For The Oman Daily Observer Features of
Sunday March 25th 2012.
Link to My Website – www.majidall.com –
Between Us Only!
More Marriages – Please!
You are 16 now! It is really high time that you end your studies in school in order to help your father in his shop! What more education you need? You can read and write now – isn’t that enough? Besides, we have found a very nice pretty girl for you to get married to – and settle down! (she is 15!) – my ex late Uncle to me – over 40 years.
My late Father – a few months before his death – was asking me to talk down to some family members (male) who were crossing 35 – and some even 40 – and still single and with no desire, commitment, keenness or willingness to get married!
My father was complaining bitterly that he did not like to see some of family members not getting married – because he felt it not right and proper to wait too long after one got his or her first job to get married! Why are people waiting for so long – and for what? – he lamented! He was bitterly complaining that though we are in our own country – but we were following customs, habits and culture that were completely alien to the traditional old ways of doing things – rightly and properly!
As we the Arabs always like to say – From the stomach of evil came blessings! Or as the Brits say – light at the end of the tunnel! They all got married in the end – perhaps because of the guilt pangs and consciences – after his death from an operation that took his life – and he died on the operation table (his heart could not take it – and also being old!).
As a young boy, I was at the wedding of my late elder brother and we were sitting at the back of the Ford truck – me and my younger brother. The truck was being driven by my late elder brother with his new wife in the truck front cabin – and I was always dreaming that one day God Willing I too will get married – and have my younger siblings sit at the back too one day!
This Wednesday I attended a wedding of my nephew Abdul Salaam – and I was wondering to myself why it took him a bit longer than his younger brother – who got married earlier than him. In one of his earlier good moods I used to tease my late Father why he wanted his brother to get me married off at young age of 15. He looked at me ruefully and sadly – because he knew well if he had asked the same question to his father both his cheeks would be stinging red with slaps from the old man for such audacity challenging questions! You are lucky that you reached 15 – poor dad says to me – I got married at 14!
I know of a married now couple that the man had proposed to the woman – but she had said No for quite awhile – but he did not give up. Finally one day he had enough – and gave her an ultimatumn – either you are with me – or with your crooked boyfriend – you must choose between us two!
The woman got the same courage and guts to face her fiancée thing – Are you interested in getting married to me – or are you still playing for time – and have no commitment to go all the way in our relationships – that has now been going on for quite awhile? She then told him about the proposal offer from the other man – take it or leave it! She got the reply – I am not thinking of getting married for still some time – you can go ahead to get married to him if you wish!
There are also these elements of high costs of rents and accommodation, costs of living and so so on – and of course of being just mean and miserly – and being just selfish – having false superiority complexes – and taking advantages of others – or looking down on others and thinking one is more important and or has more rights than the others. People being just mean, willful, destructive and bad hearted evil. And people will still never learn!
Many youngsters are also afraid of commitments because of the high costs of dowry and the marriage celebrations costs. The Religious peoples of all sects should talk more emphatically and forcefully on this subject in thir sermons. The same thing should be done by the Teachers, Elders and Parents too.
Oman is a great high profile nation – proved in so many times currently now and in history and in records. But when a foreigner asks – how much is the population of Oman now? What is the ratio Omani and Expatriate? They lose face when we reply that yes we are still more than the expatriate ratio wise – but the whole population is about 3 million. Only 3 million? I thought was more than that – is the usual retort.
Time to protect, preserve and save our society for its conservation, future, generations, history, dynasty, culture and heritage!
By Majid Al Suleimany