At My Workplace!
The Boss Is Killing Us – Slowly!
Tact is seeing others as they wish to be seen – and not what you want them to be! – Famous Expression.
Tact is telling a person to go to Hell! – and he is looking forward for the trip! – Another Expression!
A long time ago one of my family members was lamenting bitterly about her boss and his behavior towards her especially – though he was well known to be doing the same to all the staff with only a few exceptions of selected chosen few cronies at the workplace! This relative was saying to me that it was taking a toll on her relationships with even her family – including her husband and children too!
She said to me – I am really scared and dread the day that the weekend is over – and I have to go back to work. It seems to me like a person had relieved me off a heavy load for the weekend – and put it back on me as I am now returning to work after the weekend. The lady is hamstrung and very emotional and delicate person – who takes it badly such personal affronts and attacks by her boss. She feels the boss is purposefully doing this to give her life hell so he could control her – and put her under his domination and influence – though that was not only limited to the job auspices – but even much more devilish and sinister ulterior motives!
One long time back when my late father was still alive we were complaining bitterly against one family member that we all despised and did not like = not as a family member – but more on his attitudes and approaches to life – by purposefully and willfully picking up fights and animosities with others on the faintest of reasons and excuses.
To the end that everybody was scared to even speak to him on even the basic, simplest and normal of subject – for example like on the weather – because he could easily turn it to an affront and aggression mode by saying – Why did you bring the subject now out of all times – is it because you want to say that I smell? Unbelievable! It would shock one where he grabbed these similes, comparisons and metaphors – and that was not only the shocking part – but how he would go on attacking the rest of the world by his dimwitted outlooks, views and perceptions – and the element of course of being always right – he alone – and the rest have to line up behind him – and all wrong!
Poor dad would look at us sadly and ruefully and say to us – If your nose stinks – you do not cut it! Meaning that he well understood and appreciated what we were saying to him – but then he was saying to us to be tolerant and be patient more – because even if he was stinking – he was still family member (part and parcel of the body!).
This situation is faced by many in the Offices by the type of bosses and the management styles of the few ‘bad fish and apples in the basket’ amongst our midst. To the extent, that I remember one boss getting a bad road accident – as he had just bought a new car model – and people were saying – Poor car – from the showroom to the dump yard – only few days on the road! Yet a new model too! Yet they had said nothing nice about the boss who was yet hurt and injured – and even hospitalized for a few days in the hospital. In actual fact, only a few staff visited with exception of the Management – who were bound to do so as job-required!
The most tragic and sad thing is that these type of bosses know well that they are despised and hated lots – even vehemently! But they do not care – nor are bothered the least. One of my fans used to tell me how her husband is much hated and despised in the offices – yet at home he is still the dreadful person he is as in the office – no change of tune nor attire! The same mean evil dastardly person both at the office and at home – pathetically, sadly and tragically too!
If you have been a regular reader of my column and books – please visit my new book site at www.myown-ebooks.com – you may remember this story of how one time I was terribly traumatized and emotionalized when some staff were cursing a boss who was just being buried – and even yet the body not yet lowered to the ground.
So I turned down nastily to them to try to shut them up – when actually the tables were soon turned around to me enquiring to me if I was related and or knew the person? I curtly replied that I knew of his family more than him personally – and that is where they started to try to defend themselves why they hated and despised him the dead person. They chorused – We hope he goes straight to hell – as soon as his body hits the ground! It took me a very long time to forget the incident!
At another funeral gathering, an ex mean and dastardly boss was lamenting whether when he died people would flock to his funeral as people were at this one. So he turned to me nastily and asked me – What do you think M? I just looked at him in silent consternation – and said nothing. I remembered my late father advice he always gave to us his children – a famous Arabic one too – The best answer to a rude person is complete silence! Actually, I wanted to ash him – but could not – If you know that people hate and despise you that much – why don’t you change? But then poor dad would have said to us – Once a person is over 30 – you will never be able to change him – even if you tried hard to do so!
Like I always say in my columns and articles like The Mini-Dictators, these kinds of Office Bosses if they ever were running a country – they could easily be – or even surpassing – real countries’ dictators! In actual fact they are running the offices the same ways that the dictators are running their countries – only difference is they do not have the armies to brutally suppress the people (staff) – though they do have the other things like networks and spies to do their biddings – and their determinations to manipulate, control and dominate their staff as their main focus, pursuits and targets always at the offices.
It is only when a staff leaves that he will dare to say exactly what is in his mind directly to the boss – reference letter or no reference letter! Or let the whole world preparing to hear what is really going on at the place!
Majid Al Suleimany