Monthly Archives: August 2011

From Dr. Richard Pettinger (UCLA) – London Global University Reply

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From Dr. Richard Pettinger (UCLA) – London Global University 

August 25th 2011.

 Omani Arab Author of Five Books – Two in Arab Management! –   www.majidbooks.com

 Dear Majid,

 The University expresses its many thanks for being in touch – and is a huge pleasure and privilege and a great honour. You have a brilliant and star colossal range of achievements – and must be congratulated.

We will order your books here and it will be a very great pleasure to read them.

We have here a very heavily Western/UK/USA perspective on management and we have to address this because it is very limiting for us and for our students and for our companies and organisations also.

 We will get your works in here and add them to our Reference Reading lists – it will be very good for us to have such authoritative very good stuff like this from elsewhere in the world to add to our Management fields and references –
and not just from UK and USA.

Dr. Richard Pettinger (UCLA) – Professor – Management Studies – London Global University UK.

 r.pettinger@ucl.ac.uk

 More here and at www.majidbooks.com

 Note

– Dr. Richard is himself the Author of many books in Management at Global University UK (UCLA). 

r.pettinger@ucl.ac.uk

Being Delusional versus Realism! Reply

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Between Us Only!

 Being Delusional versus Realism!

In real life and in all practicalities and realities, each one of us has been delusional at one time or the other – though few of us would be willing to admit this now! Strangely, it is understandable – to say the least here!

A certain level of mentalness is okay – a good Indian friend (lady) to me!

Realism – practical – pragmatism – practicality – truism – the belief that reality exists independently of observers, common sense.

Delusion – Myth – fallacy – illusion – figment of the imagination – fantasy – apparition – hallucination – mirage amd imaginary

A delusion is a false belief held with absolute conviction despite superior evidence

Delusions typically occur in the context of neurological or mental illness, although they are not tied to any particular disease and have been found to occur in the context of many pathological states (both physical and mental).

 

Massacred in bloody Zanzibar Revolution of 1964.

My late Father (Peace Be Upon Him) always used to crack this joke when I was still single and whenever a group of people came to our house as guests. It was my impassioned and frantic delusional plea to him to stop the truck carrying us into a Refugee Centre during the Zanzibar bloody Revolution in 1964 – and ‘to go up and wake up the ‘killed and massacred bodies’ lying everywhere – as they were ‘merely just sleeping’ – and not really dead! It was a ghastly and terrible sight for any young boy – and it took its toll on one! The joke stopped after I got married – and him knowing that I did not find it ‘funny anymore’!

At the time I did not understand it or even appreciate it – but it was the emotional and impassioned plea by Radio by the then defacto ruling government Prime Minister then Late Ali Muhsin Barwani – to ‘stop the fighting as the government had fallen’ –  and to ‘save lives as there was no point to continue to resist’ as we had been abandoned ‘by our protecting friends’ – and the whole of East African countries were supporting the African-led revolution in the islands. I cried as a young man – and for a long time I blamed him for ‘giving up and surrendering so easily’

 It took me many years and years ahead of me in my life to realise that the ‘he was very wise, intelligent, realistic and pragmatic under the circumstances then. Twists and ironies of life, he translated later the whole Quraan into Swahili. Had he continued as a Prime Minister, he would have had no time for such works! His works are spread all over now in East African countries – and far beyond. Frankly I found his works far better than even the recognised ones in English and in the West!

 

From Here as A Hero in The Libyan Revolution To Now Against Him!

This brings us to the current situation facing us in Libya. At the time of writing this, Gaddafi and his cronies and children have still not been found! He still keeps urging his supporters to ‘continue the fight till the end’ – whilst he and his cronies still go in hiding! He still thinks after all these that ‘he will rise again’ and many ‘Libyans still love me” – how disconnected from reality and truth one can get’!. Feel sorry and pity for the man.

 

One of the books that really inspired and motivated me was the book of Animal Farm by George Orwell. I have said about it many times in my columns here – so will not repeat it – lest it becomes mundane and boring!

I went into several galleries of the story of Gaddafi – and his coming to power by a popular bloodless revolution to overthrow King Iddris of Libya. The same Libyans that cheered him in this popular uprising have now them and their children fighting against him – after 42 years of tyrannical and brutal dictatorship from the ‘same hero’ 42 years ago. I ask myself – what gives? What had happened for things to go so bad and so sour like this?

Forget his gimmicks, mavericks, weirdness, delusions for a minute that he was still loved by a majority of Libyans – and the attackers were mainly rebels without a cause – ‘rats, misfits, and drug addicts’ as he calls them – and were even foreigners too – or foreign backed after Libyan oil. Why all the ‘disconnected from reality’ and delusions?

In the story of 1001 Arabian Nights Abu Nuwas stories about these two women competing for a baby as belonging to each one of them. He suggests cutting the baby into two and giving each one half of the baby. One of the woman pleads – let her take the baby – but please do not kill it. Abu Nuwas says – she is the Mother – because only the Mother can say such things! I guess Gaddafi as a ‘Father’ should think as similiar – spare his children killing each other like this! At least Hosni Mubarak of Egypt did after some time!

In UK in the 70s, I had studied with Libyans in Colleges. They are very friendly forthcoming nice peoples to the word – with a ‘soft heart and touch’ especially for us Omanis. In each of their rooms was a portrait of Gaddafi – and you could tell that they really cared and loved him. Even the allowances and facilities paid to them were greater to ours!

Yet now we see all these things folding out in front of our eyes. What went so wrong? I personally think that at least Arab Psychologists, Sociologists and Researchers have a great responsibility ahead of them in these studies – and for The Arab Spring uprisings. I guess the key words will still be openness, frankness, transparencies – and better approaches and styles in communications and patience dealings.

Let us all pray for peace, tranquility, understandings and stability all over the world – Amin

(Amen). . Take Care!

Eid Mubarak Greetings!

 By Majid Al Suleimany – Muscat – Sultanate of Oman (OM).

They Break Our Hearts! And Make Us Cry! Reply

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At My Workplace!

 They Break Our Hearts!

And Make Us Cry!

1 – The Office Driver. He bid a tearful farewell to his newly married wife. Beggars cannot be choosers – and he had to feed his parents, family and his new wife now. Just to make himself forget his new wife and plight – he spent hours and hours cleaning the new Office car.

Then things took a dramatic turn, 3 weeks later. Try all he could to avoid hitting the other irate and reckless driver who had cut abruptly in front of him – he heard the crash of metal against each other. It was not my mistake! I tried to swerve away from the other car.  However, the young boss insisted on him to be returned – The staff will always be afraid now – even if we repair the new car. You cannot be our Driver anymore – sorry. Though you worked only for a few days in the month, we will give you your full salary for the month. This time he cried – the whole night –  returning home empty-handed. But it was not my fault – his heart cried out – all unfair and unjust!

 

2 – The Executive Secretary. Her husband had been laid off. There were no jobs available now in their country due to the economic crises. They had three children to feed. So she told her husband – My sister says they are looking for Secretaries there in that country. Good salaries. I think I should apply.  At first he resisted – then finally gave in!

Things went all okay for awhile. She noticed one from home Executives paying special attention and attraction towards her. She misread the signals – she thought he was just being friendly and nice as natural of him. But he had his own vested interests – started with subtle signals before being forward. I am a married lady – she protested. I have been brought up not to do such kind of things. So what – The man retorted – your husband is not here. You must have needs. Besides, I too am married!

Then the very important secret document that she was typing mysteriously disappeared from her office. She could not find it even in the PC – though she knew she had saved it! I know it is not your mistake – the GM boss told her – but I cannot feel safe and comfortable for you to work for me anymore. You cannot be relied and to be trusted. I am sorry. The plane took 6 hours to reach home – she was crying all the way from Muscat Airport.

3 – The Office Manager & The Office Fire –  He had on his own initiative called The Fire Brigade, though the Office Fire was actually  put out. He was the most senior local person around then. The Top guy was visibly upset. He did not want any bad publicity or image. He told the Manager – You had called them – tell them to go! We do not need them here now. Everyone is looking at us – and tomorrow we will all be in the newspapers pages.

The Top Brass all hated his guts. Five days later after the fire incident – he finally quit the place – and taking all his things in his carton. As he pulled out from the place – he was crying first all inside – and then like a baby as he neared home. He had never cried like this ever before! The man thought – Men do not cry – but why am I crying now? He could not explain it.

They break our hearts; and make us all cry!

 

By:

 Majid Al Suleimany

Learning From Each Other! Reply

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 Between Us Only!

 Learning From Each Other!

It may really surprise, shock and awe – and amaze many people to realise that you can learn so many things from each other’s society and backgrounds if you just do take the keen initiative and interest to do so! Sometimes we just copy and emulate from ‘certain quarters and circles’ that we think and analyse as already being ‘more advanced and developed – more modern’ – and by the same conclusion and gesture we consider others ‘as still developing and behind’ – even in comparisons to our own – and feel and think that there is nothing there to learn or gain! And how wrong we can be in such comparisons and conclusions!

1 – The Monkeys (Baboons) Story – Have you heard of the monkeys’ (baboons’) story? There is this monkey (baboon) climbing up the tree – and he hears great laughter emanating from below. It turns its head around to notice fellow baboons (monkeys) on the floor laughing hysterically and uncontrollably. So it comes down and asks – what gives – and is met with more mirth and laughter. Then one of the monkey (baboon) whispers something to its ears – and it shouts back – No! I am not! So the elder and more wiser of the lot tells it – Ok – you go again and climb the tree. It does – and meets more than ever uncontrollable and hysterical laughter – this time with clapping and ever more mirth and gestures! The climbing monkey shies away – and hides its head in great shame and embarrassment! *** What was this monkey told?  Tip – Those in glass houses should not throw stones! Anyway – Please read on…

2 – The Ali Baba Story – We have all heard of the story of Ali Baba and the 40 thieves! But have you thought and considered this point? Now that Ali Baba has all the money and gold and can assume some respect and hero ship at last – because though he has all the money and wealth now – bottom line he got all the money and wealth by stealing from others! Those of you who have watched The Godfather movies series will grasp at the point that I want to make – how the Godfather is all so respected, esteemed and adhered to because of the stolen money and wealth – and murdering others too even! You must have heard also of ‘Protection Payments’ to the Godfathers and The Mafias – if you do not pay, fall in line and be submissive to have your ‘properties and belongings’ protected – they will come down hard on you – and destroy not only it but can even hurt, damage and even kill you and your family in the process!

Though there are not that many films like The Godfathers – Ali Baba can even be more ruthless and cruel to especially new entrants or challengers to his sphere and area of influence and operation – and like the Mafias too can have ‘The Laws’ look at the other way whilst the victims are harassed and butchered. We have seen these films of ‘rogue elements’ even supporting The Mafias (and Ali Baba) from the inside!

3 – The Trouble-Maker Story – I was watching this Religious sermon by one great Islamic Scholar – a Dr. Mohammed Salah in Al Huda Television. He was narrating this story of our Great Prophet – PBUH. The  Great Prophet (PBUH) saw this very old woman carrying a heavy load all by herself. So he went to her and helped carry it for her for her for quite a distance to her home.

When she reached there – she told the Great Prophet – I am a poor person – I do not have any money or present to give you. Despite protestations that it was all right and it was his duty to do so – the old woman went on – You are such a nice well-behaved son – you came to help me whilst everyone else was ignoring me! But all I can give you is some ‘good advice to help you in your life. She went on – Again thank you now, young man. You have really been so kind. That generosity and smile is very rare to find now a days. Let me give you some advice, since you’ve been so very nice to me. Stay away from Muhammad. Don’t heed his word or emulate his way. If you do, you will never have true peace, and all you will find is trouble.”

The Great Prophet PBUH turned around to the old lady and said – I am very sorry My Mother – but I am  that Muhammad that you are just talking about now. To this it was said she later converted to become a Muslim – and accepted the faith. Now if it was any other one of our Youth nowadays – the old woman would be insulted – and even be beaten up too – that is – if anyone will come forward to help her carry the load in the first place!

My Last Week Article – Being Arrogant In Life! – ISee it here –  repeat the theme and message .

Just to paraphrase a few lines – There is nothing so dangerous and damaging in life – than a person who is always very proud, conceited, arrogant, ‘too much know’, haughty and vain. Arrogance, Pride and Conceit are so dangerous that in the Holy Quran it says that if people acquire these foul traits – then these traits they become a part of their nature – and they become always proud, conceited, rebellious and vain. The ironical and sad part is that not all such people are in positions of power and in authority – could be even in reality be in the ‘lower levels in society’ themselves – but they still think their opposite is ‘a lower person’ – or ‘untouchable’ even! Speaking down to others from a higher pedestal – or high horse!.

Take Care!

***  The Monkeys Story – It Said – ‘You are all open behind’ – and the other monkeys think and do not see it in themselves too!

By Majid Al Suleimany

 

 

Holding Employees’ Passports! Reply

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At My Work Place!

Holding Employees’ Passports!

Even in the title of my book had said it – A Cry For Help! – and of all the things going on at the workplaces that are really sad, tragic, unprofessional and unethical – leaving employees ever more disappointed, unhappy and frustrated – but then we are all talking to ‘brick walls with our already hurt and damaged heads’ – see www.majidbooks.com

A long time ago, a good Indian friend of mine had sent me this note of how ‘people control elephants’ minds’. When they are small one of their feet is tied to this chain. As the elephants grow up, the chain also gets bigger – until the elephant is big and an adult! The elephant can easily break the chain if it sets its mind to it – but ‘chooses not to’ simply because its mind-set thinks it cannot do so’!

There was a very emotional charged up write up by one expatriate lady in the other newspaper of ‘her boss’ holding her passport in the offices – despite as she tried to indicate that ‘The excuse’ given of safekeeping ‘on behalf of the employee’ – as either they live in rooms – or slum areas – and she lives in ‘a posh place and in a villa too’ – so the excuse cannot be ‘real and valid’! I just was ‘thinking aloud’ if she did talk to ‘her boss’ or not before writing in?

I want to make some points candidly and crystal clear here.

They are:-

  • As in all the fronts – transparency, empowerment, ethical, individual and professional levels, I have been AGAINST holding of Employees’ Passports for whatever and all the reasons given as to why this is done!
  • My own house maid of over 14 years now has her own passport in her own room – nothing worries me because I do not need a Visa to visit her at her home in Philippines – and even if I did I will easily get one!
  • The same concept and logic should apply to the Human Resources (Personnel) Department and Staff!
  • Human Resources (HR Personnel) have all the information, details and data of employees – they can also micro film archive passports’ copies – if they want.
  • In the last weather disasters – especially Gonnu –  the offices too ‘were still not safe either’ with the passports! So what gives here?
  • However,      having said that – honestly and sincerely – I can and do understand and do appreciate the reasons and justifications given by some Employers –      evidenced by so many cases of employees abuses and running away cases      putting employers in great stress, troubles with the law – even in jail and in bankruptcies. Even with passports held or get excuse to get it first!
  • Besides,  the whole of GCC and many countries are doing the same!
  • Including The Public Sector companies too for that matter!
  • The big question here  is – why only for such category and cut of employees is it      applied more than others?
  • The victims are usually more the expatriates at the lower echelons and levels – like unskilled, labourers, lower grades – and sometimes even to the supervisors and middle management levels. This even for large corporations-family-run – and even National Companies for that matter!
  • In some companies All The Expatriate Staff disregarding levels – even the Top Brass! Family-run businesses the more (this may shock many!)
  • Let us be realistic and factual – despite all these controls – employees still run away from employers – continuous notices in the newspapers confirm this – though usually we find unabated the same companies and individuals putting up such notices – which needs to answer the questions – what gives? Or what else is new?
  •  Another fact and reality is over 86% percent of the especially family-run businesses are ‘managed’ by fellow expatriates – so why don’t they just issue a circular and or note to the Human Resources Managers (supposed to be only Omanis) to ‘release all the expatriate passports’? Remember the elephant and chain story?
  •  The more shocking part is that some of the owners or GMs, MDs, Directors etc always appear in newspapers and media – smiling and cheerful ‘good nice characters’ – as if nothing is happening in their offices they control!
  • This is the most despicable and annoying part of the whole debacles and aspects here!
  •   ‘Do not deceive yourself’ into thinking that you are nicer and friendlier to the boss or the owner – and he or she will release the passport to you – at least!
  • I have seen so many cases of when the expatriate staff needs to travel home quickly and rapidly due to family deaths and sicknesses (even on own accounts as some companies do not give this facility!) – and the ‘passport holder’ has gone to UAE or Interior – and they cannot break’ the safes holding the passports – or in some cases the passport cannot be found even – again misplaced by ‘The Keepers’!
  •  In some irate and peculiar set ups they make the employees sign a declaration to ‘ask you to keep our passport with you for safe-keeping syndromes’ in order to circumvent the laws. Shocking again these are large companies too!
  •  Makes you really sick and to invalidate your Ramadhan fasting – by throwing up!
  •  Like I have said so many times before – it becomes just mundane and boring stuff now!

Please treat your employees better, professionally and ethically – they bleed too – and the blood is just as red as yours!

Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

Shorter Version – For Those Who Asked For It! You Are Fired! Reply

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Shorter Version – For Those Who Asked For It!

At My Work Place!

You Are Fired!

There is nothing that is really so difficult, hard and that pains and eats into the very hearts and minds of many Managers and Human Resources Professionals than when it comes to terminating employees!

****

Remember Fred Flintstones cartoons? Series like The Office, Outsourced, Mumbai Calling, Fawlty Towers, and The Apprentice (famous Donald Trump!)? Whilst many of us may think it is that funny in watching such series like in the above cartoons and comedy series of people being fired – and their reactions – the truth is it is one of the most scaring and worrying phrase that working peoples will ever face in their lives is when you hear ‘You Are Fired’ being said to you by your boss or by those in Authority!

We have seen these films where the retort or rebuke comes from the subordinate when he or she says – I am not fired, I just quit! Then there is this cartoon where this boss character tells his subordinate – You should read your E-mail more often. What are you still doing here? I fired you two weeks ago! In the Omani culture and customs especially – unpleasant and unwelcome news are best avoided at all costs – but the NO will be communicated to you perhaps more in different subtle signs and formats!

There are few bosses (devoid of nationalities) and with guts and courage to tell you in advance – until it is too late! How can you tell if you are in the ‘firing range’ or ‘hit list of being fired’? Not to unnecessary scare or worry you with all the difficulties and problems we already have! But it is better to be prepared!

Here are some ‘tell tales’ signs:-

 Worst ever Staff and Performance ranking received.

 The IT Help Desk frequently comes in and asks to see your PC Laptop.

 The Boss comes continuously and asks progress and status of assigned projects and tasks.

 Your projects one by one are being assigned to others or being shut down.

 You are no longer invited to meetings or told what is going on.

 Everybody is extra nice and polite, even the guys who hardly spoke to you in the past.

 Reduction in fringe benefits (like a smaller office or car).

 When the Boss invites you to dinner (or lunch) and seems most uneasy and uncomfortable.

 People ignore or try to avoid you.

 A new and younger perhaps less educated qualified boss is brought in.

 Decline in business volumes and profits – or merger rumours.

 Impossible new tasks and time frames set for you.

 A job advertisement that looks like your job!

 Give a holiday break that you did not ask for.

 You made a big job error and mistake – but no one talks to you still yet!

 Consultants and Advisors are being brought in.

 The Security guards being more vigilant to insist to see your ID card.

 If it is a finger print entry system (or other) whenever you try it, it does not work.

 Requests for stationery support and services being ignored – or downplayed.

 Top brass or the CEO or the Senior Management purposely ignoring you.

 Unnecessary and unprovoked attacks, antagonism and insults towards you!

 And many others more!

Jobs are not easy to get nowadays – once you reach that certain age!

I had a good Indian friend once – more Senior Manager to me – and I asked him politely, tactfully and diplomatically – Mr. S – how can you tell tell-tale signals if you are being fired? He retorted to me – Why are they going to fire you? Two weeks later – he was fired – the poor man – I knew as The Human Resources Manager – but just could not tell him directly then – the Omani culture thing! Left it to the (Expatriate) CEO to do so! Just be careful!

Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

Words 660

P.S. The days of controlling people and their fate are NOW ALL OVER! Special Message!

Why I Am So Sad Today! – Rest In Peace! – RAW! Reply

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Why I Am So Sad Today! Rest in Peace – RAW!

Peace Be Upon Her!

In Remembrance – Feeling Very Sad Today!

Wednesday February 9th 2011.

Images just for illustration.

She had the most beautiful, enchanting and blossoming smile that you ever saw in such a pretty girl like RAW! Always cheerful and helpful – people flocked in and out of her Office just to visit and talk to her! Always a kind word and gesture to everyone – if it was the last sandwich which she had to keep for herself – she would offer it to you and she would go without!

The old man went up the stairs to the offices as he was afraid of using the lift! He was a very angry man – he had received a wrong electricity bill that went to over a Thousand Omani Rials! His electricity was also disconnected! He had travelled all the way to The Head Office from the Interior – because he did not receive any cheers from the Interior Branch.

He was shouting and addressing me – I had come in temporarily as The HR Consultant! How can my bill be so high? Last time I paid was less than OMR 20 (US Dollars 60)? I live with my wife and my two sons only in the small house!

Hearing the commotions, RAW stepped out from her Office. Abuuiiy! (Father!) Please come and sit down. She brought him water and coffee. Relaxed, the old man started crying! He was ashamed of himself – for shouting so loudly to so many others – and ‘making just a nuisance’ of himself! Do not cry Father she said to him. I will call the GM out of the meeting to see you just now!

Do not worry – she assured him – I will take care of you! And she did…. the old man got his electricity bill cancelled and the electricity returned – and a company car to take him home to his village 250 kilometers away. RAW also gave him Company Complimentary gifts – that is RAW for you – always caring and feeling for others! As a HR Management Consultant even for me – this was a great learning experience in kindness, care, feelings and in humanity – all RAW! 

***

Wednesday February 9th 2011.

In Remembrance – Feeling Very Sad Today!

After watching this traumatic video of The Egyptian demonstrations and the crying Wael Ghoneim – the hero of The Egyptian Uprising this day – I was calling this good friend of mine a CEO of a National Company – and he gave me the ‘shock of my life’ to tell me that his Executive Secretary – and a First Class High Profile lady in my books had died as another casualty figure (statistics) just recently – after asking him how she was and having not received any emails from her for quite a while.

I had covered this poor lady in My Books (www.majidbooks.com) as one great person who had always stood by me in offering me support, kind words and in encouragement in my books.

I had never expected to cry again! For me I try best to hold back my tears very much. But failed miserably this time! I still fail whenever I remember her. This poor lady was amongst one of the ‘casualty figures and statistics’ that we read in the newspapers every day and week – without abating an eyelid – as the ‘usual stories’ we read in the newspapers.
Or the usual pun – so what else is new?

I also did read this article by one Omani Columnist in the other newspaper titled Killer roundabout’ rings alarm bells in Mahdah – by Fahad Al Mukrashi. Every week we see also in the newspapers about road casualty figures in the newspapers – but as usual in the coming story we never imagine or visualize that it could be someone we know
well or related to.

Images just for illustration.

It seemed that an Omani family of 5 adults and 5 children had decided to get into a saloon car and drive all the way to Abu Dhabi in UAE. They decided to have lunch there and then to return on the same day. At 21:30 hrs, the father of the family perhaps overlooked   the Mahdah round about and caught by surprise – he panicked and braked sharply – and the car rolled over several times. Six members of the family died immediately but the father escaped with minor injury because he was wearing a seat belt and was awake and alone behind the wheels.

This is one girl that I really liked and admired – and was always a great fan and supporter of me. She was always encouraging and supportive – of me personally – my books and my writings. The happiest time she was when I dedicated some of her comments in my books and giving her complimentary copies.

She was always sending me nice warm supportive messages – like cheering your day or to make you smile messages. These always used to cheer mea lot  – especially when I was feeling down and sad. She was always beaming with welcome, smiles and kindness. Pretty smiles full of blossom and enlightenment!

She told me – Mr. M – you have not lost – you have won! Keep your head high and let no one succeed in trying to bring you down at all. You wrote 5 books and 2 in Management – none of your adversaries could write – let alone to
write a book!

She said to me – Actually you did build a successful company until those your adversaries tried hard and succeeded in bringing it down – together with yourself – and it was not due to your lack of trying – but once evil willful such peoples have set their minds God Allows them to be successful – and if they only knew what is waiting for them in the grave and The Day of Reckoning!

Most important is this. They are jealous and envious of you – and wish in their very hearts to be like you – but know they can never be. On top of that everybody holds you with the greatest of like, esteem and respect – but not them. And they know it too! Keep your head high always Mr. Majid. Do not let them undermine or marginalise you – or to make you unhappy! Or feel insignificant and small!

She said to me – If you die today or anything bad untoward happened to you there will be definitely more people with you than they can ever imagine!

Today I am crying again of the sad news and the gap in my life now. I miss her terribly and I wished I had the courage and guts to tell her what I felt for her – but was afraid to do so – with the age differences and so many other things.

Once I asked her if she was interested to get married or what – or why not still. With her usual sense of humour and wit she replied – They are waiting for me to get a higher salary first before they proposed to me! My
salary is still small to them!

May Allah God SWT Rest her angelic kind soul in eternal peace in this world and the eternal – and open the highest heavens for her – Amin.

Inshallah I will always pray for her so long as I will live – Amin.

By Majid Al Suleimany

You Are Fired! Reply

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At My Work Place!

You Are Fired!

There is nothing that is really so difficult, hard and that pains and eats into the very hearts and minds of many Managers and Human Resources Professionals than when it comes to terminating employees! Remember also in our culture and customs, unpleasant and unwelcome news are best avoided at all costs, but the NO will be communicated in different signs and formats!  

***

 

Long time ago when I still had my Consultancy firm, my younger daughter M used to drop in the Office after school in the Office, or she would come in on Thursdays. I watched a very amusing anecdote one day when she would sit in my hot seat of the CEO, and call over my son who was working with me in the firm in his summer break away from College. She would call over her brother and say to him – F, you are fired! – As if she was the CEO. Then she would add in – God, I have always wanted to do that!

Definitely comes from watching too many dramas in the satellite dish. Then she would cut in – you have half an hour to clear your desk, or I shall call in the Security Staff to throw you out. The whole Office would get in a mirth uproar, but the good son would lament (though being the elder) – This girl scares me. Where does she get these things from? Dad, this is not a laughing matter – you should not encourage her to do such things! 

Actually, the son is right; being fired is not a joke – though I would reiterate to him that the good sister is only having some jest and fun at his expense. Not that she can fire anyone for real, though the Indian lady Assistant would say –  M,  I hope you never become my real boss in life, you scare me!

 Then I think we have read this incident that had happened in a neighbouring some time back This Head of a  Marketing Team had called in his Sales Team who were not able to reach their set sales targets. He put all their names in a raffle pot, saying that these are the guys who were not able to reach their set marketing goals, and as a lesson,  he was going to fire one of them.

 To make insult over injury, he asked one of ‘those being fired’ to draw out ‘The victim’. The guys went complaining to the Authorities, and the terminated victim was reinstated and a good dressing down for the dramatics and antics ‘Firing Marketing Manager’. The Sales Team was able to justify that they could not sell the goods due to the fact that they were ‘nearing expiry dates’!

 

How can you tell if you are in the ‘firing range’ or ‘hit list of being fired’?

Not to unnecessary scare or worry you with all the difficulties and problems we already have? But it is better to be prepared! Like I said in these columns before, the East Africans have this expression – if you see your neighbour’s head being shaved, be sure to put water on your head just in case – or your head maybe shaved dry like the one you see it being done to! Better be ready and to be  prepared!

Remember Fred Flintstones cartoons? Series like The Office, Outsourced, Mumbai Calling, Fawlty Towers, and The Apprentice (famous Donald Trump!)? Whilst many of us may think it is that funny in watching such series like in the above cartoons and comedy series of people being fired – and their reactions – the truth is it is one of the most scaring and worrying phrase that working peoples will ever face in their lives is when you hear ‘You Are fired’ being said to you by your boss or by those in Authority!

We have seen these films where the retort or rebuke comes from the subordinate when he or she says – I am not fired, I just quit! Then there is this cartoon where this boss character tells his subordinate – You should read your E-mail more often. What are you still doing here? I fired you two weeks ago!

In the Omani (Arab) culture and customs especially – unpleasant and unwelcome news are best avoided at all costs – but the NO will be communicated to you perhaps more in different subtle signs and formats! There are few bosses
(devoid of nationalities) and with guts and courage to tell you in advance – until it is too late!

How can you tell if you are in the ‘firing range’ or ‘hit list of being fired’? Not to unnecessary scare or worry you with all the difficulties and problems we already have? But it is better to be prepared!

Here are some ‘tell tales’ signs:-

v  Worst ever Staff and Performance ranking received in your life and in your services in the Company!

v  The IT Help Desk comes and asks to see your PC for no reason, you did not complain of anything wrong with your PC!

v  The Boss comes continuously and asks progress and status of assigned projects and tasks.

v  Your projects one by one are being assigned to others or being shut down.

v  The worst case scenario when The Boss says sorry – but he is assigning it to someone else  but not you – and you have to hand over it to him. Most probably, he is the guy who has been brought in by ‘influence’ (Wastaah)!

v  Requests for stationery support and services being ignored – or downplayed.

v  For example, you have asked for two pens black, 2 blue – but they give you only one pen black or blue! They tell you – stationery is out – and we shall bring in when they come in!

v  Forgetting all that you have achieved, but judge you by a new and different set of rules and measures – just to pin you down!

v  You are no longer invited to meetings or told what is going on. If you ask you are told ‘this meeting is not for you – or your presence is not required this time’! Key words – This Time!

v  Reduction in fringe benefits (like a smaller office or car) – with the flimsiest of excuses given why!

v  When the Boss invites you to dinner (or lunch) and seems most uneasy and uncomfortable when you do turn up!

v  Or the ‘Omani way’ alternatively makes a point to see that you be treated like a VIP. Your throat is ready for hanging – you will feel guilty to make a big scene later because of this!

v   When peoples you see talking in the corridors suddenly go silent when you approach, or go extra nice! (The news has leaked out).

v  Top brass or the CEO or the Senior Management ignoring you.

v  People ignore or try to avoid you. For example – The CEO or the Management pretends not to have seen you – though you have tried to draw their attention and or to say Hi!

v  Or people pass your Office quickly without saying Hello – or go other routes to avoid you.

v  Everybody is extra nice and polite, even the guys who hardly spoke to you in the past.

v  Even the Tea boy keeps asking if you would like more tea, coffee etc – when you just had a cup 15 minutes back – or offer to run continuous errands for you!

v  A new and younger perhaps less educated qualified boss is brought in.

v  Decline in business volumes and profits – or merger rumours.

v  Impossible new tasks and time frames set for you.

v  A job advertisement that looks like your job!

v  Give a break to you did not ask for.

v  You have made a big job error, judgement and mistake – but no one talks to you still yet!

v  Consultants and Advisors brought in.

v  People who hardly talked to you in the past now do so!

v  That includes The Boss’s Secretary or Assistant – who hardly talked to you in the past, makes a point to talk to you, or ask you – how are you doing? Troubled waters ahead, more when she asks about your family for the first time since you had met her!

v  The Security guards being more vigilant to insist to see your ID card.

v  If it is a finger print entry system (or other) whenever you try it, it does not work.

v  You have to wait for someone else to come along to let you in. Notice that with only attempt he or she is in, whilst you tried 6 times to no avail.

v  Unnecessary and unprovoked attacks, antagonism and insults towards you!

v  Worst is in front of juniors and subordinates – or customers and clients – so you can take your pride and esteem in and make it easy for them by resigning yourself! That is the most unethical and unprofessional ugly turn of events and sequences!

v  And many others more – depending on the corporate culture and environment (society)!

Jobs are not easy to get nowadays – once you reach that certain age!

I had a good Indian friend once – more Senior Manager to me – and I asked him politely, tactfully and diplomatically – Mr. S – How can you tell tell-tale signals if you are being fired? He retorted to me – Why are they going to fire you? Two weeks later – he was fired – the poor man – I knew as The Human Resources Manager before – but just could not tell him directly then – the Omani culture thing! Left it to the (Expatriate) CEO to do so!

Just be careful! Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

Arrogance, Pride, Conceit, Vanity and Haughtiness 1

Between Us Only! Column, Good Article, My Other Articles Opinions and Views, Opinion • Tags: , , , , ,

Arrogance, Pride, Conceit, Vanity and Haughtiness

There is nothing so untoward, unbecoming, dangerous and damaging in life than a person who is always very proud, conceited, arrogant, haughty and vain. Arrogance, Pride and Conceit are so dangerous that the Holy Quran says that if people acquire these foul traits, then these traits become a part of their nature and they become always rebellious and vain.

The Holy Quran says that even on the Day of Judgment these proud and conceited persons will behave the same way as they did in this world. They don’t see anything other than their own point of view. Those who are proud in this world will be the same in front of Allah. “Pride, conceit and boasting are deep seated illnesses. They are defined as a person viewing himself as greater and more important than others, while viewing others as inferior and mediocre.”

The Holy Quran further says that when these conceited, proud and vain persons are brought to the grounds of Judgment on Doomsday, they will learn that, in fact, they are destined for Hell. Then, they will object to Allah and accuse Him of making a mistake. They will swear that they are good people and will say that Allah is making a mistake by unjustly assigning them to Hell!

The Signs of Arrogance etc.

It manifests itself in the speech of a person when he habitually says, “I did this and I am that,” just as Satan did when he said, “I am better than him; You created me from fire, and You created him from clay.” (Qur’an 7:12). Its impact on gatherings (of knowledge and places of importance) is that one will try to push himself to go first, raise his voice over others, or seek to open the gathering.

In discussions, it manifests when a person refuses to listen to those who question his opinion and respond to their inquiries. An arrogant person, when he is reminded, responds harshly, and when he rebukes others, does so with extreme rigidity. Any person who sees himself better than others is an arrogant person.

References in The Holy Quran.

  • “Arrogance is refusing to acknowledge what is right and considering others to be inferior.” – [Reported
    by AI-Hakim]
  • “No one with the slightest particle of arrogance in his heart will enter Paradise.” – [Reported by AI-Bukhari]
  • Allah, the Almighty, says in the Qudsi hadith, “Allah loveth not any arrogant boaster.” – [Luqman: 18]
  • Allah, the Almighty, says, “Pride is My garment and haughtiness My Mantle: whoever vies with Me for them I will throw into Hell.” – [Reported by Muslim]
  • The Messenger (pbuh) said, “A debate took place between heaven and hell. The latter said; in me shall enter tyrant and the arrogant people: while heaven said, “In me shall enter the weak and
    the lowly.”
  • Allah decided the issue by saying, You are heaven, My mercy, through you I shall have mercy on whomsoever I please; and you are hell, a place of punishment, through you I shall chastise whomsoever I like. It is incumbent upon me to fill both of you!” – [Reported by AI-Bukhari]
  • Allah, the Almighty, says, “Do not speak to the people with your face turned away, nor walk proudly on earth; for Allah does not love any arrogant boaster” – – [Luqman: 18]
  • Salama Ibn Al-Akwa’ recounted that a man was eating with his left hand in the presence of the Prophet (pbuh). The Prophet (pbuh) told him, “Eat with your right.” To which the man replied, “I
    cannot.”
  • Though nothing stopped him but arrogance. The Prophet (pbuh) said,’ “May you not be able to” And the man could never lift his right hand to his mouth again.” – [Reported by Ahmad and AI-Hakim and it is an authentic hadith]
  • “Shall I tell you who the people of the Hell-Fire are? The cruel, the haughty and the arrogant” –  Reported before]
  • “There are three people whom Allah will not speak to, look at or exonerate on the Day of Judgement, and who will have a painful torment: he who wears the hem of his garment low (out of pride), he who
    reminds recipients of his charity to them and he who sells merchandise swearing that he paid more for it than he actually did” – [Reported by Muslim, An-Nisa’i and Ibn Majah]
  • “What comes down the anklebones of the caftan is in Hell” – [Reported by AI-Bukhari]
  • “Understand that a person will not be arrogant unless he believes that he has certain religious or worldly qualities which (he views) as being perfect and complete (in comparison to others).
  • The wickedest arrogance is that of someone who exalts himself over people of his learning and gloats to himself about his superiority. The knowledge of such person is of absolutely no benefit to him.
  • There is no power nor might save in Allah Most High, Most Glorious.
  • The Prophet (PBUH) said, “Quarreling and arguing is not the way of Muslims. I will not intercede on their behalf on the Day of Judgment if they indulge in such things.” He (s) added, “First Allah ordered me to stop people from idol worship and polytheism. The next thing he ordered me to do was to stop people from argument and quarrel!”
  • The Prophet of Allah (PBUH) said – Whoever exercises patience at the time of an argument, will be rewarded with three gardens in Paradise. Of these three gardens two are named Ridwan and Aden. The third garden has no particular name.

The Causes of Arrogance

Sheikh al-Jawi, in his commentary on al-Ghazzali’s text wrote,

  • The first is knowledge
  • The second is being active, and in worship
  • The third is lineage (ancestry)
  • The fourth is beauty
  • The fifth is wealth
  • The sixth is strength and power
  • The seventh is having a large following, students and close friends.”

Types of Pride and Conceit

  • One type of conceit results in argument and quarrel. This means that the person insists on getting his way and wants others to accept his point of view. This trait is more pronounced in some persons. They tend to force their opinions on others.
  • Another type of conceit manifests itself in stubbornness in behaviour with others. There are people who are so stubborn that they prefer to jump into a deep well rather than change their point of view. This is a very harmful and dangerous trait.
  • Another type of conceit results in excessive expectations on others.
  • One of the fruits of conceit is refusing to accept any criticism.
  • Criticising people is necessary but more important is to accept and take constructive criticisms in the right spirit. People face difficulties in this matter.
  • Amongst my brothers my favourite is one who informs me of my failings and defects. Bihar, Vol 74, Page 282
  • Money and wealth – especially those that got them quickly and unexpectedly – and FORGET to Thank Allah SWT.
  • Being highly opinionated, prejudiced, bias, stereotyping others – and ridiculing and belittling others in
    life!

Note

Arrogance, Pride, Conceit, Vanity and Haughtiness

Major part of this article has been taken from the book ‘Kitabul Kabayer’ (Major Sin) – Written by : Imam Shamsu ed-Deen, Ad-Dhahabi.

Let us try our level best to avoid eternal Hell Fire and The Punishment of The Grave – AMIN

RAMADHAN KAREEM.

Majid Al Suleimany.

Our Own Lives To Run! Or Respect Your Parents! 2

Between Us Only! Column, Good Article • Tags:

The Oman Daily Observer
Features – Between Us Only! – Of Sunday August 7th 2011 


Between Us Only!  

Our Own Lives To Run!

Or Respect Your Parents! 

This is a familiar call and cry nowadays in many homes with working children – but how often and how much? Please read on…

Or Respect Your Parents!

From what I hear all around, there is this increasing ugly development and phenomena now in society. That is of the working now children forgetting and disrespecting their parents – and having no time for their parents! The element also of being ungrateful with short memories of how their parents had sacrificed a lot – and took care of them since small – and the children forget who their parents are now! Many parents are now facing this increasing ugly development, situation and phenomena – that is of the children being ungrateful inconsiderate and not in remembrance towards their parents!

But we have also heard of – ‘Spare the rod, and spoil the child’ – or similar – how you rear the child is how that child becomes in the future!  The children nowadays are becoming increasingly self-centred, selfish and greedy too! When the children were young – many parents failed to show them that life is a matter of give and take. Of remembering and being grateful! Parents give their children everything and have never asked anything from them – even symbolic like to go and bring them a glass of water – or open the door instead of the parent or maid!

Not all the parents can still depend on themselves – with even their pensions not being secured, forthcoming and a surety – and themselves being in great financial stress and troubles! The children are also in great financial problems with all kinds of loans taken – and the end result is a great tear at the society fabric as a result!

When you have money everybody respects you and when you have no money nobody wants to know you! Even your owen blood and flesh do not care about anybody s- ince now they have their own families – and ignore their parents. Allah Kareem. This is what brings for us a “TEST” to show how strong our Iman (faith) is – but children forget what you have sacrificed your life for them. God Is Great!

Truthfully May Allah (God) Give us the willpower and the strength to stand this and take us when we still are capable of taking care of ourselves but never depend on children – as they have their own lives to look into – and they do not require parents any more is what they think of that they will not and do not need our help any more.

As a kid in that distant land I grew up, we did not have Television then – but just radios – and that too you are lucky to have! In the common lingo there they used to stage dramas and plays – and one of them was comedian Mr. Jongoo (J from now – an African name!)  Family Episodes.

In one of the episodes, J sells of almost everything he owns and possesses to send his son to study in England. He goes on bragging that my son got a Degree in Engineering, and he will return home soon to take ‘a big fat job’. So he brags to his friends – My problems are soon going to be over – my son will return soon and take us to his big house. He plans for his son to marry his cousin – a village girl but only educated to Primary school. What more does he want? So
long as she can read his letters from England – and that is that!

The ‘shock and awe’ is more on J whose son  returns with his own frame of mind and thinking and he wants to marry another girl from the town highly educated and sophisticated – but from another tribe – and even in beliefs! The son warns the father – I am over 18 – and there is civil marriage registration in case ‘you want to fight with me’. The father and mother both give in! The son does get a big and fat job – and moves into a ‘big villa’ in town!

After the wedding in town in a big hotel, J and wife decide to go and stay with the son and on their own decision without consulting the son! Another ‘shock and awe’ as they are rebuffed and in receiving rough and raw treatment as being unwelcomed! The daughter-in-law speaks in English to her husband – What kind of parents do you have here – they do not know even how to use the flushing toilets – and use ‘their dirty hands’ to eat food! And see how dirty they look and present themselves – and making the house all dirty with their village baskets and bags! I feel so ashamed!

Then the son replies in English – They are my parents. I cannot tell them to go – but ifthey go – all the better for everyone! Unknown to them a visitor passes these messages to J – who confronts the son that he had sold everything he owned to get him this education – And this is how you treat and repay us now? I leave everything to God only – The father cries!

They return to the village – though it is a comedy (of errors!) but nobody is laughing as the villagers sadly receive them back home! Soon after somehow twists and ironies of fate and life – the son somehow losses both job (and his-good-weather-wife) – and asks for forgiveness from his family and the village – and end of drama play!

As I grew up in life, I said to myself – Inshallah I will never be like this son to his parents! I will try all my level best – so help me God! Amin – Amen.

PLEASE – Respect and Esteem Your Parents! A Universal Message – Especially to All The Youth. See the video and more details at the site!

Take Care! Happy Ramadhan Greetings!

By Majid Al Suleimany

 

PLEASE – Respect and Esteem Your Parents!

Please watch the video here – or below.

Video 1

Video2

Translation In English – Respect and Esteem Your Parents!

In short the son agitated on the father asking what is that? A sparrow (bird)! The old man asking the same question all over again!

The Father goes inside the house and brings out a diary to the angry irritated son showing how many times the son had asked the same questions as a child – but the father did not get angry! Actually the son had asked 21 times the same question!

The son apologises and hugs the father – followed by verses in The Quraan saying how we should behave to our parents – like giving them nice comforting words – and not to scream and shout at them – even if we were angry!

A Universal Message – especially to The Youth.

Enjoy … and remember the message!

Actually no language is needed to explain it… The body signs say it all!

You see we are all together in this … and each basket has bad apples (fish)!!

I do not know why there is now so much worry, fear, hatreds, animosities and anger nall around owadays!

Try Here Also If Above fails….!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzD4J7q3VCA

http://www.friendskorner.com/forum/f137/video-respect-your-parents-189150/

Parents_-_video

Double Click Above To Open

http://www.friendskorner.com/forum/f137/video-respect-your-parents-189150/

Respect Your Parents Film!

by Majid Al-Suleimany on January 6, 2011 – 1 comment

The film is in Turkish I think?


This bored old man is sitting on a bench with his young son on a bench outside their home. The son is reading a newspaper, ignoring his bored father.

A sparrow lands on the grass in front of them continuously chirping. So the old man asks – What is that? A sparrow the son replies. Again the Father asks – the same answer. A number of times the son becomes angry and starts talking loudly to the father – what is wrong with you?

Being disturbed away from reading his newspaper – A bird! I told you a sparrow! A bird!

The Father gets up. Now the son asks – Now where are you going? The Old man says with his hands it is alright – and he goes back in the house. The son is seen lamenting on his action. The Father emerges with a diary in his hands and sits down with the son. He asks him to read a particular entry in the diary. Aloud he says to the son. The entry says – My son of three years of age today asks me what is this? I replied him it was a bird – a sparrow! He asked me the same question 21 times more – but I was not angry – because I can see that my son is very excited to have seen this bird!

The son now breaks down – and hugs the father – followed by The Teachings on Respecting Our Parents.

Tears come out whenever I see this film – and I wish I had given my parents more time and attention when they were still alive!

Take Care! Happy Ramadhan Greetings!

By Majid Al Suleimany