For Sunday August 19, 2012
My Website – www.majidall.com
Between Us Only!
v The person who severs the bond of kinship (family) will not enter Paradise – The Hadith – Sahih Al Bukhari
v Family is just accident. They don’t mean to get on your nerves. They don’t even mean to be your family, they just are – Marsha Norman
v A family is a place where minds come in contact with one another – Buddha.
v Families are forever, and have always wondered if the slogan was meant as a promise or a threat – Brady Udall
v All happy families resemble one another, but each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way – Leo Tolstoy
Last week my article – Respect Your Parents – went very well. It is still there in my above website.
A long time a good family sent me the following – which I will share with you today on this Happy Day of Eid. He sent me this with the advent and arrival of my first twin girls. He meant well. He just said – Quote –
If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn . . .
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight . . .
If a child lives with fear, he learns to be apprehensive . . .
If a child lives with pity, he learns to feel sorry for himself . . .
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy . . .
If a child lives with jealousy, he learns to feel envy . . .
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty …
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient . . .
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns to be confident . . .
If a child lives with praise, he learns to be appreciative . . .
If a child lives with acceptance, he learns to love . .
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves…
If a child lives with honesty, he learns what truth is . . .
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice . . .
If children live with recognition, they learn to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn to be generous.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith in himself and those about him . . .
If a child lives with friendliness, he learns the world is a nice place in which to live – unquote.
Long time ago when our late Father was still alive, in our usual Friday family get-together – there were the usual now and then usual disagreements. Like in most times – the source and issue at stake was just minor and significant – where the best course of action was ‘to agree to disagree’ – and move on! But like I always say – After Offices – Family is where people most misbehave – and the worst of people, their nature and their character and personality come out!
So poor dad was saying to me – If your Mother and I are gone – you are supposed to be the de facto head of this family – whether you like it or not – and whether you are rich or not – whether you are powerful and influential or not – and whether you are still respected and esteemed or not. It just does not make any difference or change to the situation – but you will still be that head. It is like if your nose smells – but you cannot cut it – because the loser is you. That smelling nose are some of the family members – or the ‘black sheep’ of the family in slang terms!
It is not an easy task for you – but the most important thing is to maintain respect and control more by persuasion and diplomacy and tact – rather than wanting to impose yourself on others – and your views, outlooks, focuses – and whatever else!
People will challenge you – people will try to upset and annoy you – people will try to bring you down – to disgrace and embarrass you – but you must still maintain a cool presence of mind – and try your level best to maintain as a leader by examples and demonstration in life – not empty words – but being real, practical and realistic!
Show by example and in demonstrative guidance and leadership – not by trying short term and quick measures that will only backfire – turn a bad situation more worse – and make you as The Loser – rather than The Winner! My father was not that much educated – but was a very wise man indeed! Sadly my father had passed away before he could see me his son writing!
I was watching this film in Al Jazeera TV which should inspire us all! The film is titled – Beirut Buenos Aires Beirut. An Argentinian woman (Graciela) woman goes in search of her Lebanese heritage and ends up uniting two families from two different worlds.
Graciela is a 37-year-old Argentinian woman of Lebanese descent living in Buenos Aires. Before her great-aunt died, she told Graciela a family secret. Her father [Mohammed], Lebanese by birth, did not die in Argentina. He left his family and returned to Lebanon. Angry at his departure, his wife and children cut off communication with him,” Graciela explains.
One of the last things they heard of Mohammed is that he married again and might have had more children in Lebanon. My great-aunt gave me a box with letters and photos that she had kept …. Some had never been read. Somebody once said that a letter always arrives at its destination,” Graciela says.
“When I saw the letters, I felt they had been left as a legacy. And I wanted to know more about my family history. Who was Mohammed? Why did he come to live in Argentina? Why did he return to Lebanon? Are there any relatives of mine on the other side of the world?”
Graciela decided to look further into Mohammed’s life and started to retrace his story – from his initial arrival in Buenos Aires and his life in Argentina as an immigrant, to his return to Lebanon.
“I discovered Arab immigrants to Argentina were not as welcome as Europeans. Arab immigration was large, but discreet, because it has always faced intolerance and discrimination,” she says.
In search of Mohammed’s Lebanese family and in order to learn details of Mohammed’s life and her own roots, she travels to Lebanon to trace the threads of a personal story that unfolds as she delves deeper into her family’s past and a different culture.
And finally, after 50 years of separation, she is the catalyst for two families from two different worlds to reunite
Please do take the time and efforts on this Eid to be together with the family – and the relatives – the friends. Please do not forget to keep in touch and in contact with also those in home towns and villages – and those abroad too!
Eid Mubarak Greetings. Please take extra care and precaution – in driving – and please visit my upgraded and new website – www.bethesafedriver.com and let us pray for all those in wars and troubles – and cannot celebrate and be together as Family this time!
By Majid Al Suleimany