Suspicious Minds! By Majid Al Suleimany Reply

Between Us Only!

Suspicious Minds!

Why can’t you see
What you’re doing to me
When you don’t believe a word I say?

We can’t go on together
With suspicious minds
And we can’t build our dreams
On suspicious minds….

Lyrics – Suspicious Minds – Elvis Presley

The other day I was watching this movie in one of the rented channels in Orbit Showtime Network. I miss the title now – but it is a film where these Hispanics in USA are throwing a family Christmas party – and the family has gathered from all the parts of the world to be at this family gathering – including one veteran serving in Iraq.

Suspicious Minds

Suspicious Minds – Argue Time – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

As the party progresses – the Father asks to be excused when he receives a call in his mobile. When he returns the mother throws a bombshell – and tells the family that she is looking for a divorce from the father. The mother has already concluded that the ‘man is cheating’ – that is why he took the call away from the family!

The party goes into disarray and acute confusion – with almost all the children supporting the mother against ‘bad man husband father’! Turns of events later prove that the man was talking to his female doctor – who had called in to confirm the devastating blow news that the man had cancer.

Suspicious 2

Suspicious Minds – Argue Time – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

But all the time the Father was hiding it from the family – especially at the festive season. When he is asked later on why he did not reveal the truth – even after the threatened divorce – the man lamely says it was because ‘perhaps that is what your Mother wanted – to make herself happy – away from me! He continues – Perhaps this way she would learn to cope better after I am gone – and as I have few months to live anyway. Who am I to stand in the way of what she wanted – and in her happiness?

Suspicious 3

Suspicious Minds – Argue Time – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

That brings me to the following points that I wish to make here now: –

  • In all the cases in fights between fathers and mothers – by natural inclinations that the mother is the mother – the angel in the house – she is right always – and fathers are always wrong!
  • It is amazing (shocking!) how children always side with the mothers immediately – even if they could be wrong!
  • Few remain neutral – or tend to give at least some grounds for suspicions to be proved that the father is wrong.
  • Men continue to take these abuses unabated – as if it is part of the job requirements to be the husband and the father too – and even grandfathers and so on!
  • Fathers and husbands suffer quietly – they have no support – because many are already marked guilty ‘to be hanged’ – by the same jury, judge and prosecutor – that is the mother, wife and majority of the siding children – and grandchildren!
  • Even the grandchildren join in! Last week I bought a gift for one of my granddaughters’ birthday party – and when teased who bought this for you – she replied grandmother!
  • I do not know why such questions need to be asked – why not leave it anonymous!
  • Fathers and husbands deserve and need to be given more credits and support than what they are getting now!
  • This week is Fathers and Husbands turn – last week it was me defending the Mothers and the Housewives – article titled ‘Desperate Housewives’.
  • To the fans that complained – see I listened!

Happy New Prosperous Safe Peaceful Year 2013!

Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

The ‘Desperate Housewives’! Reply

Between Us Only!

The ‘Desperate Housewives’

The Oman Daily Observer – Wednesday – December 26th 2012

With due respects and apologies for those that know of the above American Television series – no pun intended! It is all authentic – and dead serious – and not even ‘tongue in cheek’ speaking either!

I was reading this weekly magazine in English where they have a column for people to send in their personal problems and issues – and at the other end is a ‘Counsellor Advisor’ offering his or her advices to the Reader. There is a similar one in Arabic from a neighbouring country – where the problems and issues seem to be more serious!

desperate-housewives[1]

Image – The Desperate Housewives

In many of the cases are the expatriate housewives – and many of them are professionals – but unfortunately cannot work – or allowed to work by either the rules and regulations – or as in many cases by their own spouses – even if they could get a job and work!

During the time when I had my Consultancy still working – we employed many of the expatriate ladies on temporary job assignments that we got at the time. In one of the cases – the lady was even a Doctorate professional lady – but married to a middle strata echelon spouse – who controlled, bullied and dominated her – to the extent she considered me her savior because I had dared question her husband why he did not allow her to work – when actually the family needed the money as their child was going on to College back home in India! Our consultancy had even offered a job to a friend of mine’s spouse! Desperate-Housewives-desperate-housewives-2117767-1280-1024[1]

There was one case where the lady was so grateful to get a job from us – that it changed and turned around her life completely – to get a full time permanent job after our recommendations and referrals! She was a very pretty tall lady – and I always used to tease her why she did not go to Bollywood for an audition – though she was not sure of herself – and lacked confidence – because no one had told her before – certainly from a man – that she was pretty and beautiful! She used to say – maybe you are looking at me with Arab eyes?

In my columns I have said it many times – and on the same theme and focus. What is the point of earning money to bring home – when the house – especially the poor lady who is alone in the house – is sad and unhappy? That the man comes back well after 9 p.m. – and has no time for the family except watch a few Television – or read the newspaper briefly that late at night – after quick alone gulping of supper – and then go to sleep? Or as soon as he enters the house – he does not ask about the poor wife – and how her day had been? But just starts lamenting and complaining on minor trifles – because he had a bad day at the office and or with his boss – usually another expatriate – and wants to take it out on the poor woman?

Or if not take it on her – he starts complaining and lamenting so much why ‘things are wrong’ at the office – ‘today we had this stupid man who came to my office’ – blah! – Blah! To the extent that the poor woman feels squeamish and frightened to want to say anything – or her own worries and concerns – because the poor woman is afraid to make ‘things more worse for poor hubby’ – the way they are already!

So unhappy and unsatisfied she could say or get her bit – and no one to talk to! In one of the flats that my daughter and her husband had rented – and being as we are with neighbours – one of the ladies cried her heart out – when she had chatted with her – and how sad and unhappy she was! She told my daughter – I wish we can remain friends? My daughter said to her – But you both look smiling and cheerful whenever we see you – and the poor lady retorted – My dear! It is all an act – a charade! The reality is far from different!

To the extent that these ladies now write to problems columns in newspapers and magazines under assumed names, pseudonyms, Nome-de-plumes – because they are afraid the husband – or someone that knows her – may read the column – and recognise her!

Then there was this friend of mine who one day went home and found his wife had packed her bags wanting to return home – because she had enough. My friend was telling me that he even felt the wife was scared and afraid of her all this time before! He too was preoccupied with the office – and lost the home instead!

In another case this woman was lamenting to me – what we have as the kitchen here – is the same size of our house back home. But I am unhappy and desperate – and wish to return home! She too complained on hubby being more preoccupied with the office – rather than the home and the family!

Mind you we have equally – if not more and serious – issues and problems at the home fronts too – but the idea of writing to newspapers has still not caught one – though I do occasionally get some directly to me. The sad and unfortunate and tragic part is that I know some of the husbands – and only confirms on the adage that ‘all that glitters is not gold’!

Time people changed – and put their family first. Take care of your family! Work can never be first – to me at least!

Merry Xmas – and a Happy New Prosperous Safe Peaceful Year 2013!

Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

Posted at: www.majidall.com and at www.majidwrite.com

The Medical Hippocratic Oath! Reply

The Hippocrates Oath!

The Oman Daily Observer – Features – Sunday – December 23rd 2012.

Between Us Only!

In all my writings, it is my strong belief and firm conviction that I do not put down into writing anything unless I have rechecked the facts first – and that is also why I prefer to use personal examples (or those that I know clearly of) to illustrate and demonstrate on the points being raised!

Doctors 2

Images – Doctors – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

And like I always say too – there is need to say this thing that has come out in The Society now! We are part of the global village and whatever happens in other parts of the world – especially nearer the home – we cannot isolate ourselves from the rest of the world in things and events in catching up with us! Besides – as a Citizen – it is my right to express myself here at least in this column!

According to Wikipedia – The Hippocratic Oath is an oath historically taken by Physicians (Doctors) and other healthcare professionals swearing to practice medicine professionally, ethically and honestly. It is widely believed to have been written either by Hippocrates, often regarded as the father of western medicine, or by one of his students.

Doctors 1

Images – Doctors – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

The oath is written in Ionic Greek (late 5th century BC) – and is usually included in the Hippocratic Corpus. Of historic and traditional value – the oath is considered a rite of passage for practitioners of medicine in many countries – although nowadays the modernized version of the text varies among them. The Hippocratic Oath is one of the most widely known of Greek medical texts. It requires a new physician to swear upon a number of healing gods that he will uphold a number of professional ethical standards.

Incidentally my late Father always wanted one of his children to be a Doctor – but sorry old man to have let you down!

Last one month my nephew HMS wife got quadruplets (four children) at Khoula Hospital – but unfortunately they were premature – and one had died at birth. The other three survived and were put in incubators. This is because they were underweight. After some time two were released – leaving one still in the Hospital.

One the day that the Mother was told to go and collect the third child – a boy – she received the shock of her life to find that the baby ‘had died’ in the hospital – and the baby was left outside the incubator – probably some other baby needed it more now?

No one challenges that death is in the hands of Our Lord The Creator – but at the same time one would be crazy to run fast across the road of fast flying cars – and say that if my time has come then it will have come!

The problem is that we especially Omanis – like the rest of us from the Interior stock – are fatalistic in nature and in approach – and this has allowed our adversaries to take advantage of us – and in making us marginalised – and victims of our good nature, character and welcoming to others – in addition to respecting!

In my book – A Cry For Help! – quoting for example – not to try to sell and or advertise my books! – I wrote this loving part of a son to her dying Mother. Titled Goodbye, Our Mama! – in Memoriam! In it I said – Quote – Also if you as The Head of The Medical Team have already reached a decision with one member of the family – in this case me as the eldest – you should stick to that agreement – otherwise it causes distrust and divisions in the family especially when death comes in – as it did! – Unquote. You can read the article in the site www.majidall.com and in above.

No one knows what really happened – from coming to collect your live-to-go-home-child to the despair, doom and disaster of dead-to-go-bury-child! What really happened in between? Was the doctor qualified as a Paedetrician to handle the case? Or is it the usual ‘trial-and error new-grounds-to-discover-and explore New Doctors with little – and or minimal experiences syndromes?

There was a similar column in this same newspaper by one young Omani Columnist – on the very same subject. We do not want to make the doctors to be scared and concerned on practicing medicine! But at the same time we do not want them to be care-free and careless – especially when they see they are dealing with poor disadvantaged people that have no Wastah (Influence!) – and it does not bother or concern them – or they expect no favours to be received in return.

A poor disadvantaged person feels equally for his child – if not more – because this is the best thing that had happened to him. Unless some Doctors are taken to task – they lose their licenses – and fines and penalties are imposed these things will continue unabated! Those in positions to look into and take care of such things must do their jobs – professionally, ethically and principally – otherwise they should quit – and let those that can be more responsible and accountable take over their jobs and responsibilities!

I stand corrected here – with sincere apologies!

Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

The Nemesis! Reply

Between Us Only!

The Nemesis!

These two weeks there were these news – apart from the usual ones in the Arab World of Egypt and Syria as main – of the death of Jacintha Saldanha – the Indian nurse subject of a prank Australian Radio Show by two Greig and Christian.

The other was the massacre of 20 lost-lives innocent children below the age of 10 by one crazed Adam Lanza. This happened in Sandy Hawk Elementary School in Newtown – Connecticut. At one time Newtown was considered as the 5th most peaceful state in USA! Even the USA President Barack Hussein Obama was emotional close to tears in his speech!

This week I was also very much disturbed, annoyed and perturbed by the USA Publishing Company not publishing my books – already paid for in full – because of the question of Images – though I had explained clearly to their Vice President Operations Lady with a signed document explaining the sources of my images. The books were fully paid for since July 2012 – but it has dragged on to date – one excuse after the other – in the end to decide either they publish my books – or refund me in full.

It should be stressed that they had published my earlier books – including The Arab Management books – please see www.myown-ebooks.com. I guess they are reluctant to publish the books is because of the articles inside the book – Between Us Only! Series – and some of the subjects could be sensitive to them – or they are just being protective of their own kind. Some of the subjects?

  • Rising Islamophobia – Live and Let Live!
  • The Arabs Will Never Learn!
  • No More Wars – Please!
  • Stop The Gaza Blockade!
  • The Jewish Diaspora!
  • We Need To Speak Out!
  • You Reap What You Sow!
  • A Question of Loyalty!
  • What Goes Around; Comes Around!

That is the only reason I can gather for their reluctance is for the above. Depending on how much they will refund – or change their minds in publishing the books – further action will depend on all the above only!

And of course, denying the voice to the other side. Being a Muslim and an Arab. That is how bad things are now in USA – they have lost their self respects and conscience – lost the old USA that protected the rights and freedom of others! Great shame!

One of the books was on Road Safety – the Novel type – carrying real true stories of Accident victims and their impact on their lives now – and with the increasing road accidents and fatalities especially in Oman GCC now! How can one even stop this book to be published? It smacks of open hatred, animosity – and racialism only!

Anyway, I was keen to write more on the poor massacred children – as children are children – devoid of race, creed, colour or nationality. We have seen poor Gazan children massacred in their homes by Israeli bombardments and air force strikes – just as we have seen so many others ‘collateral damages’ in other parts of the world!

I have also read about this visit from The USA Assistant Secretary of State – Beth Jones – with the title Oman a partner in global fight against terror and the very nice words she had to say about Oman in general!

Being that upset and annoyed – I will concentrate for today on the death of poor Nurse Jacintha Saldanha – with due respects and apologies here!

***

In my career life, I have worked with many Western bosses and peers. I always made a point that as soon as the main meal is served (and sweets!) – I make it a point to leave as soon as I can – especially when it is not only me from the family at the party – because this is usually followed by teases, jokes and pranks – some to unimaginable and intrusive personal levels! Of course the usual excuse is the free drinks being served!

To the extent that the next day they would come in – a bit better off – but still not sober – to apologise – if I had upset and or annoyed you in any way in that party! The people that usually get a special battering and treatment are those like us that are teetotalers – and not smokers!

Of course the belief was also – if you joined the fun and melee – the more chances were there for your promotion and advancement! And if you cannot beat them – join them syndromes! And if you have a Porsche, Mercedes or BMW as your car fancy – and or can play golf – the better still!

With due respects here! Not all of them were like that – there were many also that respected and esteemed local customs, traditions, heritage and culture. In one of the incidents that I will never ever forget in my life was this top CEO in the International Company who did not take offence – but actually joined in – when one of the senior Omanis (by age that is!) started using his hands to eat with us at the table!

I was trying to tactfully counsel him to use the spoon at least – but the good man got what I was trying to say – and told me – ‘let him enjoy his meal – you know what – I will join in! And though in the end the man came a hero – and a very wise leader – and not only as a the usual manager – that is asked to come in and intervene – but ends up supporting his own staff – and against a customer! Because the customer is an outsider!

Now you may well be asking me why I take the long road to come to the point – and what has Company parties have got to do with the earlier part of my column? If you know me – and the way I write – and straight from the hip – or the heart – depending on whom I am addressing here! With tongue in cheek speaking!

Do not forget I am a very angry and pissed off person still. People do not realise how attached we Writers are to our works – and how a Writer feels when his (her) books are marginalised and sidelined – and how traumatic, painful and emotional that can be! So please bear with me!

The point I want to make is that there are some people that always feel they can do whatever they want to do with others – and they are self-appointed on higher levels and echelons. This goes across the divide between locals and expatriates – guests and the invited – to the hosts too!

True we all enjoy fun, mirth and humour – which human being does not – in the real sense of the word? But sometimes doing pranks against or at the expense of others can be tolerated if one comes out finally and apologises it was a joke, tease and prank – immediately after – and not let the person feel so small and insignificant – so belittled and so insulted – that the poor person even decides to end his or her life – by committing suicide!

I must also admit and say this thing too – because we do not know how long we shall live in this world. Yesterday my cousin of 30 years old had died in Tanzania – after only a cold and flu! He did not recover – got high temperature – his treatment was bungled – and soon went into a coma – and death!

I must admit I have had many differences with peoples – sometimes I become very emotional and upset – and the worst thing I do is put my feelings on paper – and for some not open and objective people – that is like pouring fuel over fire – because they simply will not take that in! But find me a perfect person in this world – I would like to meet him (or her!) – And you too!

Only Our Lord and Our Creator is Perfect – no one else is!

Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

P.S. I am not going to put any images today – that is how upset I am today

 

Omanisation – At The Crossroads! Reply

Between Us Only!

Omanisation  –  At The Crossroads!

I have to admit in writing this I was very much perturbed and disturbed by one ‘friend’ telling me to stop writing any further because you are ‘just exposing yourself to unnecessary situations’ – and besides ‘you have said it yourself that you are tired banging your head against brick walls – and just having your head swollen and red in the whole process per se’!

 Omani Faces - Toyota

Toyota Advert

But then there were others encouraging me not to despair – surrender and give up – because we need people like you to still be able to speak out and say the truth – however bitter and ugly that we do not want to hear and or accept! Please continue to act as our ‘Conscience-Keeper’ – and keeping things from sliding down further in ‘this dark alley’ – and then we all end as Losers. If you have heard of the story of The Father, The Son and The Donkey – they were going to sell! – you will probably get the gist of the meaning of what I am trying to say here – so please bear with me – and as a citizen I think I have the right to say what I feel and what my views are!

 First of there is need to say this thing that has come out in The Society now! We are part of the global village and whatever happens in other parts of the world – especially nearer the home – we cannot isolate ourselves from the rest of the world in things and events catching up with us! We still have the ‘Old Guards’ in our midst that want no changes – and even if they are a few – but still are powerful and influential – especially when ‘the element of fear the change, unknown and untested’ still crops in and overrides!

 I have written so many articles on all the above and even in a desperate and last attempt in writing the book A Cry For Help! – published in September 2009 – well before all the troubles hit us in The Arab World. But I was branded all types of names and colours – and I never ever again got a HR job that lasted more than 3 months – because being already a sick person with acute diabetic case – high blood pressures and eyes problems it was not worth me continuing to tag and struggle along – because as the Brits say ‘ ‘if you cannot stand the heat – quit whilst you still can’!.

 And to quit I have done – even if it was just as quick as 18 minutes to pack my things – and leave the Offices in that time! Even if this time are fellow Omanis as my Top Bosses – but then they are unsure of themselves – and have many Advisors – many of them anti-me expatriates – with long elephant memories!

 Recently, I have again been perturbed and greatly disturbed to read articles talking about grand generalizations of The Omani Youth and The Applicant. Forget me that was born outside – but my parents and elders were all born in Oman – including grandparents! Including my children and grandchildren! I do not know of any other place that is home except this one – that took me in as a refugee under United Nations – returning home to our family ancestry – and giving me a passport that I am very proud and esteemed of. His Majesty Accession was the silver lining in the storm – after our families lost heavily in the bloody revolution – and the massacres and ethnic cleansing that followed!

 You will, therefore, no doubt appreciate why I am a keen advocate and pusher from day one for Omanisation – Youth Recruitment – Training and Development!

 Though my future prospects and career were much tarnished and damaged by not ‘towing the line’ – like others did – but frankly I have no regrets to date – and even if my life were represented – I would still do ‘the very same things – all over again’!

 In one of the funerals I had attended some 30 years ago – I wrote about this! – There were these people from one Office cursing the boss who had just died – and still warm and not buried yet! It made my flesh crawl – and I could not believe my ears! When I queried them – then why did you come to the funeral – they retorted something about being forced by the Management to come – but if they had their say – they would rather go home – and watch television!

 I wondered to myself why there would be so much hatred and animosity – to the extent ‘that he is now going to burn in his grave to eternal damnation’! As a HR Professional – that made me so scared – but it was a great learning point and lesson to me on life – and life’s aspects!!

 In another funeral gathering some years later –  I saw men over forties actually crying – because ‘the good boss had died – and who will look after us now? I was then so elated and felt great that though I was losing money heavily in my job career and future – but Thank God – I was in the right track – at least!. I would prefer this – than being cursed –  even at death!

 You may well ask why I am worried – again? From what I can read of people making generalized statements – and branding everything under one colour – rather than the rainbow and other colours – it is very scary and frightening! I have this fear that what people are writing is for the particular interests and welfare of ‘some die-hard old guards’ that do not want to change with the times – even if they would plummet us all into this decadence, malaise and decay of darkness and uncertainties – and we have still not learnt from what we see live being played out in the Television and Media news!

 Admittedly it is true that even in each basket there are bad eggs (fish) – but unfair, unethical, unprofessional and unprincipled generalizations of the whole lot is unjustified and unfair!

 Like I have also said many times before – the expatriate here is under natural pressures to outdo and outperform the adversary competition in local recruitment – otherwise there are no considerations, sympathy or patience for him – but the same guy can easily disappoint you easily – when he is back at his home relaxed environment.

 Besides, the point also that we are a young nation – just 50 years old – and still evolving and changing to catch up with the rest of the world – and even our own neighbours. Trust me – I am not an Apologist for lower standards, quality and complacency – and I do not also believe in window dressing – patch-up repair works either.

 But there sure is far more room for so much further changes and improvements – and further calculated risk taking. I was really scared to hear why the Teenagers prefer public jobs than private – but the ‘real excuses give’ are just doubtful and do not hold any credible evidence and proof – because there is far more than meets the eye here!

Admittedly it is true we have some issues and problems still – but I believe they are exaggerated and blown out of proportions!

Maybe some people should read (again?) my two books in Arab Management – Psychology of Arab Management Thinking and A Cry For Help! I think it is all in there! But I still stand corrected – with provided credible proof and evidence! See www.myown-ebooks.com – with sincere apologies!

 The future belongs to these youth – and for their destiny, legacy and destiny – even if there will be a lot of errors and mistakes – before we reach our final destination – goals, targets and focuses – Amin Amen The time to do that is now – not after! History and future generations will judge us by what we do now – not do or even any inaction.

Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

Posted at: www.majidall.com and at www.majidwrite.com

Firefight – Or Deal? Reply

 

Majid New (2)

Between Us Only!

The Oman Daily Observer – WeekendDecember 12th 2012

A Question of Pragmatism!

Or Continue To Firefight?

Several years ago – as part of The Quality Improvement Projects – QIP – and as part of my function and responsibilities in the then Human Resources – and with The Management and The Board Approvals – I had set up to conduct what they call as a Customer Staff Satisfaction Survey (Climate Survey) on our Staff – and how satisfied and or not they were on the services provided by us in Human Resources! The survey was supposed to be Anonymous – meaning that you got to say whatever you wanted to say – and the Forms could be downloaded and typed – after ticking off the boxes – if you just did not want to add in any comments!

There was – of course – some resistance from the Top HR guy – fellow local – who preferred for the dirt to be piled up – and still be pushed under the carpet – than the reality and the truth was to be found out! But he was overridden by the more Senior Expatriate Director – and who was pragmatic and smart enough to check off the route to Board Members – by himself explaining why it was necessary to conduct the survey.

People being people – you cannot change some – there was room for making trouble and mischief – but even with these on board – the survey was very successful indeed. Soon after some of our competitors came to us asking if they could see the Sample Questionnaire – and if they could use the questions also?

In one of the most glaring area where things were seen not going on fine and okay were areas identified as ‘Grey Areas’ in the Company Policies and Procedures – areas that had never ever cropped up before – or the circumstances and the situation were slightly different – or even vastly different – from those shown and recorded in the books. Including the communication levels – between The Staff, Applicants and The Company in itself!

It is next to impossible to get all the situations and scenarios in – something – or someone will always crop up – that was not seen or identified before. That is why they are called Changes and Amendments – and sometimes they may be things just facing you – but you just missed!

But the Real Shocker was this. Following up these issues with the HR Function (and others) to get satisfactory and fulfilling results. This meant that the affected person had continuously to follow up his case and situation – let alone by emails and correspondences – but even by personal visits and follow-ups – but still not get any answer or result. It was a complex situation – and there were many short fuses tempers explosions all around. And the biggest excuse was – We do not want to start a precedent – for others to follow! Or as the soldier had said – I am just following orders!

So the main fundamental question had still remained – will we continue to firefight these complex and complicated type of questions – and how do we communicate back our responses to the applicants. Do we do it the way of silence and ignore till the person gives up following his case – as we do not have the guts and courage to say No emphatically and forcefully – or by implication for the answer to get back to them?

Or do we handle the bull by the horns – and tackle the situations to come to a satisfactory end result – and make the required necessary changes to the rules and the regulations – and for future references? And do we communicate the changes to all others – and possibly others – usually the locals that normally did not apply – because ‘their expectations are always lower’?

Or do we communicate openly and transparently – ethically, professionally and with principled approach? Do we communicate better to let people know of the results of their applications – or do we continue to remain uninvolved, detached and care free – and let the applicant go up and down till he gets the results he wants – or gives up in trying – till the next time – and or another applicant?

The question of Image is very important here. What is the point of having all the slogans and the advertisements – the websites – the Call Centres – Hotlines etc – when nothing actually moves? You are moved from the Branch to the Head Office – from the Head Office back to the Branch. To the Marketing Department – back to Finance – from Finance back to HR – HR back to Marketing – the vicious cycle never ends – and you are increasingly getting incensed and upset – and nothing gets done anyway!

I have noticed this thing – with due respects! Forget emails! Forget correspondences! Forget Call Centres! Forget all the slogans and the adverts! If you want anything done you have 2 routes only – use W Wastah (Influence) if you have! But if you are like me – No W? Be prepared to move around – up and down – with all your forms and all your support documentation – and be ready to physically move around! Nothing much has changed – whatever that office – nowadays even that place in the private and business sector even – no longer at one time only the Public Office monopoly – but now it – the disease – is everywhere!

People have just lost interest – and there is no care or bother anymore! Sometimes the establishments have grown up to be too big – and cannot cope anymore! It maybe also that those in the frontline are few and overstretched! And with the blame culture – everyone is scared to take responsibility – and action!

And if you try to be hard and obstinate – you will start the process all over again – because even in the private sector – the application may just have disappeared! So it is a very good idea to keep always extra copies – and try to be nice, peaceful and patient – you need the service and help – not the person behind the desk and the counter!

Of course there are few exceptions – but are very few and isolated! May Allah God Help us all – Amin Amen

Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

Posted at: www.majidall.com and at www.majidwrite.com

This Could Explain ….! Reply

December 10, 2012

Majid Al Suleimany

A – My Earlier Articles.

A.01 – The First Article

  • A Fresh Perspective Outlook on Omanisation – March 1982.
  • Times of Oman.
  • PDO Al Fahal Magazine

A.02 – The Second Article

A.03 – The Third Article

B Started as a Columnist in The Oman Daily Observer

A.02 Above – A.03 Below.

Please note that the interview was conducted 12 years ago – and I still think relevant and valid to a larger extent!

Visit my www.majidbooks.com on my Arab Management books (2) and Between Us Only! series…

Feel free to download, copy and forward….

Take Care!

Majid Said Nasser Al Suleimany

 

My Books – by Production Dates – www.myown-ebooks.com

www.majidbooks.com and www.bethesafedriver.com

 

Above – Between Us Only Series!

Arab Management Books – Above.

 

The New Books (Three)

Book Special Site – http://www.bethesafedriver.com

Time To Quit! Reply

Majid Al SuleimanyTime To Quit Is Now!

Giving Up – Now!

  • · Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money – Jules Renard

I must admit that I am a sick person suffering from being an acute diabetic case and with eyes problems – cataract and glaucoma too. I also suffer from complications of so many other cases.

I had tried hard to send my books as gifts and compliments to Top VIPs and High Profile peoples – and hardly any thanks – with the exception of a few expatriate CEOs only.

Despite designing a Road Safety Website – www.bethesafedriver.com and writing a book on Road Safety Novel Type based on true life stories for others to know and learn from – nothing much has changed in being recognised and in acceptance!

Despite two Arab Management books – Psychology of Arab Management Thinking! And A Cry For Help! – even if you go to books worldwide you will find them being shown – at home nothing has changed much!

Only peoples’ concentrations are what I write in my columns – and why people would still prefer for the dirt to be pushed under the carpet – and me to shut up my mouth – not to open it – and speak!

So today – Saturday – December 8th 2012 – I am – finally – Giving Up!

We have all seen these Great Bands that had made to the top – and stayed there for quite awhile – and then they decided to disband! We have seen similar about dramas and soap operas – like Friends, Seinfield etc doing the same. Even stars like Oprah Winfrey etc.

The reason they give is the same. When you are on top – that is the time to quit – not earlier – not later! Quit whilst you have still made it – and quit where there is still some head room!

As fans that know me well I stumbled into writing more as a hobby and passion. I had never ever planned and or imagined to make a career in it. And a person who wants to make a career in writing should well know – do not depend on it for a living – otherwise you will starve to death. The story of Moawiyya Nur – the sad tragic Sudanese boy (journalist) who starved to death in trying to make a career in writing in downturn Cairo in the 1950s will well confirm and authencicate!

If I had been successful in my consultancy business and or in my career – it is most likely that I would not have gone into writing.

Today I have published 8 books – all the details are in my websites – www.myown-ebooks.com and www.majidbooks.com and www.bethesafedriver.com

2 books are in Arab Management – 1 Road Safety – and 5 in my column writings The Oman Daily Observer – Between Us Only! – At My Workplace! And Society Speaks! (KOM).

Lately I have felt strong vibes and feelings to quit. I feel it in me to stop writing. Besides saying all that I had wanted to say – nobody cares or feels what I write or say. I am just banging my head against brick walls – getting it swollen and red – and bleeding too.

Nobody appreciates or recognises what I do – anyway! Wasted time, efforts and energies – and just wasted loyalties and feelings too.

I am also not happy how my columns are being treated. Sometimes I am told we did not receive it – though copied to my addresses (and others) confirm as received. I do not know which are my days anymore.

It was supposed to be every Sunday and Wednesdays – but now are so irregular that I am myself confused!

There is an East African saying that goes like this – one does not have to tell you to go if you are a guest – the telltale signals are enough for you to know it is time that you left! Leave yourself!

I really had tried… hard!

Wishing you all the very best – and with sincere and genuine apologies –

Citizen – Majid bin Said bin Nasser Al Suleimany

Suing The Husband! Reply

Between Us Only!

Suing The Husband! 

Last two weeks back, I had sent out this to a group of my frequent Readers and Fans – asking for their opinion! – Quote – After Compliments,

Today I got inadvertently involved in a situation case where a husband gave me his life story of how his wife sued him because He had smashed her car due to reckless driving. Though the car was a write off and if you see the pictures you cannot imagine he came out alive!

True the man was dangerously driving but a wife would feel relieved and happy to see her husband and the father of her children come out alive! This had happened outside Oman. The man wrote to me because he reads my columns and websites. He was asking for my own opinions and views on the subject matter!

accident 2

Incidentally the car was not insured and she had forbidden him to drive her car! But still….! You know in advanced countries you can sue the spouse but the spouse is not allowed to give witness against each other. Complicated and confusing?

Court Scene

There is this saying… The true woman comes out when the husband is broke – he lost his job – and the true man when he suddenly becomes rich!

What do you think? – Unquote

Kareena Heroine

As expected most of the responses were based on the same sex support – the married women (and girls) supported the wife in her actions – and the usual men to men support. The drawn lines were visibly clear for all to see – which portrays more revealing dangerous, ominous, demonstrative and hazard divisionary lines for me at least. Only a few tried to look at both sides of the equation (coin)!

Nobody had mentioned the effects of all these on the children – that see their parents not talking to each other at home – and using the children to communicate. For example – Tell your father to go and buy cheese – there is no cheese in the house! And the answer – Tell your mother I have no money – use the margarine instead! I do not know if they can see the film of themselves in such acts – how stupid they all look! Especially in front of the children – and more with the teenagers!

accident 2

With the later there seems to be growing phobia and fear of getting married – seeing the dramas and melodramas being played out at the homes – that can easily fill in for live act drama series we see nowadays in the television channels – and us too not left behind in catching up! I do not know where all these are leading to – and what the outcomes and future going to be – except more pain and suffering only – to those in the house, in the streets, in the offices – and into the society too!

I know of a couple that had now separated for good – and one day the poor lady was looking at me playing with my grandchildren – and she said to me – I wished that now in hindsight we had really tried hard to stay together – to enjoy the advantages and the benefits of having grandchildren visit us in one house – instead of two houses – and at different times too! Oh – how I envy you – M! The most critical and confusing times come during Eid celebration times – for the children – and the grandchildren included!

Frankly, we say a lot of things not positive about The Westerners – but even if they may sue each other in courts – as they also do – but in many cases – they decide to keep the children out of the mess – and even keep them informed – and explain too why they are doing this – with the added proviso – As children it is expected – that you may not understand and appreciate this one now – but one day when you have grown up – and have your own children – hopefully you will understand and appreciate then! We can learn a few things from them too!

The problem in marriages nowadays with especially both couples working is Money. My money – this is not your money! Your money – this is my money! Yours and Mine! Mine and Yours. And then in addition to self-preservation, selfishness, one-minded, subjectiveness – consumerism enters in! The wife is ready to buy a new dress that costs so much – but will refuse to dish that amount to pay the husband’s car installments – even if she will still use the car – as many times she does too!

And what is the most shocking part is seeing the acts, show-offs and pretensions outside the home to outsiders – whilst everything is breaking up into tiny pieces and smithereens at home – plain and visible for all others to see – if not themselves only! And then when all these things are done just to impress – and not in reality – that is where the whole fiascos and melodramas lie!

I do not know what has happened to us nowadays – but when I was a young boy – we all lived in the same house – my mother, elder mother – and all the children together – and sometimes there were fights of the children of the same mother than across – and in rare cases between one of the wives to the husband than across the wives!

When we returned to Oman in the 1970s we all lived in one house – with our wives and children too included! Now even the children have their own homes – and if we meet the family as one all together – apart from Eid days – then we are very lucky! I just imagine the further disintegration of homes as the days go by – and sometimes if we soul search and deep self analyse – we can only feel that despite increasing money, materialism and consumerism – we have lost heavily – and the institution of marriage has received a beating that will never be able to recover from ever again! God help us – our kids and their kids – and our future generations, history, legacy and destiny only – Amin Amen!

Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

Complexities in Human Resources Jobs! Reply

Saturday January 19th, 2008

Majid Al Suleimany

Magazine – Mawarid – Resource – HR Our Most Valuable Asset!

Reflections of a HR Man!

Complexities in Human Resources Jobs!

 The best compliment that I ever got in my life came from two CEOs – one Omani and the other British. They said the very same thing to me – Thank you for looking after our staff, make them all re-motivated, and resuscitated once again. If there were more peoples like you, this country would definitely change a lot in the corporate world.

Why do many people still to this day wrongly think that Human Resources (some now call it Human Capital) is a similar job to that as simply being just an Administration job. In actual fact, they are divergently and completely differently – though some peoples will continue to see them as being twin-alike and as the same. This comes from either ignorance or lack of appreciation and estimation between the two – either by lack of coherent awareness and knowledge or sometimes in just plain culpability in actual design and retrospective default. The more when it is the Senior Management in the corporate world who do the tasking etc here.

Many people still think that the Human Resources Professional tasks are only to arrange Labour Clearances, NOC, and Visas for the Expatriate Staff New Intake, or renew for those ones already in existent. They are to arrange accommodation and travel for the Staff. To arrange for traveling tickets and allowances for the staff, whether for expatriates going on leave or for Omanis also going on business travel and training abroad, or even locally. Their jobs are only to order furniture and equipment for Office use and or for Staff accommodation. Theirs are only to pay for the electricity, water and other facilities being used in the company premises and staff accommodation. And theirs so like meeting and receiving visitors and new staff, or saying goodbye procedures as they leave the country.

And sometimes to arrange for training, conferences, meetings etc – whether internally or for outside customers and clients with the Company. And of course who else would arrange for the parties and get together occasions and giving out awards and recognitions if not Human Resources Staff? HR for short. A nickname that has so stuck that even the Arabic only speaking staff knows it better than the literal translation into Arabic??

Why do peoples think so marginally narrow about the HR Professional? In some establishments – perhaps because of the laws of the land for the jobs to be occupied by only locals – they make the position head report to the Finance and Administration Director, The Operations Director and or The Chief Operating Officer (COO) who is conveniently Expatriate in order to ensure that the position would still report in many cases to the Expatriate Boss. If sometimes you are lucky, your title would be raised high up to put your heads into the clouds of positions like Deputy General Manager (reporting to The GM Expatriate) or General Manager – HR reporting to the CEO / MD – who is again conveniently Expatriate – so control, dominance and direction is maintained even if the grand title is still there. Only in some Commercial Institutions like Banks, you will find the CEO as Omani – but even there questions may well arise and be asked if he or she is in real control – or is just a window dressing exercise in real aspects?

Sometimes grand titles are brought in to justify expatriate recruitment into these jobs. Like HR Consultant, Expert, Professionals etc – or other grand titles. It would be okay if they were real competent, experts, talented and professional HR Officials – but when it is a non-HR Professional but is just a native speaker and knows well ‘copy and paste’ or ‘cut and paste’ – or even local non-HR – it makes ridicule, jest, fun, tease and mockery of the whole thing – and is just an insult to one’s intelligence and a plain fiasco thing!

Sometimes polarization and local differences will be encouraged to be set in, especially in New Ventures outside the Capital of Muscat and for those where the Head Offices are in the Regions, or where the major operations lie. A local person – who is not even from the HR function and discipline – would be so be appointed from that area being born from that domicile – and more importantly well known in that locality to do the Company’s bidding and (dirty) works – with explanations like we aim to provide jobs as first preference from those in that locality.

Personally, I have no hang-ups if it is a genuine and justifiable case, but when the nominees are incompetent, lacking the required skills, education, training, talents and expertise – but just brought in to fill in the numbers and make the feuding different local officials feel happy and contented – that raises a lot of questions to the justifications, ethics, professionalism, ethics and quality of the whole thing. Especially if those from other areas are even better qualified and experienced, but are simply being denied because they come from other areas or had the misfortune of being ‘born outside’ – or even worse of their parents’ originality and ethnicity.

These are very dangerous and explosive things to be allowed to come and creep in. The worst case scenarios when the expatriates controlling the situation misbehave and conduct themselves badly to such an extent that they are plain crude, rude, arrogant, vicious and aggressive to everyone in the company – but sometimes the locals take a special beating and raw treatment of all the works. And when they complain? They are told to ‘bear and grin’ it because we want the investments to come in and stay – and in the long run ‘things will take care of themselves’ and to be patient and tolerant, and not to rock the boat and system.

What are we waiting for? Till a real disgruntled, unhappy and frustrated person would ‘listen to the devil’ and do something very nasty, ugly and unexpected – and then everyone will ask Why? What happened? Why and how it came to this situation? Don’t we read the newspapers and see things in the TV happening in other places for us to awake and see, open our ears and hear and open our mouths to speak??

For a Company to survive nowadays, it has to be appreciated that people are its best resources. The question to ask is this – whatever happened to the principle and maxim that human resources are a company’s best and most important resource – even more than capital and any other resource – even if combined into one lot? And you need strong, competent, talented, experienced, skilled, educated, qualified and bold cum strong Human Resources Officials to take control and to be in charge – and who are principled, feeling, caring and touching-hearts simply and smugly put. Such HR Officials, who can make a stand, take care and control – and be noticed.

But if you still think his main job is just to arrange just visas and labour cards, and keep his mouth shut and just do what he is being told – what is the point anyway. It will look all calm and peace on the cover level – whilst cinder fire is burning quietly and deeply underground – to come out and explode unexpectedly and suddenly one day.

We need to hear our Staff who are deeply hurt, frustrated and unhappy. And especially to remove those in control who treat peoples badly, unfairly, unethically, unprofessionally, unprincipled etc whatever you have it. And if that person is an expatriate – why is he or she still an invited and welcomed guest in the country – when he or she reduces all staff to tears, pain, hurt and disgust – and we should concentrate on our own anyway and in maintaining our values, customs, heritage, pride, traditions and of course health and well-being. More important when staff are disenchanted frustrated and unhappy, the establishment and the economy suffers too!

We must aim always to prevent and stop a few ego seeking lack of self-confidence and trusting few Individual bosses making the rest of the working dreading staff lives misery, pain and havoc – and need just little showers to not to report to work! And so scared that Saturday is in, and back to work syndromes!

By: –

Majid Al Suleimany

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