Women In The Working Field! ^Reply

For Thursday – June 6^th2013.

Between Us Only!

Women in the Working Field!

The other day I was very much touched and impressed – when this young University young girl graduate had confidently called me and wanted to find out some more details and research on a social increasing phenomena topic that I had written long time back on Increasing Alcohol Abuse! As an elderly Omani – I was very much impressed by the kind of searching probing inquisitive questions she had and on her insistence to have basic facts and information and research – and as to ‘how and why – and on what I had based my assertions’ that there was an ‘increase’ in the phenomena?

Images – Working Women – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

Unfortunately, I did not have the data and the information to back my assertions – but was based more on my ‘gut feelings’ and what I see and hear in the streets mainly – and I am still not ‘that good’ in concocting reference names and figures in just supporting on my assertion! However, if this is the new Omani in our young students now – the future looks very blossoming and rosy indeed – God be praised – Amin!

TImages – Working Women – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

hen just yesterday my son asked if he could send in something that was really eating and burning him intensely. So I agreed. I will reproduce the article below verbatim!

Quote – Women in the working field, anywhere. Recently I had a great conversation with three of my co-workers, two were men and one lady, the conversation started about any normal working environment; blaming others, however the conversation took a huge U-turn, one of the male co-worker asked the female co-worker, “if your husband asked you today to quit your job and become a house-wife, will you do it?” she like any Omani women these days said “No, I love my job, I’m good at my job and I want to grow” I totally honor and respect her answer.

No matter what gender you are, you can always rise up the challenges in life and succeed, no matter what nationality or religion, hard work and dedication can take you anywhere, like a great quote “The harder I work, the luckier I get”. So you think that’s the end of the story, well if it was this would be the shortest ever “Between Us only” article ever and my father would ask me never to write again. Like father like son my father is a strong believer in Women working anywhere, why only yesterday he hugged my younger sister and “good-bye” kissed her forehead and said “I’m so proud of you”, you see my younger sister is going to an oil-field somewhere in Oman in which heat is one of the least of their worries, a MALE- Dominate place, where it’s all work no play, under the grouching sun of Oman, to be an electrical engineer. My father and mother were almost in tears seeing her going to school for the first time, only to assure she will be in this position someday, being dominated in a place where it’s hard to dominate. Now again my parents are in tears, only happy tears

Yet my male co-workers came up with various religious quotes, old Omani sayings and other arguments that suggested that women Must be house wives, be at home to take care of the kids and of course feed the husband, while most of us do agree in these arguments, they must understand that these statements and situations were more suitable and more realistic during those days, when everything was small and simpler, where yes women stayed at home while the husband brings the goods, to teach the children and best of all, being the mother.

Images – Working Women – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

If we still lived in those era’s then yes I totally agree with my male co-workers, but we live in an era that even having a 2000 OMR salary might NOT be enough to live, an era that position, money, the car you drive, where you live is now a goal. Funny how things works and is moving these days, while you still see people having the worst of cars, living in small houses and other things that most of people take for granted, is planning and waiting for the day that he will leave that life to have a better one! We all do, but now is our mothers, our sisters and our daughters who have the same agenda and plans. Oprah Winfrey, Martha Steward and other amazing, strong women had made an example for all them today and for that I salute them.

Long time back someone asked me who’s my idols, my inspirations and people I look up to. A simple question but it takes a lot of time to understand and analysis, I told I have 5 people that I look up and I wish I have just 15% of their dedications, their motivations and their success, my father and my mother are one of them, two of my childhood idols FAB and SAA.

The last person is my wife! Weird because my wife is younger than me, didn’t experience life as much as I did, might not went through want I went through, yet she’s without a doubt the most intelligent, most charismatic and most of all the most humble young lady I’ve ever met, the best of these all that those were NOT the reason I’ve chose her to be my life partner. She’s simply strong in my definition, which makes it hard for any man to find, you see having a strong women in life means she will be there for you no matter what, because if you fail, she fails as well. And if you succeed; well she succeeded as well.

Happy Faces At Work!

So in closing, I’m a strong believer in Women power, if we can do it, she can, if we failed in it, well maybe if we give her a chance, and she might succeed in it. I leave you with a quote from Margaret Thatcher, who we all know was called “The Iron Lady” she quoted “Any woman who understands the problems of running a home will be nearer to understanding the problems of running a country.”

And ooh the female co-worker I was talking about, she joined the marketing department here not knowing a single thing, to basically running the entire marketing department today, a true example. – Take care – Unquote

As a person who was in HR, I know of many real life cases of young Omani girls – University graduates with good degrees and in specialisation – staying at home – whilst the husband – yet poorly paid – is the only bread winner! When I asked one of the girls I fought hard to recruit – What are you doing now – and the engineering graduate too – she said to me weirdly and cutely – bringing babies into the world – and cooking for my good husband!

Frankly, I feel that the youngsters can still really surprise and amaze us – and it is not always the ‘rebelling, rioting, misguided and unconventional things’ that we are used to see – always! But even if they do – in an interview with one ‘rioting Turkish youngster’ – he was being asked why he was protesting the new rules – if he was not the drinking type? And he retorted that ‘it was just the principle and the ethics of the thing’ – and that people should be ‘left to decide their own lives as they best want it run’ – and the business of no one else – even the state for that matter!

Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

Ending Relationships in Life! ^Reply

For Thursday – May 30^th 2013.

Between Us Only!

Ending Relationships in Life!

I propose that we abandon our relations entirely. I shall lose nothing by it, for my own emotional tie with you has long been a thin thread – the lingering effects of past disappointments – Letter from Dr. Freud to Discipline Jung in association relationships breakup in 1913.
It is not you – it is all me! – Famous Break Up Line!

Image Dr. Freud and Jung – 1913.

Life is about making choices – sometimes you are required to make extremely hard and difficult decisions in your options – stick to one and move forward in your life now in that direction – and fight as best as you can – even against great odds – not to waver or change! It is not an easy thing to do – but you know deep down in your heart – and in deep self-analysis and review – in deep conscience analysis – that this is the only right path and thing to do now!

There are many circumstances that can bring your life to a jolt that you need to make that brave decision now in your life! You might have suspected or even known for a long time that the person is not your real friend – or is not in your true interests, intentions and well-being – but you have been going along because you are impotent and weak to make the brave and courageous decision to break this relationship for good!

It maybe you had trusted this person so much to have been on your side – but all the time he was working against you from the inside – or even in front of you – but the eyes cannot see; the ears cannot hear; and the mouth cannot even speak out. You end as the person most blind, deaf and mute – and end as a trusting stupid incompetent bumbling stupid person – who has failed miserably in life to stand for oneself – and those that have relied and depended on you for doing the right, correct, ethical and professional thing – even if the repercussions could be dangerous and harmful to one. The question then props in – Are you a man or a mouse?

Images – Breaking Relationships – Most hard and painful!

Images For Demonstration Purposes Only!

A long time ago, when I was a kid – my late father – let him rest in peace – was introducing me to what he thought was his close business friend and associate! My father hardly spoke any English – and this man was insulting my father in front of my very eyes! As a kid, I was so scared of my father that I never dared to tell him this!

At this time also – my poor father had taken the wrong side in life by not supporting the locals there in their hopes and aspirations to become independent from the colonial masters – and he was very close in friendships to the much despised and hated then colonial DC – District Commissioner!

Images Relationships! – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

Wherever this DC moved – people had to stop doing everything they were doing and stand up. I was playing marbles with my friends – and continued playing and ignoring him – whilst my friends froze to death in their tracks! The DC wanted to know who this boy belonged to? When he was told it was my father – he told me – You are lucky that you are your father’s son – otherwise you would see what would have happened to you today!

That night my father reprimanded me – and for the first time in his life he showed me his true wisdom and pragmatism. He said to me – I understand what that man said to you. But so what? Do not think that what I am doing is not wrong – but I gain more by being his friend (DC) than by going against him. I am also able to sell more of my things in the shop than the other shopkeepers – even if their shops are more stocked and bigger than mine. I feel the air – and if I see the changes coming that will make me need to change – believe me I will change too fast – even if it will be very hard, challenging and difficult in the beginning! But change I will – I assure you!

Whilst he (DC) is still here – he will still be my friend. The friendship works for both of us meanwhile – he needs me – and I need him! He may think I am a gullible, stupid, naive and unsuspecting person – but I could say the same things to him! So the next time he comes around – there is no harm to stop playing – and going with the tide!

Remember he cautioned – going against the tide will drown you! Even if I have inside me full contempt and ridicule of the person – I will not show it to him openly – because I will end as the bigger loser! And why do it – when things are working out for me – by going this route? I will remain on this route as far as is bearable and tolerable!

Images Relationships – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

I never appreciated much what my poor dad had told me until further far more years in life when in Secondary School and we learnt about Okonkwo in Things Fall Apart! by Chinua Achebe – the great Author – who had died was buried recently! Then I realised how pragmatic, smart and intelligent my late father really was!

When the wind for change came in – my late father was the local council member looking after food in the place’s Independence celebrations – now their friend too! He had changed sides with the strong forces of change! Sadly, I never put this in practise in my career life – though my pragmatic peers did – and my misfortune in life! Mistakenly, I thought being transparent, frank and open was a better option for me!

In one of the films I saw long time back, these villages in Europe were hoisting the flags of the conquering and invading Nazi Germany! When the Allied Forces came in – they waved their flags instead – with exception of one ‘slow’ person who still had the Nazi flag – but harm was prevented to him when it was realised it was so. He was a happier person to get new colour flags – and that tells a very big story here of what really is at stake in life! And in relationships!

These things go down to even a lower level in our own lives – in our personal lives and associations too! The other day a good relative of ours came to our house – and so how granny was playing around with his grandchildren. Then he said to me – You are a lucky person – but you do not know it really! You see for me though I have grandchildren too – but I just woke up one day and I had decided then to end the relationships with my wife after 35 years of marriage.

Image – Ending of Relationships!

He says to me – All this time I was naive and dreamful that she would change one day – but change she never did! It was no point in continuing the relationships any further – but I had to be strong willed and determined not to waver and change – though the temptations came many times to do so – I tell you! Any regrets I ask him? He retorts – Only like now seeing you playing with your grandchildren – and all as one in the family!

May Allah God Always Guide and Direct us to the right path and way – Amin – Amen

Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

A Question of Loyalty! ^Reply

For Now Thursday – May 16^th 2013.

Between Us Only!

A Question of Loyalty!

O ye who believe! Obey Allah and Obey the Messenger and those in authority among you. And if you disagree over anything, refer it to Allah and the Messenger, if you should believe in Allah and the Last Day. That is the best [way] and best in result – Quraan 4.59
· Loyalty is the pledge of truth to oneself and others.- Ada Valez – Boardley
A Question of Loyalty is the fourteenth episode of the BBC comedy series Yes Minister and was first broadcast 6 April 1981

If you are faced in life of a dilemma situation where you may need to tell one the painful bitter truth – and not doing so or in remaining quiet – in order for peace and just to continue to maintain friendships and relationships – which one would you go for? It is a loaded question – or as it is being said – a one million question! You could retort by saying that it all depends on the style, tact and diplomacy that you may need to use – or as it is said in some quarters – of sugar coating the bitter pill – before you give it! But what if there are no takers? And all your best efforts and determination have failed miserably?

Images Loyalty – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

And have you considered of the repercussions and consequences of showing indifference – when the person asks you pointblank – why? Why did you not tell me? Because you would not listen! Yes – but still you should have told me – you at least owe this to me! And in brief and in summary – that is my life’s story – by saying it – however bitter and painful the truth can be! For me that is the preferred option – rather than go with the tide – and remain quiet! Admittedly going with the tide can drown you! But did you notice too that it is only the ‘dead fish’ that go with the tide!

In my current life status – I have some ladies that write to me ‘complaining bitterly ‘ about their spouses and how they get treated. The discomfiting and the unfortunate part is that I know well their spouses – and that is what is being said of ‘hiding skeletons in the closets’ – or as the East Africans say – ‘each house hides its secrets inside the house – you cannot see it from outside’!

Apart from semantics of loyalty – what can I say to them? That perhaps it takes two to tango? As soon as you say that – or try to intimate that perhaps she had contributed to the situation – then all hell is let loose – and you are now involved in the triangular relationships – even if you were determined not to! The problem with some people is this ‘I’ thing – they are always right – and can never be wrong! I know of a very good friend of mine married for over 35 years – if he has made a mistake to his wife or children – he will come forward to admit it – even if belatedly!

Images Loyalty – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

He tells me that in all this long period ‘not even one day did the wife come forward to admit anything she had done wrong – even inadvertently! How is it possible that you as a human being can remain like an angel that has done no wrong? But she will easily apologise to the office staff – or her friends – but never her husband! Yet the lady is supposed to be religious and observing but only in the other aspects – but not in equation is the husband there! The triple hypocrisy out of it all!

As Loyal as Mother and Child! Images For Demonstration Purposes Only!

This week my two sequel books in the Between Us Only! series were released! In one of the book was an article about how I left one place! There is a new man there – under ‘New Management’ theme and focus! So I sent my book to him – pointing out the chapter for his attention! I did not expect much in return with exception of either being just ignored – as the usual cases – or even the book given to someone else – ‘if you are interested’ in his works! The surprise and excitement was all mine – when the good pragmatic man was so kind and receptive – and it even made me feel guilty of adding that chapter in the book!

In my career life I had one lady staff who was always calling in sick – and she in many times did not even bring medical proofs of being sick – but I used ‘to cover and protect her’ because I knew about her case well personally! The day I had resigned from the place – what else is new? – another boss came in! She was so excited- because their families knew each other well from old days! The guy even teased me that ‘he was invited for lunch in her house – were you invited? I said emphatically – No! Lucky you! In God’s mysterious ways – the relationships soon soured – and she started losing salary money whenever she did not turn up – because the man followed the book rules! She was soon heard to lament – I am being punished by what I did to M1

In one of my Executive Search Selection campaigns – I got one Omani Engineer so desperate that he even had considered to apply for a job in a war torn Arab country! He feared that one day he will end as a casualty of indiscriminate road bombings! He was a good candidate – only his problem was his mouth – he spoke! I understood well the dilemma – being myself a victim! He ended in a very high profile job somewhere else – with full power and authority! Some years later they were looking for a temporary HR Consultant – guess who got the job? Not me for sure! That is how the cookie crumbles – as our good Brits say!

I could write chapters and chapter on this theme – but I am taking into mind what my Features Editor said to me about my columns – so I will end here!

ADDENDUM – His Majesty visit to PDO on 12^th May 2013 and receiving this SMS message from the MD brought tears to my eyes! You will excuse me for now getting old and being a diabetic case! The SMS just said – This afternoon we were privileged and honoured to be visited at our MAF offices by His Majesty Sultan Qaboos Bin Said. I and members of the MDC presented PDO business priorities and key achievements. His Majesty sent his best wishes to all employees and was appreciative of PDO efforts in oil and gas production and our wider programme to support Oman. PDO MD

See Full Post here at www.majidsn.com

http://majidsn.com/2013/05/13/hm-sultan-qaboos-visit-to-pdo/

Images HM Visit to PDO

Regards,

Majid Al Suleimany

Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

Marriages Between Cousins! ^Reply

Between Us Only!

Marriages Between Cousins!

‘Consanguinity Marriages’

Marriages between cousins – or the Medical Term – is ‘Consanguinity Marriages’.
In some Western countries – like in USA – they even ban such marriages – and perhaps because medically proved to be harmful and resultant genetic disorders and deformities – especially to the offspring!
Encouraged, however, in many Muslims (Arab) societies – mainly for ‘the family, tribe and other ties and preservations’.

I do not know if you agree with me or not – but I am a firm believer that before one can be allowed to marry – he or she should undergo a sort of test to determine suitability of being parents – and bringing children into this world – looking after them as they are growing and being nurtured! Why is it that we have licenses for driving cars – or businesses – or even getting education and training certificates, diplomas and degrees? The idea must sound absurd – but is it really? Think on it for a minute!

Image – Arab Henna

In one of the famous light-hearted moments that my late father would not ever forget to his dying day was when he called me in front of the Council of Family Elders in that distant land – and told them that M – still only in Primary school at 16 years – had something to say – a request – to the Elders – and if they would ‘please pay attention’ to listen to him! I was a very naïve trusting boy – and did not notice that the ‘sniggers’ were already forming – and trying hard to be subdued!

You are going to marry her!

So my late father says promptly and encouragingly to me – Okay – your Uncles are listening! The word in English remains as Uncle – but in Arabic there are differences between father’s brother and mother’s brother – but they were all there waiting interestingly for me to begin. I started in my broken Arabic – but they encouragingly said to me to speak in the local lingo – we will understand you! Subdued sniggers again!

When I finished talking – everybody had already fallen frolicked on the ground – laughing uncontrollably and incessantly! I was really puzzled and confused as to what was going on – so they again asked me ‘to repeat myself’ – followed by more laughter and mirth. One of the uncles hugged me tightly – ‘you made my day’ – he whispered to me. Warped sense of humour these elders!

Henna Embroidery

Then they offered another solution to my request – and that was why the council had met! To hear me on the ‘second option’ they had on me – as the first one ‘was completely out of the question’. Then dried dates and coffee were served – whilst I felt like sinking into the ground! Simply and smugly put – it was just a question of ‘the birds and bees’ at my age then – but nobody had explained to me about these things. In today’s lives – I would hardly dare to do that to my son – because I would end as the more ‘Embarrassed One’ than anybody else!

I got him!

The meeting had been held because I saw that very beautiful girl – and I had followed her to her house. I wanted to get married to her – and that was the ‘Big Joke’ going around! Forget about the ‘birds and the bees’ for a moment – but this girl’s family never allowed anybody outside their tribe to get married into the tribe – even if they were the same Omani stock like us!

It was always marriages inside the tribe – but more between cousins – first ones more! So the meeting of the elders was set – to determine my second option to choose from my other 16 cousins – and if I forget who was who – they would bring them ‘to show me’! Thus the big gathering in the house – M was going to choose a bride today! Happy occasion! My late Mother was so upset that I had not discussed this first with her – she was closer to her own Mother – and thought that we would follow suit – but we were ‘macho kids’!

Indian Marriage

But I had badly disappointed them – because it was the other girl ‘I could not have’ that I was still interested in! Years later I met this girl – and we had a long laugh together! Yes – she was married to her first cousin – but the marriage did not last! Even after the children! These families were not ‘really rich and famous’ – but they had their ways of doing things – even now to a lesser extent with the changing times and modernity!

Not My Cousin!

Indeed, there was a very beautiful article by one famed (Salalah) Omani lady about these problems in The South – followed by another Omani lady from Muscat in another daily. There is nothing more that I could add except to say that especially with us stock from The Interior – these things still do exist – even if they emigrate to other countries – as vividly displayed by the Council of Elders – and the always dried dates and coffee that followed!

My Cousin!

Years and years later – my heart had gone to one first cousin – but she had her own priorities than me! On the day of the wedding my late poor feeling father saw me depressed and again he asked me – Just say it – and I will stop this wedding just now! Whether she likes it or not – she will get married to you. I said to him – Sorry Dad – let it be – but I certainly do not want an ‘unwilling tied by rope wife’ to come to me!

The sad part was that our late grandparents had already marked me for her to get married to – but none in the lists left behind ever were accomplished – everybody got married to everybody else – with no exceptions – non in cousins – and or first cousins – included! When my son wanted to get married to ‘a sort of a foreigner’ – I tried my father’s ways – but failed badly! Yuk – my son declared – Are you out of your mind? She is my sister – we grew up together! Be serious dad! How can you dare to suggest such a cousin to me?

And that is The Society for you – now! But yes – in some quarters still continue – but slowly changing too! Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money. Jules Renard

The desire to write grows with writing. Desiderius Erasmus

The Blood In All Of Us! ^Reply

For Sunday – April 21st 2013.

Between Us Only!

The Blood In All Of Us!

Frankly and honestly, I do not know about you – but I have yet to see green, blue or yellow blood! It is all red blood! If I show you a jar of blood and I ask you to guess whom it belonged to – your guess is as good as mine!

Blood

The other week there was a good article by one famed Omani Columnist in the other newspaper about problems and repercussions in Mixed Marriages – between locals and foreigners – and how they are not able to survive the onslaughts and pressures that they usually get from within the family and from outside the family! It depends from one situation to the other – but in many cases than one – it is the family ones that finally cracks open the marriage – even if there are children involved in the marriages!

This same week my sister-in-law – my younger brother ex wife – a British girl from Yorkshire – passed away in UK. The sad part is that the children with their children too splitting in loyalties and affiliations – with half taking on the S family surname – whilst the other taking the mother family side! Sadly my brother was not such an observing religious type – so those who followed his steps were equally not religious and observing – though the Muslim names had remained!

From The Archives

It reminded me of a film of ex Yugoslavia – based on real facts – where some ‘Muslim’ women were rounded up by the Serbs in Srebrenica during the bloody civil wars there decades back. The ‘comfort women’ were ‘shocked’ for such round ups – because they even ‘did not know they were Muslims’ – apart from the similar names – because they ate pork, did not fast – and alcohol was just a glass of tinted water! They enjoyed life to the core – like their ‘other fellow citizens’ then! Even in physique and resemblances too! And what if the differences are not even national – but more in ethnicity – like in the preceeding case?

There was a documentary in Al Jazeera Television I had seen a few days back about the bloody massacres in Rwanda – titled (A) Letter From My Child! It is about Shyaka – a 13-year-old boy with a disarming smile – is only now a few years younger than his mother was when she was raped in 1994. He is one of the estimated 25,000 children of the 500,000 women who were raped during the Rwandan genocide.

Although it is illegal, many raped women in Rwanda had abortions. Some killed their newborn child. Others abandoned their child. Most of the mothers who bore these babies never told their children the truth. Goretti – Shakya’s mother – is one of them. Shyaka is a smart, inquisitive teenager who has been asking questions about his father for some time now. And there are quite a few people in Goretti’s village who know what happened to her. People who know that Shyaka is the result of rape.

Image Shyaka – A Letter From My Child!

Beatrice Mukangenzi, a family friend explains: “When the children ask what has happened, a lot of mothers feel they have to lie. One says this, the other says that. But all of it is a lie. “The children feel that their mother lies because she’s not at ease. That is why children continue asking until they hear the truth. Talking about sexuality is a taboo here in Rwanda. Rape is not a subject that is talked about …. It’s sad. You are the victim … but when you’re raped, it’s as if it is all your fault. So a lot of women hide what has happened to them because they are afraid to become totally ostracised.”

The boy remembers that his mother used to beat him frequently – sometimes for no apparent reason – except for the love-hate relationships of the mother to the son – the internal conflict of being and remaining maternal – and the son as a result of ethnicity rape case – and it reminding her about it all the time when she sees her son – and especially when the son misbehaves!

The boy writes – Dear Mum – When I became 9 years old … I started to think about my father for the first time. Because all my friends talk about their fathers – except me. I have nothing to talk about who is my father really is! . I asked you then for the first time about my father. I ask you: where is my father? I want to see my father. I hope you will be able to answer me! “- Shyaka, 13 years old writes to the Mother. The mother cannot read English – so the letter is translated by the aunt for him! Is Goretti going to answer the letter from Shyaka and tell her son the truth about his descent? Do not want to surprise you with an answer. Just watch the programme – or Google it!

It is very sad pathetic story of human injustices, paranoia, animosity and hatred of humans to one another – that even makes animals to be far better species than what we really are at our best! We see the same scenarios unfolding now in Syria – and that is the saddest and most tragic part out of it all now!

We used to joke sometimes – in bad taste – to our late father – his real namesake like him and the names – is half foreign! The poor old man smiled – but you could see he did not like the joke! But what else could he do – but just grin and bear it! It is surprising how death can easily bring families in together – from all the corners of the world – even if briefly – until the next time.

Frankly the children can understand – but it is more confusing to the grandchildren! One of them was crying to me – Granny – the children in school tease and joke at me. They tell me – go away you Arab! But I am not Arab – am I Granny? No – I ruefully say to him – you are not! Even if it is a half-truth! What else can I say to him?

Sister in law – H – you will always be my family! Rest in eternal peace – Amin Amen Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

New Book – Between Us Only! The Sequel – 3! ^Reply

New Book – Between Us Only! The Sequel – 3!

The Book Extended Description

Between Us Only! The Sequel – Three! has been adapted from Majid Al Suleimany’s successful newspaper columns in The Oman Daily Observer. Utilizing the very best work from the columns he penned over the past four years, Al Suleimany touches on a wide variety of vital and riveting topics. The subject matter will be of interest to everyone from teenagers to grandparents, and from humble clerks to CEOs.

Between Us Only! The Sequel – Three! focuses on the study of humanity, human needs, human interaction, society, and economics, as well as other areas. In fact, the author covers all socio-economic-political aspects of society, with an emphasis on working environments such as office space.

The author also addresses society as a whole, and the dire repercussions and consequences of bad ideas and thoughts that can be harmful to society in the broadest sense. Though many topics apply to Oman and GCC countries, the collection of columns organized by Al Suleimany offer a universal appeal because, in his view, society and family are quite similar.

According to the author, “We have the same needs, worries, concerns and fears—as well as what we like and do not like. This is because the human being is essentially the same—regardless of race, creed, religion, color, ancestry, and ethnicity!”

The book will encourage soul-searching, deep analysis, and a quest to make the world a better place. It has been penned directly from the heart of the author to the reader. It carries many emotional personal family stories and encounters—including work experiences as a highly-qualified human resources management consultant.

The book moves quickly, advancing without boundaries, and is careful never to get bogged down in politics. While critical, the writings are also realistic and practical, and stress the need in society for change in a way that will foster more patience, tolerance, and understanding.

Yet Between Us Only! The Sequel – Three! is not without controversy. For readers who wish to study Arabic (and Islamic) approaches to the Middle East, the West, and other religions, the book makes excellent references relating to the post-September 11 world. The increases in religious fundamentalism and radicalization in society, and the fact that many youngsters are on board with these aspects, are also taken to task.

The author, through his writings, offers up a tome that is part prayer and part preaching, desperately hoping for a change in the world that will produce a new and more positive direction. “Live and let live in peace, harmony, and co-existence,” is Al Suleimany’s mantra.

The Family: In Crisis! ^Reply

For Sunday April 7th 2013

Between Us Only!

The Family: In Crisis!

The Family is a real-life documentary in 2-parts by The Television Al Jazeera English. In a tale of politics, power and greed, this two-part series examines the Mubarak family – close and in detail – like that of any family – when facing crisis – whether from within or outside – if real or created and as artificial.

As Hosni Mubarak, the former Egyptian president, lies on his deathbed, The Family offers a fresh perspective on the history and inner workings of the man, his wife and his family. It is the story of Hosni Mubarak – along with his wife Suzanne and their two sons – is a tale of politics, power, ambition and greed. It is a story of a humble birth and a rise through the ranks of the Egyptian Air Force, culminating in a 30-year reign over the fulcrum of the Arab world – all set against the backdrop of a tumultuous region.

The first of these two-hour documentaries shows Mubarak as the unassuming and loyal lieutenant of the famous Egyptian President – Gamal Abdel Nasser and Anwar al-Sadat – who found himself thrust into the top job – brought to power by a twist of fate.

Family Images – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

The second shows Mubarak as president, developing into a dictator and surrounded by a family with an insatiable appetite for self-interest. Distanced from his people by those in the inner circle – advisors and the family – and not knowing what was really happening on the grounds!

This is a tale of how power corrupts, of how a once-modest man turned into an all-powerful pharaoh who rode roughshod over the wishes of his subjects – and of a dramatic downfall. The Family includes testimony from those who served with Mubarak as well as members of his family and inner circle and photographs from the family album.

Two parts that really touched and moved me and where I could touch base and associate – is seeing poor Hosni Mubarak really traumatised – broken down and shocked beyond belief – when his favourite grandson Mohamed at age of about 12 died by a mysterious disease. At this particular time – he really wanted to quit politics – because he simply could not take it – handle it anymore! He had literally given up in life – and just wanted to disappear from the lime lights! But he was persuaded to continue by his family and the ‘inner circles’ – because the ‘country needed him to continue in that position’! Sometimes that first ‘gut feelings’ are always proved right!

Family Images – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

The second part was when the sons fought furiously blaming each other for the downfall of their father the president – and his destiny and legacy. The army warning that the family had to abdicate and move on to Sharm-el-Shaikh – and Madam Wife refusing – and had to be literally dragged by her sons to the waiting military helicopter!

It is an intriguing documentary – that made me watch both the two parts continuously! And like most families – whether you are a President of a country – or just a retired HR Professional like me – at the time of crisis – especially from within – and even from the outside more – the true identity and ingredients – the mantle and the makeup of the family comes out! Whether you will rise to the occasion – and take the high road – or disintegrate and break up into pieces – and families split in the middle – or as many cases – more than two sides – with some deciding to remain ‘neutral’ – or move between sides – as the time ensues and proceeds!

Hosni Mubarak Family Portrait – The Good Old Times!

This documentary – according to my assessment – is a study of human nature, approaches, attitudes and focuses in life – that and the students in social studies should undertake – including Historians – and those who write bibliographies too! Not just to study this family in history – but if I was an Egyptian and with access – as a record for future history and records – and as a learning process for future Arab Leaders – specifically and in particular!

I know personally people that we used to work in the same places – and who are now millionaires – whilst poor me continues to depend on my pension money – and the few money in writing – columns and my books! People who were so economical that they were looking for the cheapest airfares and holidays that they could find – to now having all the money in the world – and their own private jets and yachts too! Have they remained the same – or have they changed dramatically now? For the better or worse? A one million dollar question!

Family Images – For Demonstration Purposes Only!

I always like to quote Alexander The Great 3 wishes when he was on his death bed – I came with empty hands in this world – and I go now with empty hands to my grave. All the power, fame and riches I leave behind me! And the other expression – I wanted to change the world – but the world changed me – instead! (Anon)

It is easy to talk about others and preach – but if you ask me honestly and frankly – that is what most of us are doing nowadays and as the-in fashion and style thing to do! But a long time ago – when we were kids and were rich – we had our heads in the clouds – and treated rather raw and badly the other children that were poor and in need. Was it God’s punishment that by misfortune of fate – and wrong choices in life – we went broke and bust – and got to learn what it was to be in need and in want – to find the real truth and bitterness in life? I guess so! Pride always goes before a fall!

Sad Ending – In Court!

The other day I met this young man driving this oldish type of 4WD. So I was interested in talking to him – and found an excuse to do so! There is no good picker of conversation than to admire and comment on a car – and I had recognised the numbers as something uniquely linked to my date of birth! Yes – he was the son of my good friend and work peer who had died a few years ago. The car is still going strong years later – whilst the poor man’s bones in the ground are all that is left now!

Whatever belief you have in life – the basic and fundamental teachings and outlooks in living with others in life – and those that are poorer and more in need are basically the same! Even from those pagans that worship the baobab tree – the river or others! But will we human beings ever learn? I doubt so!

Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

With A Heart of Stone! ^Reply

For Sunday March 31^st 2013

Between Us Only!

With A Heart of Stone!

No Mercy In The Hearts!

Or Just Hearts Made out of Stones!

Allah (God) will not give mercy to anyone, except those who give mercy to others – The Islamic Hadith
Sweet mercy is nobility’s true badge – William Shakespeare
Teach me to feel another’s woe; to hide the fault I see; that mercy I to others show; that mercy show to me – Alexander Pope

Something that has always baffled and confused me till to this day is seeing some supposed to be ‘decent nice good people’ and that are also ‘following and observing’ having the meanest cruel envious jealous hearts that you ever saw – and making that the opposite drinking smoking etc. character as honorable and more astute and more considerate and charitable.

Images Bad – For Demontration Purposes Only!

It all looks like a drama and role acting play – and that as if that person has been given – or chosen for himself a role – even starring one – that he or she is least suited for! It looks at best a bravado too – if not a façade and staged act, play and drama. The hypocrisy and double standards are really devastating – and killing too!

In my career life and others, I have seen people that are really high positions feeling jealous and envious of fast rising high potential staff that they have even developed sinister evil plans to curtail and or dampen their growth – because of the fear element – or just plain envy and jealousy that it took them a lot of efforts and time to pass through the phases – unalike the competition that is moving fast upwards and vertically!

I had bosses that even if need and desperation I would prefer to be without – because I know well in advance what their reactions and answers will be. Forget the staff under me – or those I am responsible and looking after. If I go to one particular Department boss for an issue of the staff under him – I know well the refusal and the negativity – simply because he does not like that person – and to ‘fix him’ in showing him his authority and power – even if you throw him the book – and point out that it is allowable – he will create an artificial not true situation in retort – saying to you – our Department now is at critical ‘this stage’ level – and we simply cannot allow anyone – for example compassionate emergency leave now! A few days later another staff whom he likes – and does ‘not need fixing’ can be allowed by the same boss to proceed – because I know him and his family – and he deserves the break – whilst the other one is left trying hard to cope with the denial – and continuing doing his job at the same time!

The same can be done to the contractor, customer and client! One gets ‘no never’ – whilst the other ‘possibly yes’ and even direct yes! For the same situation, condition and request! What is this that we do not fear God anymore? That as supposed to be believers we are simply not afraid of ‘what goes around; comes around’? The punishment on earth before they bury you? The punishment of the grave? The day of Judgement? Or reincarnation?

And the worst part I personally feel is when it extends to family and family versus relatives relationships and associations – you side with one – against the other! We defend those that are not defendable – and attack those that are defendable – and have reason and justification – but we simply deny them – because our evil hearts and minds dictate to us that we should do so – and damn the rest in injustices and unfairness – lack of ethics, principles, justice and professionalism!

Images Bad – For Demontration Purposes Only!

And if someone pokes his fingers into your eyes – don’t squirm and turn! Be quiet – let him do it – because he is the boss – or he is in a position and authority to do so! I had narrated this case when one friend had visited him in my office – and talking to him nicely – when this boss of mine – a fellow local – comes in ‘shouting and screaming’ loud in the corridors for the whole world to hear! Everyone – including visitors in the reception – were looking at me as if fish out of water – and I kept praying quietly under the breathe to avoid making more drama and spectatle!

Images Bad – For Demontration Purposes Only!

He was still puffing and cursing in his office when I went in – closed the door behind me – looked him straight in the face and told him that ‘this is your final and last time’ that you will do this to me ever again! You have issues with me – justified or not – on my works and or otherwise – please call me to your office – and let us discuss rationally – professionally and ethically – and we will then try best to sort out the issues and amicably. When my temporary contract came for renewal – he declined to do so! He was not used at people getting back to him – and making a stand to him!

Sometimes if you see how some high profile places are run – it will shock you to the core – and your very foundations!

Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

Pride and Prejudice! ^Reply

For Sunday March 24^th 2013

Between Us Only!

Pride and Prejudice!

Or My Poor ‘African Cousin’!

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong - Mahatma Gandhi
Mistakes are always forgivable, if one has the courage to admit them! – Bruce Lee
The successful man will profit from his mistakes and try again in a different way – Dale Carnegie

A Introduction

According to Wikipedia, Pride and Prejudice is a novel by Jane Austen, first published in 1813. The story follows the main character Elizabeth Bennet as she deals with issues of manners, upbringing, morality, education, and marriage in the society of the landed gentry of early 19^th century England. Elizabeth is the second of five daughters of a country gentleman living near the fictional town of Meryton in Hertfordshire, near London. “Pride and Prejudice is also about that thing that all great novels consider – the search for self.

One day Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi stole a little money from his father’s pocket. He trembled to pick his father’s pocket. But he realized it was a great crime. This realization did not allow him to rest in peace. He became restless. His conscience pricked him. It was too much to bear. So, he decided that he should never steal anything from anybody under any circumstances. He did not stop at that.

Image Pride and Prejudice.

He wrote a letter of confession admitting his mistake and swore that he would never resort to stealing. But he was not bold enough to give the letter to his father. So, he put it in his pocket secretly. The father was so much moved by the confession that he instantly forgave self-correction, Gandhi became Mahatma Gandhi. So, let us learn to admit the mistakes done by us knowingly or unknowingly, and also to try not to commit the same mistake in our life time.

B The Story

I do not know about you but in my life’s time I have done some real big mistakes and errors in judgement in my life – but nothing is compared to when one is a young child and as a teenager. Some mistakes we may have regretted immediately afterwards – and others it took us a long time to admit – after fighting our own guilt and conscience – and we regret to the end of our lives even! I read this Snoopy character cartoon of ‘Make one mistake – and you will regret for the rest of your life!

Image – African Woman

People like us from parents and grandparents that went to Africa cannot discount or deny the links to that distant land – even in family and relatives connections. Our parents and (great) grandparents went to Africa in dhows – and many decided to settle there after the dark part of our history in autocracy and persecution – and supported by those that preached freedom and democracy in more as rhetoric and falsehood than in reality – so long as ‘their interests’ are served – they do not care or feel for anybody else. It is only when there is ‘threat and or infringement’ that they dare to step in to ‘preserve and protect’ their own interests and well being only!

African Woman 2

Image African Woman

I had one of my late Uncles who spoke fluent Swahili – but he was embarrassed and feeling shameful that he did – and had even been to Africa – and that even one of his own sons had married a local girl – and got children too – his grandchildren. Of course he was more attuned to his children that were more near his own choices of in arranged marriages than the rebel prodigical son! I found this irony very much disturbing and upsetting – because it looked to me like that ostrich with head in the ground approach of life’s aspects.

He is not alone – there are many others just like him – in that you look the other way – and expect the whole world in this internet global age to do the same! As Obama had said – Those days are long gone! We need to wake up to the realization and truth only. That is why I always say – in Oman we have a great thing going – and to do the right correct ethical and right thing – even if eventually and belatedly sometimes! Now having preached and in rhetoric practice – I need to admit this part of my life’s history. In talking about myself – hopefully others will learn too – and some hopefully may even copy and emulate in the process!

Image – African Women

As a young boy of about 8 years old – our late grandfather direct from Manah – had married a local girl there in that distant land. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder – and there is no colour, race, creed, nationality or ethnicity in love – truthfully and honestly speaking here! So whether we like it or not – we are related directly to the offsprings – even if they may look differently to us! Our father at the time was very rich and powerful – and he had the colonial District Commissioner as ‘his personal friend and protector’. I said about all these things before!

As you can guess – coming from a rich family – and you had just to say it – and your wish was given to you! I remembered when my late father had asked me – if I wanted anything gift in particular – and I told him that I wanted a horse! I meant a real live horse – but the poor man gave us a riding horse alright – but made of steel – and wheels! So being pampered and getting whatever we wanted as kids – our heads were in the clouds – spoilt and pompous – and looking down on other kids lesser fortunate than us. Including this poor girl from the family too! It was Eid day and the whole family had met in our late father’s rich house – and there were all of us there – including invited guests from outside!

So this poor girl wanted to ride my bicycle – and selfish me did not allow her to do so! But I allowed others – and that was the worst mean part of me – in prejudices! Pride and prejudice! She is one year older than me! We made amends few years ago – when I kneeled down and apologised to her what I did to her as a young boy.

Please pray for her too – because she needs your prayers too! Because she is very sick – and the message came in last Wednesday. She had insisted that I be informed – and I pray for her! And she …. has forgiven me – because she did instead ride the truck – that I bought for her husband’s business far later in life!

What more can I say? Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

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Increasing Alcohol Abuse! ^Reply

For Sunday March 17^th 2013

Between Us Only!

Increasing Alcohol Abuse!

v O you who believe! Intoxicants (all kinds of alcoholic drinks), gambling, idolatry, and diving arrows are an abomination of Satan’s handiwork. So avoid that so that you may be successful – The Holy Quran 5: 90

v Alcohol maybe man’s worst enemy! – Frank Sinatra

v I don’t even drink! I can’t stand the taste of alcohol! – Kim Kardashian

v Alcohol gives you infinite patience for stupidity – Sammy Davis Jnr.

v Herb is the healing of a nation; alcohol is the destruction! – Bob Marley

v Alcohol is the anesthia by which we endure the operation of life – George Bernard Shaw.

Frankly and truthfully speaking, I have written on this very same topic a few times before! The last time I wrote on this – a few years ago – a very irate and upset relative of the family called me to start an abusive from the start discussion about my writings – and saying to me that he will be very blunt – because maybe the world does not know it – but he knows it for sure that an Indian guy working for this newspaper – was writing for me – and paying him on the sideline! He said to me – you can fool everyone – but not me! I know exactly about you. All things you think we do not know about you!

Drinkin Images For Demonstration Purposes Only!

The call was placed to me at 2 a.m. in those days when people still used land phone lines! And Madam Wife MW was worried because I was ‘at my best behaviour’ and just listening without saying anything – especially to the loud voices and shouts at the other end – after calling some minutes later – to ‘give me a piece of his mind – once more!’. Anyway – I told MW that it was a certain WRTXY – and certainly at that time he was not sober – and one could easily tell from the hoarse husky gruff voice at the other end. I do not know what hand signals he was also placing – as he was talking to me – but one does not need high imagination to fathom out what they could be!

Next day, at around noon he came to my Office – and I was just about to press the emergency link button to Security – when he started crying in the Office in very loud voices – now that he was sober – and asking for ‘my help to save him’ – and if I knew Alcoholics Anonymous contact – but I referred him to a fellow Omani peer who likes his drinks – and the one that easily became ‘high flying potential’ to succeed over a lot of the rest of us that went without and observing – because we had not caught on – and were ‘not modern’!

Drinkin Images For Demonstration Purposes Only!

When I was studying in UK in the 1970s, my peers foreign students friends used to use me as their chauffeur to take them from the pubs – until that day when I put my foot down – when two of them dirtied my car. There was there one pretty tall local girl that really took a fancy to me – remember I was still young and not married then – but when she found out that I was not ‘drinking even socially’ – as she kindly put it – that was too much for her! And the pretty thing slipped through my fingers!

For a long time I was fighting with the devil whether to entertain her or not – until then when I remembered and came to my senses – as the East Africans say – The one who denies you beans – is just reducing you from getting gas! – And frankly not a lost grapes saga!

Drinkin Images For Demonstration Purposes Only!

In one of the new FDI companies, I was in a very good position and status as their HR man in Oman. Until the day when the top guys from their home came to the launch – and found out that my white wine glass was actually a soft drink beverage! One of them was drawn to the bubbles in the glass – because as I understand it – the white wine does not cause bubbles?

He said to me – I am confused! I thought you were 3 years in UK? Explain to me! So I did! And that also happened in a Management course abroad – a few years before I retired – because the good final farewell party Organiser said to me – All you people (you people?) coming from (our region) drink heavily – why are you a fish out of water – from the famous expression – drink like a fish! Sic!

It is very sad to see the outlook and approach of life that some of our youngsters have adopted and taken that ‘it is okay – that you can drink a little – ‘just to socialise’ escapades – but they forget that it is how all the things start – before you start making a fool and nuisance of yourself – and cause strife and havoc in your married and family life. Sad when even the lassies do it too – because I can tell you – honestly and frankly – whether you believe me or not – that even those that like their drinks want a spouse and life partner that does not drink! HEALTH Alcohol 074058

Drinkin Images For Demonstration Purposes Only!

I have seen it real life experiences – both local and foreign – where marriages – even amongst the elders – supposed to be more patient and waiting in dreams for changes – have broken up – because of the stuff! Because that is the root cause of domestic violence! The people that suffer the most – and hopefully will not join in the future – copy and emulate – are the children teenagers only!

Trust me – I am a great believer in ‘live and let live’ syndromes and approaches – because I could go to a pub and have my meal – and if you leave me alone to have nowadays my fresh juice also – and you have whatever you want – but don’t impose your rules and values to me – and I will not impose mine to you! If you say to me things like ‘a lot of you people (you people?) drink a lot – when you have only have few examples in reality to give – then we have problems ahead – between us – as I had said in my books too!

One long time ago – in a great party – one of the top local guys that just could not stand me – told me ‘why he hated me to the core’. Next day sober (hopefully!) he said to me – I hope I was not a nuisance yesterday? I said – sarcastically – more to myself – No Sir! You were okay! Why give him the advantage – and an ace card?

Allah God Guide us the Right Path and Way – Amin Amen. Take Care!

By Majid Al Suleimany

With sincere and due apologies!

Being who you are and saying what you really feel! www.majidall.com

My New Site after first one of www.betweenusonly.com • God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference – Reinhold Niebuhr-

Category Archives: Family Stories

Women In The Working Field! ^Reply

Ending Relationships in Life! ^Reply

A Question of Loyalty! ^Reply

Marriages Between Cousins! ^Reply

The Blood In All Of Us! ^Reply

New Book – Between Us Only! The Sequel – 3! ^Reply

The Family: In Crisis! ^Reply

With A Heart of Stone! ^Reply

Pride and Prejudice! ^Reply

Increasing Alcohol Abuse! ^Reply

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