Prophet Muhammad SAW has been described as being very fond of children in general.

v Once, Prophet Muhammad – peace be upon him – was sitting with a child in his lap, and the child urinated over him Embarrassed, the father scolded the child.

v The Great Prophet pbuh restrained the father, and advised him: This is not a big issue. My clothes can be washed. But be careful with how you treat the child. What can restore his self-esteem after you have dealt with him in public like this?

v If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.- Albert Einstein

v Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them – Oscar Wilde

v If we wish to create a lasting peace, we must begin with the children – Mahatma Ghandi

v I have a dream that my children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character – Martin Luther King.

v Children must be taught how to think, not what to think – Margaret Mead

v Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring and integrity, they think of you! – H. Jackson Brown Jnr.

Take it from me with my 6 brothers’ and 8 sisters’ children – over a football team Masha Allah – and grandchildren with some of them – and the ‘extended family’ that has all ‘other nationalities on board ship’ – just like Noah’s Ark – including some in Indian, Pakistani, Thai, Canadians, USA, UK, Africans, Yemenis – etc! I have no whims to share with you – if I may! I have written so many columns about children in my columns (and books) stretching over 10 years now!

Students 1

Images Students – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

A long time ago – when I visited that distant land – I met this young Professor in the University there. As we continued chatting – I realised that his father was my classmate in College there. So I asked about his father? He took me to this very ailing sick forlorn old man – who actually was my own age!

As we sat chatting and eating the local food of ugali (wheat flour), maharagwe (beans) and dried fish coconut curry – he recalled to me the incident of his son when they had a ‘very big argument’ – as he put it – because his son wanted to do Arts subject – instead of science topics – so possibly he could end as a doctor or as an Engineer (if you like Engineer jokes – with due to respects to my youngest daughter here – search for The Knack in the Internet! It is worth a smile – or ‘dry humour’ – if you will!

Students 2

Images Students – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

He said to me – I had just caught my son about to jump from the 5th floor of the flat building we were staying in company accommodation. My son had tied a big rock round his neck – so the fall could be faster. If I had delayed one minute – there would not be this son professor in front of your eyes today! So I consoled him – because he could not stop crying – even then! The son was now a Professor – and a highly acclaimed one – and happy that his choice of career and life aspects went the way he wanted them to be!

Students A

Images Students – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

This reminded me of my own case as a young boy when I was going to Secondary School and my choice of Arts subjects. Fortunately or unfortunately – our parents were not that highly educated and I had to make this delicate critical decision mostly on my own! At that time we used to have what was called as Arithmetic – before it became Mathematics – and I hated ‘figure works’ – as it was a compulsory subject for the science stream!

Students 3

Images Students – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

My father wanted for me? To become a doctor! Unfortunately we did not have even a nurse in the children – but only later with nurses – in the grandchildren! Yes there is now a lady doctor too – in the ‘extended family’ – but she is not even Omani – but Indian! But that is another story for now! So those people that tell you I am anti-Indian etc – ask them to see their shrink first! Guess what the old man would think if he knew his son is a writer instead! Sending him faster to the grave! But he died long time before even going into business!

When my son was in Secondary school he wanted to throw a party – because he had passed his exams! But there was resistance – because the first question even the Invitees would ask is – how much averages did you score? Typical Omani style questioning – even if you have later A Doctorate – because usually the people that ask the question – are themselves secondary school finalists! So Madam Wife put her foot down – ‘you got the guts to invite people with this mark? Yes my son retorted – because see any mark after mine to 90% averages – no one gets college or University – so what is the difference here? So I said son – we will all mutiny – and throw the party! My son had never forgotten to this day! Today my son earns more than twice her mother makes as an executive secretary – tongue in cheek speaking!

Iraqi students receive school supplies

Images Students – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

When I read the magazines nowadays, I find many cases – especially with due respects – of expatriate families ‘excel pressures’ on their children – and including ‘peer pressures’ too! The feelings are genuine and sincere as parents want best for their children always – but sometimes – or many times – the children think differently – and have their own likes and prioraties!

Today my daughter is an Engineer – though if you ask me frankly I would think she could make a very good Human Resources Manager – because unalike me she is very enduring and patient with people – and a good study of character and personality than ever I can claim to be – especially now less patient with being diabetic and eyes sick! Small things makes me explode now!

School Kids Diversity

Images Students – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

Frankly, in my mind – there is nothing like talking to each other and trying to accommodate and reach compromises – and meeting of the minds. Rather than draconian and authoritative aggressive approaches that can just turn a bad situation even worse – and uncontrollable and irreversible!

Allah God Guide us the Right Path and Way – Amin Amen. Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money. Jules Renard

Book with stories of accident victims pitches for Road Safety! 2

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Muscat Daily

Book with stories of accident victims pitches for Road

Safety!

 
Majid al Suleimany
 
 
Muscat Dailt – March 18, 2013
 
Muscat –

It is arguably the first time in the country that several heart-wrenching real life stories of road accident victims have been put together in a book to tackle road safety issues and educate people on the consequences of reckless driving.

A retired human resources consultant, Majid al Suleimany has collected more than 60 real life stories of road accident victims and their families for the 450-page book Being the Safe Driver.
Published in the US, the book looks at the rising number of road accidents and also provides technical advice from experts. “With PDO’s help I was able get and narrate several accidents with a detailed view on what caused the accidents. The book has views from a number of HSE (health, safety and environment) experts on how to be a safe driver. And I have also quoted verses from the Q’uran to show that putting other people’s lives in danger for no apparent reason is not acceptable in Islam,” said Suleimany.

He said this makes Being the Safe Driver a good handbook. “We don’t look at the accidents from an emotional level. We only see statistics in newspapers and news clipping about one more accidents. The day we start associating with it emotionally and putting faces to victims, we will be more responsible on roads.” To take a closer look and see the consequences in person, the author visited hospitals and was distraught to see people maimed for life. “It was so emotional to see children and adults with broken limbs and burnt bodies. There were so many young boys with debilitating injuries – who otherwise should have been looking at their future – languishing in hospital wards.”

He said there should be a programme to show the public what consequences the victims and their families are facing. “It could be either through documentaries or planned hospital tours.”

Suleimany is already in talks with a couple of people who could translate the book into Arabic. “The plan is to go to schools and give them a presentation on road safety and leave some books in their library.”

This is Suleimany’s sixth book, and he is expecting to launch another two very soon.

“I plan to do an official launch of Being the Safe Driver and my other two upcoming books sometime in April. This would be the first time that an Omani author is releasing three books at a time,” he said

Increasing Alcohol Abuse! Reply

Between Us Only! Column, Complex and Difficult Topics, Deep Self Analysis and Conscience Topics, Family Stories, Opinion, Weekly Observer Article • Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

For Sunday March 17th 2013

Between Us Only!

Increasing Alcohol Abuse!

v O you who believe! Intoxicants (all kinds of alcoholic drinks), gambling, idolatry, and diving arrows are an abomination of Satan’s handiwork. So avoid that so that you may be successful – The Holy Quran 5: 90

v Alcohol maybe man’s worst enemy! – Frank Sinatra

v I don’t even drink! I can’t stand the taste of alcohol! – Kim Kardashian

v Alcohol gives you infinite patience for stupidity – Sammy Davis Jnr.

v Herb is the healing of a nation; alcohol is the destruction! – Bob Marley

v Alcohol is the anesthia by which we endure the operation of life – George Bernard Shaw.

Frankly and truthfully speaking, I have written on this very same topic a few times before! The last time I wrote on this – a few years ago – a very irate and upset relative of the family called me to start an abusive from the start discussion about my writings – and saying to me that he will be very blunt – because maybe the world does not know it – but he knows it for sure that an Indian guy working for this newspaper – was writing for me – and paying him on the sideline! He said to me – you can fool everyone – but not me! I know exactly about you. All things you think we do not know about you!

Drunk 2

Drinkin Images For Demonstration Purposes Only!

The call was placed to me at 2 a.m. in those days when people still used land phone lines! And Madam Wife MW was worried because I was ‘at my best behaviour’ and just listening without saying anything – especially to the loud voices and shouts at the other end – after calling some minutes later – to ‘give me a piece of his mind – once more!’. Anyway – I told MW that it was a certain WRTXY – and certainly at that time he was not sober – and one could easily tell from the hoarse husky gruff voice at the other end. I do not know what hand signals he was also placing – as he was talking to me – but one does not need high imagination to fathom out what they could be!

Next day, at around noon he came to my Office – and I was just about to press the emergency link button to Security – when he started crying in the Office in very loud voices – now that he was sober – and asking for ‘my help to save him’ – and if I knew Alcoholics Anonymous contact – but I referred him to a fellow Omani peer who likes his drinks – and the one that easily became ‘high flying potential’ to succeed over a lot of the rest of us that went without and observing – because we had not caught on – and were ‘not modern’!

hard times

Drinkin Images For Demonstration Purposes Only!

When I was studying in UK in the 1970s, my peers foreign students friends used to use me as their chauffeur to take them from the pubs – until that day when I put my foot down – when two of them dirtied my car. There was there one pretty tall local girl that really took a fancy to me – remember I was still young and not married then – but when she found out that I was not ‘drinking even socially’ – as she kindly put it – that was too much for her! And the pretty thing slipped through my fingers!

For a long time I was fighting with the devil whether to entertain her or not – until then when I remembered and came to my senses – as the East Africans say – The one who denies you beans – is just reducing you from getting gas! – And frankly not a lost grapes saga!

Drunk 1

Drinkin Images For Demonstration Purposes Only!

In one of the new FDI companies, I was in a very good position and status as their HR man in Oman. Until the day when the top guys from their home came to the launch – and found out that my white wine glass was actually a soft drink beverage! One of them was drawn to the bubbles in the glass – because as I understand it – the white wine does not cause bubbles?

He said to me – I am confused! I thought you were 3 years in UK? Explain to me! So I did! And that also happened in a Management course abroad – a few years before I retired – because the good final farewell party Organiser said to me – All you people (you people?) coming from (our region) drink heavily – why are you a fish out of water – from the famous expression – drink like a fish! Sic!

It is very sad to see the outlook and approach of life that some of our youngsters have adopted and taken that ‘it is okay – that you can drink a little – ‘just to socialise’ escapades – but they forget that it is how all the things start – before you start making a fool and nuisance of yourself – and cause strife and havoc in your married and family life. Sad when even the lassies do it too – because I can tell you – honestly and frankly – whether you believe me or not – that even those that like their drinks want a spouse and life partner that does not drink! HEALTH Alcohol 074058

Drinkin Images For Demonstration Purposes Only!

I have seen it real life experiences – both local and foreign – where marriages – even amongst the elders – supposed to be more patient and waiting in dreams for changes – have broken up – because of the stuff! Because that is the root cause of domestic violence! The people that suffer the most – and hopefully will not join in the future – copy and emulate – are the children teenagers only!

Trust me – I am a great believer in ‘live and let live’ syndromes and approaches – because I could go to a pub and have my meal – and if you leave me alone to have nowadays my fresh juice also – and you have whatever you want – but don’t impose your rules and values to me – and I will not impose mine to you! If you say to me things like ‘a lot of you people (you people?) drink a lot – when you have only have few examples in reality to give – then we have problems ahead – between us – as I had said in my books too!

One long time ago – in a great party – one of the top local guys that just could not stand me – told me ‘why he hated me to the core’. Next day sober (hopefully!) he said to me – I hope I was not a nuisance yesterday? I said – sarcastically – more to myself – No Sir! You were okay! Why give him the advantage – and an ace card?

Allah God Guide us the Right Path and Way – Amin Amen. Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

With sincere and due apologies!

Blaming Others In Life! Reply

Between Us Only! Column, Complex and Difficult Topics, Deep Self Analysis and Conscience Topics, Family Stories, Good Article, Opinion, Weekly Observer Article • Tags: , , , ,

The Oman Daily Observer – 13th 2013

Blaming Others In Life!

  • A man can fail many times, but he isn’t a failure until he begins to blame somebody else – John Burroughs
  • In Life’s decisions, it is always your fault, because if you wanted to change, you’re the one who has got to change – Katharine Hepburn
  • Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past. Let us accept our own responsibility and for the future – John F. Kennedy
  • When you blame others, you give up your power to change – Robert Anthony

Since the essence of time, people have always blamed others for their own mistakes and errors in judgment and in decision making! We may blame our parents – our upbringing – our families, relatives and friends – and the environment and society as a whole of our current troubles, problems and predicaments. We do not accept our own roles and responsibilities – but must always find scapegoats and excuses.

Blame 1

We may a thing has going bad for a very long time – but we do not come in to rectify and save the situation – until things have gone very wrong – and we go in for quick and fast fixes – instead of looking deep in self analysis and deep soul search of why things went wrong – or of the status quo!

During history, people have even ‘killed the messenger of bad news’ – as if in doing so – the problems will just evaporate and disappear in front of our own eyes! That is why the ‘cheapest slave’ is selected to send in the bad news! It is true that it is very easy and convenient to sit at the pedestal and preach – whilst we ourselves are not perfect – and do the very same things that our preaching is against! That is human beings for you!

Blame 2

The Nazis blamed the Jews for the economy down turn in pre World War 2 Germany. In the end, 6 million Jews were massacred in cold blood by Hitler and his Nazi thugs. In Yugoslavia they blamed the Muslims – and some of them did not know even that they were Muslims in Communist times – because they were not practising – drank alcohol and ate pork in abundance – only their supposed to be Muslim names differianted them from the rest.

Iddi Amin – The ex Ugandan Dictator – blamed the Asians for the economic status quo of Uganda then! He said he had ‘a dream from God’ – to expel and chuck out the Asians from Uganda. During a famous demonstration – he took a certificate of citizenship of one Asian named Patel – and tore it into pieces – declaring in front of a great cheering crowd – There Mr. Patel – you are no longer a citizen of Uganda – and end of ‘Paper Citizens’ per se! So did Saddam Hussein who shot Traders because ‘they were raising prices’ during the embargo boycott times. These are all facts of history – recorded and preserved – and nothing new or invented!

Blame 3

Image – Blame! For Demonstration Purposes Only!

On an individual level – I must admit that my own weaknesses and kindnesses led to the eventual downfall of my own business in Consultancy! Because I wanted to employ as many unemployed youth as I could that came knocking at our doors – or were being referred to us.

When business was very good at the start of the business – we never sat and thought of what things would be in when there was no more business – or the support and assistance – financial and otherwise – started to be withdrawn. Or us refusing to be unprofessional, unethical and unprincipled – by taking acceptances to short cuts – and doing things all wrong and crooked – so ‘just to survive’ – as the twisted crooked sayings go!

Blame 4

The same thing can be said of my career life. I should have been more hard hearted stone hearted and do just as I was told – and like that mercenary soldier told to shoot – and not only shoots – but even throw in a grenade in the process. Or when told to jump – not to ask and challenge – but revert to how high do you want me to jump! Be a better team player – The us and them syndrome – at least we are in control of the situation – and they will do our bidding! So like what Bush said – You are either with us – or with them! Not stupid unwise me saying – I am with the third option – not with them – nor with you – but more with myself and my own outlooks, focuses and conscience only!

You will forgive me too. With all that has happened to me and being also that sickish and oldish – I have become ‘egg shell’ – and case (top) sensitive! Imagine arguing and fighting with a bed-ridden ailing and invalid relative – because he was lamenting on his current status – and ‘blaming the whole world’ – including us the family members – but as if he was innocent and perfect. I admit I may have many faults and issues – but one thing I am not for sure.

Blame A

Even in my major operation in Royal Hospital and being in a serious diabetic attack a few years ago – that even the foreign Arab Doctor was teasing me – do you have iron veins? Because in your state – you should be in a coma, paralysed or even dead! Yet I was smiling and cheerful! I blamed no one – except myself for putting my life and health in extreme risks – because I was still crying and lamenting on my lost consultancy business – and my lost personal and family status! Whatever the case – I would never dare to speak a harsh and cruel cutting word – to a doctor – and even a visitor – and more if he is family and relative – and had come in with good sincere faith to see me!

Our late Father used to tell us – Nobody kisses your hand – unless you are rich and powerful – or it is spiked with honey. And if you see a poor man’s hand being kissed – most likely it is the later – or in most probabilities – it is either the son or daughter related of that poor man!

Next time you want to blame others for your decisions and mistakes in life – Just Don’t! Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

Road Safety Book Release! Reply

About My Books!, Announcements, Books Announcement, The Road Safety Novel Book Type • Tags: , , , , , ,

Road Safety Book Release!

www.createspace.com/4097374

Open the link above.

The Oman Daily Observer – March 9th 2013 – Book Press Release.

More information here and at www.myown-ebooks.com

Please support for this worthy noble National Cause in RSA.

The book is available at Family Bookshops and WHSmith (The Wave)

Price OMR 15 Fifteen. (US Dollars 34)

Available on line via Amazon and CreateSpace

Book Release Oman Observer

Best Wishes and Regards,

Majid Al Suleimany

Being Good In Life! Reply

Between Us Only! Column, Complex and Difficult Topics, Deep Self Analysis and Conscience Topics, Family Stories, Good Article, Opinion, Weekly Observer Article • Tags: , , , , ,

For Sunday March 10th 2013

Between Us Only!

Being Good In Life!

  • You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty! – Ghandi.
  • Wait down for the person going up the ladder! – East African Saying
  • We never know what is waiting for us in our futures. Sometimes you may wish for a quick end death – but it still is not coming! – As Above!

A long time ago – when our late Father was still alive – he used to advise us – If you are in a dhow (ship) – and all around you – including the captain and crew – are one eyed – then close one eye! Do not show that you can see with both eyes! Because with the guys inborn envious streaks and jealousies – and their eagerness to put you in your place – they may make you lose both eyes! Because different groups of them will be after you – and they may have lost which eye they had left! Sound advice!

Being Good 1

Fight Between Good and Bad!

I do not know about you – but it is my contention and feeling that today in life the more good and humane things you do – the more you get hurt and pained in life! You become the victim of your own making and circumstances! Have you noticed that those that had made it – or doing well in life – are mean, dastardly and cruel? They have no remembrances or recall of any favours or good things that you have or might have done for them – or those near them? They easily and conveniently forget – because they can – and are in position to do so!

If you go to some of the places – and see great cars parked outside – be precautioned and be warned! You do not know who the owner or tenant of that house really is! You may be shocked and awed! Unless you have a real need or requirement to go in – don’t! Be especially careful of those just coming into money – or suddenly making big money! They are meanly and dastardly changed people – not what you knew them to be before! They have their heads in the clouds – and riding high horses!

You will forgive me for generalising – but I have seen it real in life – with even family, friends and acquaintances! From the same peoples that once were in glee and rejoicing of owning a small Korean or Japanese car! Now there are top of the ranges – top luxury and fast cars parked outside!

Being Good 3

Image – Being Good!

I have been to one house – and stupid me thinking that he will remember the favours I did to him personally before – which could have been even instrumental of where he is now! I ended not only disappointed and frustrated – but insulted in the process – and walked out like that dog with its tail stuck into its behind! I will not forget this to the end of my life!

So do not expect that if you do anything kind and nice to others – people will remember! They have short memories! The East Africans say – Do your good deed – and continue on your journey! Do not wait for favours being returned or remembered – otherwise you will never make that journey!

Being Good 2

So my question is this! If you do good and nice things to people – and they easily forget and do not remember – is the situation the same if instead you do bad and evil things? No – in many cases than one – you will be the hero! See how real good nice faithful wives fare? The husband is fooling around! So is the reverse of the case with husbands too! Yet they are seen as great – and heroes! The dull, dumb and stupid ones are those that want to be nice – and remain good! Life’s foibles – twists and turns – the worst in humanity – the decay – the decadence – and the malaise in life!

In one of the many companies that I worked – I had one girl assistant – who at least to me looked nice and decent – and we got along fine – boss and assistant! Years later, I came to realise that this girl – who was friendly and popular in the office – was shunned and casted away by her family and relatives – because God forgive her sins where she is now – because she was very mean, cruel and hard on her own family!

Even when she was very sick and invalid – on her death bed – few or almost none of them visited her – with exception of course of office friends that did not know the real person outside office – the Dr. Jackyl and Mr. Hyde dramas! There was even a great dispute of which house for her dead body was to be taken to – because even in death the despise, hatred and animosity did not decline! The only few people that were crying were her office friends – but hardly any or almost none of the direct family and relatives!

People outside that did not know the real facts and the truth just liked to accuse and criticise the family – with yours truly on board! For me yet – it was a great shocker – because I had prided myself as a good study of character and personality – but I got it all wrong! Perhaps because I was blinded by her being a great fan and reader of my works!

Next time you plan to do a good and kind deed – do it and continue on your journey! But if you are yearning to be famous and a hero – you know what you must do now! It has been known to work – to a considerable success!

Allah Protect and Preserve us all – Amin!

Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

The Morning Drive! Reply

About My Books!, All About Me!, Between Us Only! Column, Good Article, My New Arab Management Book, Weekly Observer Article • Tags: , , , ,

For Sunday March 3rd 2013

Between Us Only!

The Morning Drive!

Due to the exorbitant and difficult phase in my life a few years ago, I lost my Dodge Durango because I could no longer afford to pay the installments. I was left with my old Toyota Camry – that luckily had already been paid off in full. Though quite old now – it does take care of my family and I – because in turn we did look after it! That is the way of life – if you care and take care of someone – it is bound to be reciprocated – even if it does not show itself openly – and even in some rare cases – belatedly!

I have been behaving just like a hermit lately! Frankly, the mere idea of getting out and about used to make my glucose count rise up rapidly – and sweat all over! I guess that is not good for one who is diabetic – and has also eyes problems – especially the left one – with diminishing vision.

So I had decided long time ago not to continue confronting Madam for the remaining car – though logic would have been that it is she that still wants to work after retirement. I remember the joke of one official being called Mugabe – because he still wanted to work long after retirement. You might well ask me why I myself am not interested to continue to work – even if temporary or project work?

Toyota Camry

Toyota Camry

You see – I have already written 2 books in Arab Management expounding and exposing my experiences and exposures of yet still a much needed – you would think – National Human Resources Expert, Advisor and Consultant – with over 38 years of experiences! But I am just too tired to write a third book yet on the same subject – though admittedly I have more material for two more books if I wanted – especially now post Arab Spring uprisings!

So my good Indian friend trying to fix me something – poor guy he really tries hard – was shocked I was not interested for another temporary stint – when he told me who the boss and head of the project was. I can assure you that it has got nothing to do with him being junior in age – and even experiences – with me. Or the fact that now he has a title to address before his first name!

But the mere fact that I knew him before – and with my last experiences with ‘one I thought I knew’ – to end in great disappointments and stress – I took a rain check – as our good friends the Americans like to say! He could not believe that I was turning down a good offer – which it was – but for me staying outside family – is not that important anymore! For me my family is now more important to me than anything else! I just need some pocket money to buy small things now and then – and by grace of God – at least I get that few mercies now – the bread crumbs – as some may say!

So on the day had decided with putting my foot down – and telling Madam – you want to work – work! No one is stopping you! Even if you come home dead tired – and the housemaid has made a coup and taken over the house – including looking after the boss! That is how things happen – because you put al your eggs in one basket! What is the point of extra money – if your health and well being is put at exposure and great risks – just for a few Baizas more?

So I drop Madam at the office – and go and see my caring and feeling good friend at his Office. He had come twice to visit me at home – and my turn to reciprocate! It is a long time since I have driven in town – luxury and no purpose – with exception of a few compulsory drives before! Though I wrote the book on Road Safety – Being The Safe Driver! – www.bethesafedriver.com – I had never visualised and realised how bad driving has been now! From my place to MBD – I had 5 near misses – just because of speed and just plain reckless and risky care free driving!

PP Native Cover.4097374.indd

At the offices – I see people moving about going to their offices – all silent and quiet – like robots – or a puppet on strings! As if given choices – they would still want the money – the privileges and the perks – but stay at home! There is this Indian lady talking to herself – or is it the blue tooth of her Mobile? I would not know! The Omani girls in the company mini bus – are hardly smiling – hardly audible their responses as I offer Religious greetings. I feel like stopping – and asking them – why so sad and gloomy? But then I remember – yes I said it all before!

I see these expatriates in big saloon cars – with suits and ties – even if it is getting hot already! I ask myself the question – looks like in a street in Mumbai – not in Oman? Where are the Omanis? Yes = there out too – few driving taxis and buses! And a few ones going to the Offices – but not that many! What is happening to us? Easily, conveniently and that fast already forgotten? Are these jobs Omanis cannot do – given the right counseling, mentoring, guidance and training? And changes in outlooks, focuses and in priorities. So many questions – but few answers!

I go to my friend’s Office. I look around. All expatriates – maybe from home town too! Yes a few Omani Officials too – and the usual clerks, admin and pro. Even the tea handler is Indian. Cannot an Omani do this job? Maybe it is a question of health and hygiene – or is it more of  uncompromising priorities? And the Secretaries – even if the talks and rhetoric are they are reserved for Omanis?

A - A Cry For Help!

B - Psychology Book

The Two Arab Management Books

My friend is not there. Thank God – because he prides himself in being frank and blunt – and in putting the young ones down! We are not ready for serious talks – he brags – because the attitudes and focuses need to change! Perhaps it is a question more of missed opportunities – or only acting if the pressures are applied. I ask this young Omani Officer – how long did it take you to be an Officer – with all this crowd around you? He tells me – Uncle – keep writing about us! Do not give up! Do not be afraid! You are our voice out there!

I now reach home – dead tired, exasperated and disappointed. Scared and worried – all over again! I call Madam – I surrender! Please take the car! You know what? I will continue to stay now at home – at least for a bit longer! Please come and take the car! It is all yours – Madam!

Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany