The Doha Mall Fire – by Majid Al Suleimany 1

For Sunday June 3rd 2012

 Between Us Only! (Outlook)

The Doha Mall Disaster. 

  • The ink of the Scholar is more holy than the blood of the martyrThe Hadith (Islamic Sayings).
  • Leave to themselves those who do not give any importance to the Divine – and have adopted and consider it as mere play and amusementThe Hadith.
  • That person will not enter Paradise who hath one atom of pride in his heart! – Again The Hadith.
  • Commonsense is not so common – Voltaire.
  • Words once printed, have a life of their own – Carol Burnett
  • Those that do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it – George Santayana
  • I’m dying – one of the three Filipino teachers trapped in the fire told her aunt in a text message – before she succumbed to her death.
  • The children are trapped, the smoke is too thick – Another Filipino teacher to her husband.

Below Images – Villaggio Mall – Doha Qatar.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Images – Tne Triplets that Perished in the fire – and their Parents (New Zealand)

I was reading this article about the fire that had broken out last Monday at the nursery school in the Qatari capital Doha in the city’s Villaggio Mall. In a press conference held in the city on Monday evening – the Qatar’s Government confirmed that 19 had perished: 13 children, four teachers and two civil defence workers. A further 17 people were injured in the fire – four of them children and a number of civil defence workers.

No explanation over how the fire had started has yet been provided. The victims included people from Spain, Japan, the Philippines, Benin and Arab countries – not including Qatar, the officials said.

Two-year old triplets from New Zealand – Lillie, Jackson and Willsher Weekes – have also been confirmed as being among those that were left dead after this huge fire at this shopping mall. “Lillie, Jackson and Willsher came into this world together and were inseparable as siblings, best friends and the joy of our life,” the heart-broken and the tragic couple said in a statement to the Press at the place – and to consoling friends.

More Images Below

Amongst the alleged lapses (1) Mall employees not acting fast enough when the fire erupted – (2) Fire alarms did not go off or rang faintly – (3) No emergency exists at place of fire – (4) No drawings available – (5) The kindergarten was not known to have existed nor was legally sanctioned to be in this mall – (6) Some of the sprinklers in the mall malfunctioned and fire exit doors were locked – and several others.

It is definitely a great tragedy and one can but just imagine the terrible grief and agony that their parents – and the other victims’ families – are facing now – when such young innocent lives are swept away and lost in this way.

About two years back, I was going to this Mall to check on if any of my books were sold still yet at this shopping mall in town. I had written an article about this – because I forgot where I had parked my car. The Omani young boy and girl had really helped me out to locate the car – after pointing it out to them in the security cameras.

It was then easy for them to give me a lift in their car trolley to my parked car. What really impressed me the most was first for them to identify myself as the real owner of the car – and seeing all these cameras watching all the scenes going on – which I would assume there were no blind corners or invisible places not covered by the cameras! It was a great wake-up call for me on the realities and practicalities of life. Sometimes in life we think we know everything – and no one can fool us – but there is still out there far much to learn still – and catch up!

Zakheir Mall Oman Images Below

In the week before that we had the incident at Zakher Mall too in town. We see every day about places that have mysteriously have caught fires – and the usual culprit is blamed to be an electric short circuit. Like in many people – I used to be sarcastic and cynical on this – until I saw it live – at one of the places I used to work when the ceiling lights caught fire – presumably because they have been kept on running for too long – day in and day out.

Like we the Arabs like to say also always in this thing – from the stomach of evil came blessings – and that is how my last Arab Management book – A Cry For Help! – came into being – www.myown-ebooks.com. It was another wake-up call for me on human foibles, vanity and weaknesses – vileness, deceit and betrayals – and truthfully nothing more surprised me any more – even the ominous and sort of prophesied in the book one year later – the Arab Spring Uprisings – and thus the title of the book in a cry for help!

 

It is well understandable that some maybe asking at this particular juncture where is the relationship and the correlation between a mall fire and my books – and perhaps am just finding excuses to propagate and push my books at any possibility? Let me connect the dots and in explaining myself here – if you will give me the chance to do so!

The question that I need to pose here is this. Why do we take things for granted and for surety that nothing can or may happen – until it really does happen – and it does – and again we are caught surprised and unawares – again and again – and all go into fire-fighting and reactive mode? What is this curse on us now? Instead of being pragmatic and active – and as we all know prevention is far better than cure – and if even the cure will work – and if not too late already – or the damage and repercussions have already taken place?

How many times people have written about employees being unhappy at the workplaces? How many times people have written – and spoken too – about how we carry our young children to schools – and how they are being treated in schools too? Accidents about to happen – as the headings go! Even the nurseries and the kindergarten are not spared even! Even live photos and videos are shown – yet we do not still see! It goes in to one ear and out from the other! Till something dastardly and big happens – and the learning curve is again short lived. Till the next time!

There are same or similar situations existing in the Private Schools – and perhaps even in the public schools – and possibly in our own malls too. There are private schools in residential areas – and near homes of residences of people – exposing them to great risks and dangers!

Please forgive me because I am not an Engineer – nor an Architecture or HSE expert or advisor. All I know is writing job descriptions and human resources policies and procedures books. And columns and books – more as a hobby, interest and passion. I did not even attend book-writing or journalist courses – so even in that I just stumbled into writing – and cannot in the real sense of the world put claims to be an expert either!

But let us use some of the faculties given to us by The Lord – our common senses, brains, judgments, analysis and evaluations – our own consciences – of what is right or wrong – our intuitions and perceptions – and whatever else! Till a tragedy or happening will occur than reactively – after the event and in fire fighting – we are all then propelled into action and dynamism.

I personally think it is this fatalistic and do-not-care-a-damn – and do-not-want-to-hear-anything-from-anyone – and also this let-them-wait-and-suffer traits in all of us that is as the main cause of all the problems facing us now and with us – and will be far more with us – if we still continue in these ways and behaviours.

I also hold this my strong view that many of our problems today arise mainly from the ‘poor type and weak personality behaviours and characters people’ – that are in their positions now – not because they are good, competent and capable – but are there merely  more to ‘follow the line – not to rock the boat’ syndrome. They are there just to ensure to ‘keep the lid on’ – ‘just stays on’. They come with ‘killer instincts’ survival – like the sharks – that will attack anything coming near them – even their own – and even if not an adversary or enemy for that matter! Even that person who just wants to say Hello to him!

Lord Have the mercy on all of us – and Protect and Preserve us all – Amin Amen.

Take Care! 

By: – 

Majid Al Suleimany

Bosses Simply Cannot Change! Reply

At My Workplace! (Outlook)

 Bosses Simply Cannot Change! 

  • The exercise of religious duty will not atone for the fault of an abusive tongue!
  • A man cannot be a Muslim till his heart and tongue are so!
  • Humility and courtesy are acts of piety!
  • Whoever has been given gentleness has been given a good portion; in this world and the next!
  • All above from The Hadith (Religious Book Teachings)

It is my way and style of writing that I always try to speak directly to you from my heart and giving you the examples and illustrations from my own experiences and exposures in life – and or from those near me – and from friends that I know. The intention and purpose is that we can all learn from each other – and try to adopt and change accordingly. There is no intention to show off – or to blow my own trumpet – and or to be talking about myself only always – believe me in this!

I do not know about you but if you have read my books – especially Psychology of Arab Management Thinking – www.myown-ebooks.com – you will undoubtedly recall that now I am retired – my best boss will always remain the mixed race African and German lady in my first jobs in Tanzania in 1968 onwards. I still remember her fondly – not because she was tall and pretty – but by the way she treated and respected me.

 

Looked Like Her!

She was drawn to me because I was dedicated and committed – as she had told me herself. But what she liked me more because if she really needed an opinion or view in sometimes how to handle or plan for delicate and sensitive matters she knew where to find me – and she always encouraged me to not to change in this regard – and remain frank and open always. The same counsel and advice was given to me by my Nigerian Director at the oil company place here!

 Incidentally so did my various European bosses in and at different times – though one even dared to confront me saying if he was allowed to terminate an Omani National with no strong reasons – then he would have fired me – and that would have given him the greatest pleasure in life! Yet when I was transferred from him to another Department – he still maintained that he had high respects and esteem for me – and what I was as a person!

 Before he boarded his plane for his final departure from Oman – he called me at 2 a.m. and repeating the same to me. He gave me the same advice – please do not change – but be careful of your own peoples – because they will make (ominous!) great troubles for you. Take care – my friend – he concluded in goodbyes!

  

Images For Demonstration Purposes Only!

Frankly his words all came true – with very few exceptions! One of my worst bosses was a colleague that we worked together in the same level – before he became ‘the boss of my boss’! That is the ways of the world – that the guy you gang with against your boss now knows all your tricks and gimmicks – and makes sure you remain where you are job and promotion-wise – and he has a shield to ‘protect him’ by putting a just created new position of an expatriate boss over you – and making sure that you will never replace that expatriate!

The ironical and tragic part is he is also retired now – and tries his best to crack jokes – and be funny with me. But I pretend to go along – because it is my upbringing and religion more that kicks in – rather than the other niceties like customs, traditions, heritage and culture. He tries to justify his actions by saying to me ‘he was told to do so by higher up’ – and was just following orders. We all have heard that excuse before – even in history and in politics too! 

I think I have written quite a lot and intensively on this particular subject – and perhaps shows more of the disappointments, fall-outs, dismays and frustrations than anything else – like aforementioned from my own particular people – with exception of very few isolated cases. I have not had bosses like Indians, Pakistanis etc – but from indirect ones – and colleagues and peers – and that is why and one of the reasons for my book A Cry For Help! – came into being!

Frankly, if you ask me my worst bosses were those in my last few jobs – be they as temporary and project works even. That is why I have now refused to accept any new offers – even from those people and places I know – for the same very reasons. The situation has gone beyond recompense and repair. Admittedly, I may still need the money – but at this age and particular juncture in my life now – respect and esteem are just more important than just the money itself!

Do I feel that things will ever change for the better in the offices? Frankly, I do not think so! Would they get worse before they get better? Similarly, I do not think so! They will only get worse by the day. Till a breaking point will be reached! Or the stroke that broke the camel’s back! Call me pessimistic – or seeing the half glass full. But this is the ugly, sad and real truth!

 It is not only me saying these things! Look at the other columnists in this newspaper (and others) – and by fellow Omanis too! People are simply not happy in the offices – so they take it out at home. They are not happy at home – so they take it out in the offices! They are not happy at both the home and the offices – so they take it out behind the wheel and on the roads – with more accidents and fatalities. It is a vicious cycle – that goes round and round – and is here to stay – always!

 All because there is no simply meeting of the minds and will – and all because some responsible people simply do not want to change – even if the ground crumples below their own feet!

 And there is no preparedness to hear and listen – and to be wise, pragmatic and realistic in dealings with issues, aspects and problems – and to be objective in putting the country first before individualism, what-is-in-there-for-me selfishness, jealousies and envies!

 Please Take Care!

 By: –

 Majid Al Suleimany

ADDENDUM – How They Behave!

It can be helpful to identify certain unacceptable actions that annoying bosses commit on a regular basis. They can include such actions as:

  • Insulting staff members in a very personal manner, often publicly
  • Invading your personal space without asking
  • Threatening you verbally or non-verbally
  • Sending emailflames
  • Interrupting you rudely during meetings
  • Giving you dirty looks
  • Acting as if you are invisible when it suits them
  • Withholding praise even though you clearly deserve some
  • Second-guessing all the time or demands perfection
  • Making cynical and sarcastic remarks,  jokes or teasing you as a means to deliver a nasty message
  • Reminding you in front of everyone where you stand in the hierarchy
  • Touching you when it’s clear that you don’t want this
  • Making two-faced attacks – you understand one thing from your boss, only to learn later that your boss said something completely opposite to somebody else
  • Stealing clients or accounts from other workers
  • Bad mouthing the firm’s culture
  • Refusing to help or explain anything when asked (but will deny this if pressed by anyone else, and insist it was you who didn’t ask for help), etc.!
  • Use doctrines implanted as a way to control, manipulate and dominate you.
  • Many others…..

My Arab Management books are now in eBooks! Reply

Good News – on My Books!

My Arab Management books are now in eBooks!

May 23, 2012

www.myown-ebooks.com

My Books in Arab Management are now in eBooks format! See below letter from The Publishers Trafford in USA. The book also A Cry For Help! had been converted last month to eBooks.

I believe this is an achievement for an Omani Author, Writer and Columnist to have his books in Arab Management (in English) recognised and established due to the books demand worldwide. Please note that Trafford Publishing USA had converted the books free for this Author due to many requests worldwide.

Books Images

This Psychology book is sold out in Oman bookshops. Sadly they will not order directly and want me to order the books for them! And I am just broke…!

And that is the Oman (Arab) tragedy for all openly to see! I can see similar lack of support for my next book in Road Safety book novel type – see posting here.

Will we ever change? I do not think so! If I was an expatriate and wrote about Omani Castles and or Butterflies – all of us will come forward to help – especially if it is a HER!

Allah Kareem. God Is Great. Amin. Amen.

Subject: eBook Conversion Post Fulfillment for PID_165228
To: <majidalsuleimanybooks@gmail.com>

THE EMAIL – as below: –

Dear Majid Al Suleimany,

Good day!

We are glad to inform you that your Book, Psychology of Arab Management Thinking, has been successfully converted to a new eBook file format. This new eBook version, called EPUB, is quickly becoming the new standard for the eBook industry. The new eBook file does not affect any previous eBook versions you may have for this book. Trafford has submitted the new eBook file to our partner eBook vendors to increase the overall distribution of your book. Your new eBook will appear on each vendor’s website after each company has had a chance to review and process the file. Please note we cannot guarantee your eBook will be accepted by every vendor.

We will do our best to get your book included on as many sites as possible including future partnerships we are or will be working on. If you are curious to know which eBook vendors are carrying your new eBook file, we encourage you to search online using an online search engine. The results there will show you which vendors are currently carrying your title.

Should you have questions about the conversion of your title to an eBook, please email us at ebookservice@authorsolutions.com.

Thanks,

eBook Customer Service Team

 

 

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.trafford.com

From the Publishers Trafford in USA!

So was A Cry For Help! similarly done last month. See books images here…

 

 

The Future Ways! Between Us Only! Reply

For Sunday May 27, 2012 

Between Us Only! (Outlook)

The Future Ways! 

  • You all are not listening to me! – My 7 year grand daughter to us.
  • This is an old type of phone – it has no touch screen – My 5 year old granddaughter to her grandmother.
  • Grandfather – you are diabetic – just eat only little cake – you hear me? – My 5 year old granddaughter.
  • You (English) Come here (Arabic) – to each other!
  • You think we are all small children? We know you are all planning to go to Dubai. You cannot fool us anymore. We also want to go with you this time! – All three of them in unison! 
  • All babies start to speak the first same words – like mama, baba etc – The Babies Film & Documentary.

A long time ago when we were kids, we never dared to want to eat with our parents. The children ate separately – but if ‘you were promoted’ because you had started to fast the Holy Month of Ramadhan – it was a great honour and privilege if you would be allowed to eat with the elders. This plan of action sometimes worked with our children – but it has seemed to fail dismally with their own kids – who insist for a place at the table – just like their elders!

 

When it comes to electronic goods, they seem at most ease and comfort with all kinds of gadgets and tools – even with the latest iPads and Androids! If you are not careful – they could embarrass you by showing you even how to ‘use the simple gadgets, tools and applications’.

 A person was even telling me that his 12 year old daughter was confiding with her mother that Dad has pictures of ‘not properly dressed ladies’ in his iPad! Which means that one has be to careful with even the Messaging, Contacts and the Photos Gallery in your phone – before she tells Mum why is Dad chatting with Aunty Smarty – and there are some photos of her too in his phone! Or the worst case scenario – if she will ask Aunty Smarty ‘why’ in front of you all – and when you all least had expected it!

The other day a friend of mine told me that he is still in ‘shock and awe’ when his granddaughter (7) had told him bluntly – that he wanted him to tell the father of Bright Boy to come and marry her. So please be careful with those jokes and teases that our parents would do at ease to us when we were kids – and nothing would happen – but here now it does or can happen – tongue in cheek speaking!

 And then it comes to languages. They know what language to speak with which uncle or aunty. And that comes to the point that many speak do different languages as first languages – and with the outmost ease and efficiency. Thus English and Arabic are dual spoken – with most ease and comfort – and in some who have come from ex French colonial places – including French too – and isolated places even German too!

 If you try to incorporate ethnic based languages like Swahili – they will laugh and mock you – why are you speaking in Hindi? If you say it is not Hindi – it is Swahili – they retort – well, it sounds like Hindi to me! Although some try to speak the lingo – quite a large number try not to – which is a very peculiar thing in many in this community – though in some have not forgotten the ‘roots, ethnicity and backgrounds’ – just like in other groups.

 And what is worrying – at least for people like me! – is the tendency to rather look down on their friends who speak only Arabic – and their feelings that ‘they need to teach them the other languages that they know – so they can be like them too’ – and the reluctances and in fights – because in most probabilities these children have been brought up to ignore other languages – and to remain proud that they can speak only Arabic!

 Children are fast learners. When my younger brothers and sisters came with us and were put in school – unfortunately at that time in 1970s – there were few private schools and were very expensive to say the least – they had to go to Arabic Speaking Public Schools. I remember my younger sister coming home everyday crying – saying she was in Standard 8 Tanzanian system – which is higher school entry level – but she was put in class 3 here – and what saved her was her Quraan Knowledge and ability to hear in Arabic. She did not give up and overcame – to go on to College – and even Post Graduate level. Where there is a will – there is a way for sure!

 It would be advisable to note this very valid point. Speaking a language is an asset. Poor Ghaddafi was trying to encourage Swahili as a lingua franca for Africa – and he succeeded in making it spoken to even up to borders ofCentralAfricanRepublics – as the local first language after French.

 At least President Obama’s father spoke Swahili too – so it is not an embarrassment if one knows the language – and one can speak it too! This perception and outlook needs to change now too – because my first shock in meeting my uncle from home town was in his speaking to us in Arabic in 1970s when we came in first. Though we could hear him – but he ‘was feeling embarrassed’ because we were replying back in Swahili!

 The girl who wrote in the other newspaper of people knowing our history and backgrounds in full makes a lot of sense to me. Even those parts we try to hide and overlook – and or are not being taught in schools. Even the ugly and unpleasant parts – we owe it to history – and future generations!

Let us look at the best example of countries like India and USA– and Oman too is a great nation – with much and rich history and backgrounds!

 Important thing is that we should learn from each other – love each other – and live as one – – under One Flag – One HM – and One Nation – Amin!

 Take Care!

 By: –

 Majid Al Suleimany

Suicidal Tendencies – At My Workplace! Reply

At My Workplace!

OUTLOOK – The Oman Daily Observer

 Suicidal Tendencies!

  • “My poor cousin,” said the town mouse, “you hardly have anything to eat! I do believe that an ant could eat better! Please do come to the city and visit me, and I will show you such rich feasts, readily available for the taking.”Aesop fable of the Country and Town Mouse.
  • Not all that glitters is gold – Anon

Please will forgive me for dramatizing and going morbid and being so melodramatic – but I have this inner feeling that out there in the streets there are now great tendencies of what can best be classified as people being on the warpath! Or are just being suicidal to say the least!

The other day this fast coming car – with more than 5 youngsters inside in this small car – were trying to get in between my 4WD and a bus on my right side. It would have been alright if I was in the fast lane and blocking them – but I was in the middle lane and going at normal speed limit – and so was the bus on my right side. A bicycle could not even get through the space – let alone a car!

They did not seem to care at all – as if they were going for a mission impossible trip – if not a suicidal one at that! It is okay if you want to kill yourself – or hurt and injure – pain and maim – but why should you take yourself along with other innocent people – and who are driving just safely, carefully and defensively?

In all my columns unless proved otherwise – I have and still propagate this great theory of mine that the way people drive on the roads nowadays – for both Omanis and even Expatriates for that matter – is linked to the level of unhappiness and dissatisfaction levels. As in my columns, I believe that this is linked more with the Offices environment – followed by family, environmental factors and others.

I was looking at the Global Happiness Index and I note that there are hardly any countries from the MENA areas classified in the top lists – if any consolation is that there are other countries that fare much worse than us!

Last week I was reading this magazine titled Campaign Against Suicide. The campaign is mainly targeted for the residents and guests – and mainly of Indian origin. The article shows 32 expatriate suicides committed alone for the period from January 1st to end of April 2012.

It studied the suicide patterns, the causes and fallouts in order to have a better understanding of the phenomena. The campaign aims at visiting the Labour camps, offices and homes – through discreet means in order to encourage those with such suicidal tendencies to have and get a feeling of belonging – being appreciated – and to come out in the open!

And those are the key words. The truth is that such suicides include all ‘classes and categories’ of people – from students, nurses, teachers, businessmen and labourers. The only part we come to hear are those ‘successful suicides’ – but there are many others that ‘have failed’ – and go hidden and unreported – as it being an embarrassing taboo subject.

I wrote about this morbid subject even from June 2003 with the title ‘Why do they do it?’ – with a woman – a related one too – that I still cannot comprehend from hanging herself – all because of perhaps a family tiff and dispute. With the son growing up saying ‘I will kill my father one day!’ – because the son blames the father for the bullying and aggression.

As a Columnist, I get many email letters from especially the expatriate wives that are not happy at home – though it may ‘shock and awe’ many that their husbands have well-to-do high profile jobs – live in decent places etc. And it all has got to do with the wives being professionals – and are not allowed to work by their husbands and or legally – and or cannot just find jobs.

All IMAGES FOR DEMONSTRATION PURPOSES ONLY!

Just go and visit the ‘Situation Wanted’ columns in the newspapers – and see how many female job seekers are there on ‘family visas’ – qualified and looking for jobs. It is a bloody shame – because both they and the country can benefit – than by bringing in more new expatriate staff – and just adding to the phenomena!

When I had my Consultancy, I had ladies with Doctorates PhDs staying at home as house wives – and in some cases if they were employed they could even be bigger bread earners than their own husbands even! And tongue in cheek speaking – some of the ladies are really presentable and pretty – and perhaps of this reason – have jealous and envious husbands that do not allow them to go to work!

These unhappy and dissatisfied women are more prone to be suicidal – especially if the marriage is arranged – and the husband spends all his time from 6 a.m. to 11 p.m. in the offices – and also worse off – if he does not know how to be patient and tolerant – and treat his wife and family well.

Please forgive me for bragging and ‘blowing my own trumpet’ but there is big vacuum in the offices of ‘trust and delegation’ – when the boss does not trust anyone – and never delegates – ending for him doing all the works – even the menial ones that can easily be entrusted and done by his subordinates!

In my book Psychology of Arab Management Thinking! – www.myown-ebooks.com  I have given many examples – and I have myself become the victim of the circumstances – especially with bosses – who have been taught, educated and trained ‘to control and dominate’ others theories! The problem is across the board – though admittedly the Western boss fares a little better than the rest – generally speaking that is!

I still believe that things need to change first in the offices – otherwise they will drag the rest of us all into this cesspit pool – and the Losers will be everybody. People need respect, decency and good well-mannered treatments – and to have a feeling of belonging. As I always say – treat a person nice, decent and well – and he will try to bring the moon to you.

It is also a question of people waking up to the new realities now at our doorsteps – and learn to change and adopt fast – otherwise it will be as usual – Change before Change changes you! And we will never just learn – even if the ground below us is crumbling below our feet even!

God Help, Protect and Preserve us all – and our families – Amin.Amen

Take Care!

 By: –

Majid Al Suleimany

P.S. In Islam suicide is considered as the greatest sin – and one is designated for eternal damnation from the grave to eternal hell fire starting from there. Killing of one innocent person is like killing a whole nation in punishment – and eternal hell fire….!

Some Observations! – Behind The Wheel! – The New Book! 1

Some Observations! – Behind The Wheel! –

 The New Road Safety Book!

 There is something that has continuously puzzled and baffled me is this attitude of writing to people with your request or suggestion – and people completely ignore you – as if you do not exist! One is not sure if it is linked or related to our famous Arabic expression that ‘the best answer to a rude and arrogant person is complete silence’! 

Or is it more linked and associated with just plain ‘contemptuous, arrogant, proud and conceited’ approaches and attitudes that some have?  –  ‘Hey you – listen you! You have no right to address me with anything – because you are of lower status to me – and do not have any rights of any kind if you compare yourself to me’ In actual fact you simply have no rights to address me with anything. First I am more important to you – second it is only the situation that has made you to have any guts and courage to send me anything – the audacity of it all!

 Would these pictures not move you?

Images For Demonstration Purposes Only.

When I wanted to publish my first book I went around asking for sponsorship to all the VIPs I knew – and those with money and wealth – the National Companies and Banks – but they all turned me down! Even Regional Associations that have supported foreigners – but not their so-called brethren! It was very hurtful and painful! I was about bto give up – until this one National Company came to rescue – and all because the Chairman liked ‘the way you are fighting for the underdog!’ – his own words – to be exact!

 I did not bother that much with the other 4 books – including the Arab Management books – though admittedly there was a vain attempt in the beginning – since I never ‘learn my lesson’ in life – as it is! The most sad and tragic thing was that even those VIPs that I had sent complimentary books did not have even the ethics and principles of saying thank you – completely against everything in our Religion – and our customs, traditions, culture and heritage! It took only some of the Expatriates to respond positively – though even some did not.

 Perhaps some thought that I would be so upset – and be so angry that I will go and burn up all the books – and stop writing immediately. They got something else coming – if they had thought like this!

 When I started the idea of writing this book, I thought things wouldl have now changed. But not really! Like I had said many times – in some places and people – they will never change – even if the ground below them crumbles below their feet. I will spare you making the usual references to add to this – because it is of no use – and is just wasted time, efforts and energies from my part!

 Anyway – even if this book should have attracted more support this time – the book is proceeding well. See what people are already saying. At least this time three National Companies are assisting in providing material, stories, incidents, back-ups – and others. Including from some willing to share their stories – their books and websites – for me to quote and make reference to! Because they were all drawn to the noble, worthy and National cause. Muscat Daily also supported me by writing about the book – as appeared in Page 2 of April 28th 2012 – see also posted in www.majidall.com

 I cannot thank them all well enough! Included in my book’s Indebtedness and Acknowledgements.

Best Regards,

 Majid Al Suleimany.

 P.S. I had used my own column to write about the book in The Features – The Oman Daily Observer – also posted at www.majidall.com

The Family Feuds – And In-Fights! Reply

Outlook – The Oman Daily Observer – Sunday May 20th 2012

Between Us Only! – Outlook!

 The Family In-Fights And Feuds!

  • I must say that quite a number of your articles do hit the nail hard right on the head – and I really enjoyed reading them!A Fan from Germany.
  • Please do not give up writing. Take a break – take a deep breath and rediscover your passion. Love your passion as you did the first day – as passion is a part of you – and you need itFrom an European Fan (in Oman)

Like everything in life – there are two sides of the same story – same just like in a coin! The situation becomes more confusing if a third dimension or perspective crops in – rendering the whole situation more perplexing and confusing! So please bear with me whilst I try to make my points across. Because I have seen this in real life!

The best example was last Eid when my article had appeared on the same day. I had bought extra copies hoping that it would turn out to be a great conversation piece! Apart from two or three avowed enthusiastic always family members who were keen to read the articles – the rest were not.

They were more interested in passing around the latest rumours and ‘hot spicy news’ than engage in constructive well meaning discussions. One or two just scanned the newspaper – and put it down when they came to my column! I guess this happens in many families – not only in our own!

Images All About Writing!

This I found in discussions across my fans listings that includes more expatriates on a rough count than fellow Omanis. Though I have been proud and elated at one social gathering when even some Public VIPs complimented me by saying that they only buy the newspaper on those two days my columns appear – though they may say the same to other Columnists does not bother me – at least it got said to me!

So you can see the point that I want to try to make here. If you have read about The Good Samaritan then you know what I mean. Or to bring the message more clearly – as The East Africans say – That which bites your skin is the same fabric that you are wearing – though supposed to protect you – but unknown to you it is also doing the biting (scratching) your own skin!

Images – It Is All About Writing!

I do not know about some others – but I know for sure that I have supposed to be ‘family members – and even friends’ too that are dead against everything that I write! They just do not want me to write. These elements were exposed when I had stopped writing for sometime – with the congratulations and compliments ‘that you did the right thing (decision)’ – sic!

 

 Image – My Books and I!

Look at these:-

  • I do not like his writings – because he drags us the family into his explanations. He can write about himself only – if he wants!Family Member.
  • Are you related to this guy who likes to write a lot? – A supposed-to-be Engineer to a family member.
  • Strangely and interestingly – those who cannot even write a decent sentence in any language – let alone in English – are the biggest critics! Typical!
  • You know – Between Us Only! – A sarcastic and always cynical family member every time he feels like opening his mouth in making others laugh!
  • Hey – did you know you are all open below? – A baboon on the ground to one up the tree!
  •   The point is – as also the East Africans say – why should your mouth feel hot – when it is the other person eating the chillies?

This is a fact of life. Frankly sometimes I do not feel to go to social and family gatherings – because there will always be someone to annoy and upset you – to make him feel good – and those around in! That is our envious and jealous streaks in our blood!

Frankly – if my career had really taken off – and or my consultancy business had taken off – then in most likelihood I would not have stumbled into writing – which was in my blood and ambition since I was 12 – and winning a National Writing Contest when I was just 14 with the topic – My Most Vivid Dream!

In my article last week I also narrated about Tina Turner and how her own husband was becoming increasingly jealous and envious of her – because she was stripping and overtaking his own popularity and with the fans! Just imagine! Your own spouse even! One time a friend of mine was lamenting about the time away from home that his wife was taking to do her business!

She comes from work – and straight goes on to do her business – and it is the housemaid that does the house chores and works till Madam returns late home at night – and then straight to bed. The routine would repeat itself even on Thursdays – and even Fridays sometimes. The man was pointing to his chin – I have had it up to here! Even if the business was a great earner to his own family!

He even proudly and meanly boasts that he had gone to pick Madam at the shop – but he simply refused to go in – despite the pleas from the Office girls ‘for at least for him to have a look inside! When the business collapsed – and Madam was in great stress and depressions – it secretly and sadistically pleased him to see she is back in the house – even though she lost her public job because of the business problems!

He felt that she is now back in the house – where she ‘rightly belongs’ – even though they had now bigger financial problems – and the man was the only bread earner – and even if his salary was far lower than that of Madam! So you can just see how mean, dastardly and vicious some people can get! Even to their own spouse – and family!

One time another ‘friend’ was so upset and agitated that I had sent my article email to his wife. That was the time that I did not have a website to record store and write-in – though the wife was number 75 in the To list. He spent all the time to check who else the email was sent to – instead of doing his job that he was paid to do in his office. Even though I told him it was her that wanted to be included to receive my article – but he would not have it.

Hearing the commotions my HR Assistant – a nice decent boy – also IT buff – designed and gave me my first website as a gift on my birthday – www.alsuleimany.com I then stopped sending out my articles – unless personally requested now! I learnt my lesson the hard way! Thank God what I sent was all decent – otherwise I would have ended in more dire straits and trouble! Could even a parent be jealous and envious of one’s own sibling? Or conversely? I think enough shocks for today!

As our good Indian friends say – that is how the world goes around – so be ready for both pleasant and unpleasant surprises – whether you make it – do not make it – in life!

Take Care!

 

By: –

 

Majid Al Suleimany

 

The Closing Chapter – The Other Side! At My Workplace! Reply

For Wednesday May 16th 2012

At My Workplace! (Outlook)

 The Other Side!

Or The Closing Chapter of the Story!

The world suffers now not because of evil people– but because of good people who have decided to remain silent – Albert Einstein

A few days back I met this good friend of mine. He was asking me as to what had happened to me – because he saw me again complaining about issues and topics – and things that I used to complain about after the business collapse in 2003 – over 9 years ago. He was asking me – I thought you had moved on – and left the past behind you? Then he told me about this great book he had read – entitled The Secret.

According to WikipediaThe Secret is a best-selling 2006 self-help book written by one Rhonda Byrne, based on the earlier film of the same name. It is based on the Laws of Attraction and claims that Positive Thinking can create life-changing results such as increased wealth, health, and happiness.

The book has sold over 21 million copies and been translated into 44 languages, but has nevertheless attracted a great deal of discussions and controversy, as well as being parodied (misrepresented/distorted) in several TV programs. You can find more information and details of the book by putting any search engine for “The Secret”

He then went on to tell me about this film he had seen titled ‘What’s Love Got To Do With It?’  He persuaded me to see it – as it was being shown free in ShowTime – already subscribed for! 

 

The Film is a biographical sketch of the life of Tina Turner (Actress Angela Bassett), and her disastrous marriage to Singer and Husband Ike Turner (Actor Larry Fishburne) – the man who had created her career while nearly destroying her life. She struggles to escape from under his constant abuse. The film offers a glossy but intense portrait of her rapid rise to stardom – and the jealousies and envies of her own husband – because she had become more popular than him.

 

Despite Ike’s attempts to woo her back, Tina Turner eventually prevails and finds solo success, accomplishing her dreams without Ike. The film shows of her courage and determination to overcome and succeed – finding within her the inner strength to fight back and overcome. She is shown as taking chances – and refusing to remain under the domination and control of her bullying husband.

There is this part that I really had liked. There is a metaphor drawn about the flower lotus. The lotus is a flower that blooms in the mud. The thicker and deeper the mud, the more beautiful the lotus blooms!

 It is a metaphor meaning that in real life there is cause and effect. You can still bloom (blossom) when around you is all mud! Sometimes you are required to change your inner self first – so to cause effect and change. What it means is that the more tests in life the better person you are likely to be more of. That is if you handle yourself well – starting with your inner self first and foremost – to fight back, overcome and to succeed.                                                        

Last few days back, I watched this programme The Inner War In Syria in Al Jazeera Television. It was an interview of the famous Syrian Artist, Cartoonist and Activist – Ali Farzat. He is seen to casually comment – Nothing you tell these peoples will have any effect on them! What it meant was that you are just wasting your time, efforts and energies to tell them things which they are not going to hear you first – and secondly by doing so – you are just exposing yourself to outmost dangers and risks – if not your own life even! 

My friend was asking me – one time you yourself had said that you will stop banging your head against brick walls! Because in the process you only hurt your head – getting it swollen – and even bleeding! And as you yourself like to quote him (Napoleon) – Do not interfere with someone set in destroying himself! 

What is written to happen will just happen! Take a full break and rest now! There is nothing that you can do that can stop anything that can or will happen – or for you to try to change things! You had said things in the 1980s – and they all came true – even more than what you had expected! Yet your own career was tainted and you were marginalized – and you came to suffer the consequences of your own actions – and your own sincerity, genuineness and feelings. You always ended as the Loser! Marked as ‘trouble-maker’ and ‘with chips on his shoulder’!

 It is time to for you stop my friend! They are only mocking and teasing you – speaking evil of you behind your back! Take care now of your own health – your own life – and the time left for you on earth – for once be selfish – and just take care of yourself – your own family – your children – and your own grandchildren! The rest are not important. Take your own advice – and use it. You did what you could – and the time is now over!

 Thank you my friend – from the bottom of my heart. Only a person who really cares and feels for you will tell you the truth! Thanks again – my good friend!

 Take Care!

 By: –

Majid Al Suleimany                                      

 May 13th 2012 – Muscat – Sultanate of Oman

The Second Wife Dilemma! – Between Us Only! May 13th 2012. 2

Outlook – The Oman Daily Observer – Sunday May 13th 2012

Between Us Only! – Outlook.

The Second Wife Dilemma!

Or The Marriage In Secret!

 There is this article that I was reading titledWomen battle over who gets recognized as dead soldier’s wife – A fallen soldier’s two wives meet for the first time at his funeral. It is about an American soldier who – on return from active duty in Afghanistan – had died of a road accident back home. After his death, it materialized that he actually had not divorced his first wife – and as evidently clear from his personal records with the USA military. 

Both women had attended the funeral service – though not speaking to each other but sitting together in the first row — yet only his first wife received the U.S. flag presented by the military. The second wife (bigamous) was even not contacted by the military about his death in a rollover accident on April 25.

Instead, the USA military had contacted his first wife – and said she would receive survivor benefits as well as the USA service flag. The second wife had hoped she would at least receive the flag – but the first wife family had made the point that it should go to them – since the first wife bore his first child! A third woman – also with the dead man’s child – had also attended the service – but she had never been married to him.

So the problem is International – Men versus Women!

I have written many articles on this taboo subject – that seems to now be the in-fashion-thing-once-again in town! See my Between Us Only! Series – www.myown-ebooks.com The only sad and tragic part is always like the above story – the secret is always exposed when the man dies. Thanks to our Religion that we are allowed to have four wives – of course paramount is following the rules and requirements for this – including informing the other wives – and trying your level best to love and treat them equally!

The other day this great lady fan had asked me to write again on the subject. She is also suspicious because after more than decades – her hubby husband has started now again singing in his bathing – his favourite – the famous Rhythm of The Falling Rain song by The Cascades. She says to me despite her vigorous purposeful attempts to try to annoy him and in nagging – the man will simply not have it – but continuously and unending is still smiling and enjoying himself!

 

He had even started dyeing his hair and beard – too once again! Including taking care of his food intake – and going for walking and exercises. She has also noticed sly mean looks from her husband’s friends – including women who turn away looking at her – when what it seems she has noticed them gossiping – what is likely is about her! She finds all these habits strange and awkward – especially the most damning evidence (and I would consider stupid!)  of him changing his attire from the one that he left home on that day! She says to me – he has now found a new hobby – after retiring – and I am sure wanting to know what that that hobby is (sic)!

My late father had at one time three wives. One is the first wife with him from Muscat with my late elder brother and sister with him in that dhow to Tanzania – both aged 12 and 10 respectively. Then my late mother – his first cousin – so we are Al Suleimany both parents. My late grandfather – paternal – born in Manah – Oman – had overall over 12 wives – though remaining within the ‘legal limit’ of four at any one time in particular!

Though like most families – we had siblings rivalries and troubles – but take my word for it – sometimes they were bigger within the same Mother – than between Mothers. My late Mother loved me just like her own son – if not more because I listened to her more than her own son perhaps did. She taught me how to pray – recite the holy Quraan – and she cried whenever she saw me proving to her that her attempts to make me a better practicing person were not in vain. When I got a head bump and blood was spurting out – she used the famous Omani treatment of white egg and flour to stop the bleeding. If she had not done it – I would have bled to death!

The point I want to make is this. Our late father – and others like him  – were in that able financial position to treat their wives fairly and squarely. My late father would buy the same type of fabric – the joke went that it would come in different colours for the wives to choose. Believe me – the first Mother would say choose what colour you two want – the left one is okay for me. I used to wonder – what if they all wanted blue – and only one got it!

So what has changed now? Personally, I believe it has got to do with the economics! Simply and bluntly put is like this. Those who want to get married to second wives – whether openly or secretly – the majority of them simply cannot afford it! They expect the second wife to come in and provide! The women has gone over 35 – and few years left for her to get a normal baby! She is hungry and desperate for a soul and life partner. She may have a good job – a good car and a good house even – but she cries at night alone – sad and unhappy!

She starts asking herself – Why me all  alone – Oh Lord – why I am still single? In comes M – oldish type of a person – with a high sense of humour and wit – funny type of a person – educated and qualified. He is ‘a good decent man – kind hearted and feeling’ – I would not mind to be his number two – even if there are other younger suitors – but they are more interested in what I have than me personally. But M is different.

Here Comes The Bride! Omani (Arab) Style! www.myown-ebooks.com

It starts with a few complimentary emails – Great piece of work Mr. M! Mr. M? More emails. Then mobile phone exchanges. Now more SMSes – more jokes! A tease becomes serious. Soon afterwards a marriage in secret too!

My late maternal grandmother was telling me this story. Her friend (married) was asking her – This Arab bearded mean at Mwanga Pwani in Zanzibar really likes you. Do you want me to fix you two? But he has a wife already – my poor grandmother lamented. So what? Her friend protested – but he really likes you. Do you want me to ask ‘First Wife’ permission for you? Soon afterwards M mother’s was born – and yours truly!

Tell that to our women of today! There are no longer second (third) marriages fixers nowadays. Even the first time getting married once either! Ever wondered why? As the East African expression goes – Do not ask a man with eyes to see! He can see for himself – that second wife – even in secrecy!

It is time for the First Wives Club to go back to their Religion – and move all these secrecies – and such illicit affairs – because hubby is simply afraid – and scared! There should be only one club –  that-we-share-alike-openly club only!

Take Care! 

By: – 

Majid Al Suleimany

Know All Type Managers! At My Workplace! Reply

At My Workplace! (Outlook)

 Know All Type Managers!

When I was 14 years old, I broke my left hand playing football. But you will not believe it now – but I was acknowledged as being a good goalkeeper!  It was the talk of town – the son of the man Said was a good footballer – he always caught the footballs in whichever direction they came from – and however fast they came! What happened next was one of the fast footballs hit the goal post hard – and it was made of heavy pipes. One of the tumbling pipes hit my left hand – and it broke into two – just held together by the skin!

 

One will not also believe this. I got a beating from my dad in front of the now angry local doctor who simply could not understand and comprehend what he was seeing happening right in front of his eyes – of a young boy with a broken hand being beaten up by his father.

But he could not understand my father – because he had called us to come into the house from the football playing fields – but I had gone on playing past Maghrib (dawn evening) praying time! There was also talk of the place being haunted – because you heard your name being called out loud – but you could not see the caller!

Anyway, that was ever my last beating from my late father. As if he had acknowledged his mistake after the local doctor reprimand – and vowed to himself to never touch this boy again. I never played football after that – in actual fact all sports! However, one time I was persuaded to be the football referee – though honestly I did not know much of the football rules. That tells you a lot about people being seen to be in control and in-charge – when they simply know nothing of what they are controlling about!

There was this big scream from one of the players – Offside! So I blew the whistle. Out of which 22 people with one single football – and their supporters surrounded me – yelling I did not know what I was doing – or knew what I was doing – and the ball was – was not – offside!

Soon afterwards, I was kicked out – because they then realized that I did not know what I was doing! It was a wrong decision by them to put me in this position of authority and control – and when I knew nothing about the football rules – and what being a Referee – a position of trust and where people look up at you – for guidance and leadership is  – and you fail them miserably!

 It was my duty and responsibility to decline the role – even if being forced upon me – because I simply did not know what being a Referee meant all about – and had let down people badly – till they found out all about me in reality – and asked me to step down – with all respect and esteem gone.

It took me a long time to realize the realities and truth in life – because it is better to decline a position and role I knew nothing about – but it was my pride and vanity to continue and assume it – and pretending to know things which I did not know anything about here!

You will find the same in life with Managers in Companies – especially those with little and or marginal education – but they have to demonstrate and show their powers and control by being also talented and experts in all the disciplines under them – even if he simply knows nothing about the fields and subjects.

You get such people dictating and instructing The Finance Manager how to run and do Accounts. The Human Resources HR Professional – I mean here the real one expert, consultant and professional – not the ex PRO promoted to the Manager position so he can be controlled and be dominated – on how to run the HR Department. Worse when he or she interferes in Technical and Engineering professions – or the HSE job aspects – even if he simply does not know anything – but it is his pride and vanity that keeps him going on and rolling.

Never ever will he admit he is ignorant of the subject – especially a few smart alecks from them – who know how to use Google Search!

Despite everything happening around us – nothing much has changed! All these Managers know is to show off – and insult and ridicule others. Their paramount need always is to control, manipulate and dominate – and subdue any voices of attempt to defend oneself or explain ones position!

Two days back I got a very good offer for a Consultancy job. It is my habit now to conduct prior hand research before I take up anything. When I came to realize that he is not much different from the last place I had left – I politely declined.

Frankly, I do need the money for sure and which I cannot deny – but at this age in particular – it is the respect and esteem which is more important. Some people handle power and authority badly – and things go into their heads to make them proud, conceited, vain, contemptuous and ridiculing others!

The point is that though I am wearing a dishdasha, I can go to any Western country – and despite my age – they would welcome me in without any delay – because they know what they are getting.

That is why I personally feel that things will never change in the Offices environment – despite all the changes going on around us now! People are simply too proud and conceited – even to notice that the ground is crumbling down below their own feet!

Take Care!